Page 14 of Pieces of Us

After a thoughtful beat, he finally responds.

‘Whatever you want, sweetheart. How would you feel about visiting her in October as an early birthday present? You could even do your studying over there. That way, you can concentrate on just that and not have to worry about anything back here. Of course, you’ll come back for exams and graduation, but I think putting as much space between you and Linc as possible might be a good thing.’ I can tell he's apprehensive, admitting his plan to me, but what he doesn’t realise is that a break away is exactly what I need.

I smile brightly at him. ‘Absolutely. I need this.’

Chapter 8

New Divide

Lincoln, Year 12—October

The silhouette underneath my sheets rustles, causing me to stir. Billie’s lithe body squirms to find me, but I feel wrong holding her when my thoughts are elsewhere. Her blonde hair lays piled in a mess on top of her head, her dark lashes fanning over her cheeks. She’s quintessentially stunning, yet I’m thinking about a particular raven-haired beauty with pretty green eyes.

My stomach tightens at my inner betrayal, so I glance away.

It has been months since I made Billie my girlfriend. She should have her rightful spot in my bed, but still, the only woman who truly belongs here now remains firmly in my past.

I drag in a slow breath and release it as silently as possible. I don’t know why my brain is in a constant fog over this warped love triangle I seem to be in. Billie is everything I should want in a girlfriend. She’s been so good to me, and yet my heart still beats for Amity.

‘Hey, handsome,’ Billie says huskily.

I stretch my arms above my head to properly relieve the tension in my body. ‘Hey, gorgeous.’

Dad is at a conference for a few days, and Jasmine is sleeping at our grandparents’, which finally allows me to have my girlfriend properly in my bed. Initially, Billie was banned from stepping foot inside our home once Dad found out about how things went down with Amity. But the last couple of months, he’s relented. Sleepovers are still forbidden, so I need to take advantage of every chance I get—especially since QCE is starting next week and I’ll be studying my ass off, trying to pass.

‘Have a nice nap?’ She blinks up at me. Behind her, the clock reads just past seven in the morning.

‘Hell yeah, babe.’ I chuckle, remembering what an animal I was a few hours ago. I was mad at myself for letting my mind float back to the first time I had sex with Amity, so I took it out on Billie’s body.

‘Want to do it again?’ Her nails tickle my abs until she reaches my stirring cock.

‘We better not. Dad could come home any minute. He caught the first flight,’ I groan. Shit will hit the fan if he finds out that Billie stayed the night. It doesn’t help that she finds him intimidating, and borderline annoying with how much he manages to slip Amity into conversations. He keeps a shrine of photos of us on our mantel. What girlfriend would be okay seeing their boyfriend’s ex paraded everywhere? I’ve begged him to take them down, but he refuses, stating that this is his house and she will always be like a daughter to him.

Tugging on her black linen dress and retying her hair into a messy ponytail, Billie rolls her eyes. ‘Wouldn’t want Daddy to get upset that I’m not Amity, now, would we?’ she snarks. Her insecurity is the least attractive thing about her, and to be honest, it is becoming a gigantic issue between us. I’ve never given her a reason to doubt me. I’ve been fully committed to her since I broke Amity’s heart, yet jealousy consumes her.

‘Bil, baby, come on. Don’t be like that.’ The sheet falls from my naked waist as I stand to pacify her. I grab her chin, tilt my head and whisper a breath away from her lips. ‘You’re my girl. My only girl.’

I see the simmering rage turn to mush in her eyes.

She dazzles me with a grin. ‘Okay.’ After briefly kissing me on the lips, she heads out the door. All the sex must have made her less bitchy this morning, because usually, we’d have another World War III fight over my ex.

Did I feel bad about getting with Billie? Of course. At first, I felt like the worst cunt who ever lived, knowing I had obliterated Amity. But Billie’s friendship saved me from some of my darkest thoughts when she left. She filled that void. When she made the first move, I didn’t turn her away. Plus, we had a history, with me losing my virginity to her, so I felt like I owed it to her to give us a chance. As our friendship strengthened, so did our attraction. The pain of Amity leaving lessened, and a glimmer of happiness reappeared. I felt guilty when I started ignoring Amity, but I didn’t want to hurt her by falling for her friend. What I didn’t in a million years anticipate was her walking back into my life and finding out about Billie the way she did.

Do I love Billie? Not…yet? It’s more a deep affection for her.

Do I still love Amity? I’ve never said the words out loud, but yes, I think I do.

Eventually, I need to find a way to get over being in love with her, because she has made it crystal clear, to quote Taylor Swift, that we are ‘never ever getting back together’, which is why I have to pour every effort into seeing if Billie can be a permanent part of my future.

Laying back down, I’m not ready to face the future yet. Reaching over, I open my bedside drawer and pull out a wooden photo frame that I stuff in there every time Billie comes over.

Tracing over the photo inside the jagged frame, I can’t help to cast my mind back to when it was taken. Year ten formal. Naturally, Amity and I went together. It’s a photo of my arm tucked below her waist and her staring up into my eyes, beaming. Dad made us pose for it. At the time, we both were humiliated. Now, I’m so glad he made us pose like that because it is my favourite photo of us. I know Amity has always been self-conscious about her body, but she has no reason to be. Her curves are as if they were carved by Michaeangelo himself. On that day, they were particularly salivating, wrapped in sensual black that clung to her frame. Her chest had far developed beyond all the other girls in the grade, her cleavage tastefully enticing all my senses. She never needed to wear make-up, but God, those fire engine-stained lips were sinful, and I imagined them painting my cock no less than two-hundred times that night.

I wonder if she kept the copy I made her? Probably not. I wouldn’t, if our roles were reversed.

The first few months of her being back were tough on everyone. Me, Billie, Dad, Uncle Mark and especially Amity. The first couple of days, I tried reaching out to apologise, but I was blocked from her life. When it was clear I had incinerated our friendship, I threw myself into my relationship with Billie. Seeing Amity around school made me cry on the inside for how she must have felt. Heinous rumours circulated. I have no idea who the instigator was, but if I ever find out, I’ll rip into them. The worst one was about her weight, that it was the reason I ended things with her. It was the farthest thing from the truth. At some point, I stopped looking for her altogether. I couldn’t stand the embarrassment and dejection on her face when she saw me with Billie. It also wasn’t fair on Billie, for me to be a half-ass in the relationship. It wasn’t her fault that Amity was back.

Hearing the front door slam, I know Dad’s home. His keys clank on the hall table, and the thump of his bag follows on the floor. ‘He’s still asleep, so you’re good.’

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