Page 71 of Unrivaled Pleasure (Montana Double Riders 4)

Now that she was at long last financially secure, and had found not one but two men to love beyond all reason, there was a small problem. Dylan didn’t want to get married. He hadn’t lied about it. He’d been very forthcoming. But it wasn’t fair.

The scene in bed with Dylan at the stable master’s office came blazing into her mind. He’d said, “And why I never want to get married ever again.”

He was nuzzling her neck and all she could think about was growing old all alone and her dream fading and dying before her eyes.

“No. Not because I’ve got money. But there is the part where you don’t want to get married,” she said under her breath, effectively dashing that long-ago fairy-tale dream of normalcy away like hard rain pounding over a chalk-drawn sidewalk picture. She snapped out of her reverie realizing she hadn’t meant to say those words out loud.

Dylan didn’t say anything. He kissed her shoulder again, but she could tell he was pondering what she’d just said.

Hunter joined in, pressing himself to her front. He grinned and said, “I’d be willing to get married.”

“But Dylan won’t,” she said unable to hide the sadness in her tone. Why was this matter suddenly so important? Why couldn’t she enjoy life for a single moment? Sammy was gone. She was rich. And yet, she wasn’t completely pleased.

Maybe it was because for the first time in her life she felt like she had a choice? Most of what she’d done in her past week and really all her unremarkable life was because that was what she was forced to do because of her circumstances. Now that she had the means to decide her fate, did she still want the old dreams or the new ones?

She wished she could have both.

Dylan said coaxingly, “Do we need to decide on marriage right now, this second?” He brushed another kiss on the back of her neck, sending tendrils of pleasure to every nerve in her body.

The laughing children and the fanciful dreams she’d wanted faded away, dying like a neglected property, suddenly grown over with weeds, covered, and gone into hiding, unable to be seen. A pulse of anger surfaced. She wasn’t ready to let it go.

“No. Let’s wait for twenty years or so until I’m unable to even have any children before we decide what do next.” She wished she could stop the snarky comments. She sounded completely irrational, bitter, and well…pretty damn snarky, but in the moment didn’t care.

Her old dreams had pooled and faded away once more to the back of her mind, replaced willingly by the love she had for these men. A love that wanted to burst through her head with joy, but obviously she couldn’t have both her dreams of a traditional home and family and also the two loves of her life.

“Twenty years? Children? What are you talking about?” Dylan stiffened behind her as if he’d just figured out she was unhappy. She felt him withdraw. She was sick to her stomach. She was also being unreasonable in this moment but couldn’t seem to stop herself from letting her true feelings out to air.

“And you’d probably be fine if we never had any children either, but I’m not ready to give up that dream just yet.”

Hunter paled and asked, “You want to have children? Really?”

Lilianna nodded. She needed them to hear the absolute truth of her other desires. “Yes. I really do. I mean, not tomorrow, but eventually. Don’t you want kids?”

“Doesn’t matter.” A woeful smile shaped his lips. He pushed out a long sigh. “The thing is, I can’t have children.”

“Why not?” She conjured all sorts of pictures of him hating the very idea of children so much that he’d gotten a vasectomy long ago so as to never have to deal with paternity suits and unwanted children.

“I don’t know. Something I was born with, I guess. Found out early on in the military. I’m infertile.” He looked into her eyes and probably saw her indecision.

“I’m so sorry,” she said quietly. She almost asked about adoption but didn’t want to press her luck.

Hunter shrugged. “I got over it a long time ago. Although in this moment, I’m more sorry than ever that I can’t give you something you obviously want very much. I wish I could.”

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