Page 12 of Pieces of Us

‘He loves to toss me around. Says that he loves my body, how little and light I am. He barely needs to hold me with two hands when he fucks me against the wall.’

Water cascades down my face, hearing these painful revelations. Strangling my throat, I cut off circulation to stop the onslaught of heaving.

‘I bet she was a starfish in bed, if he could even find her pussy beneath all those rolls. Do you think she had to lift the skin up so he could find it?’ one of them cruelly cackles.

What they’re saying is asphyxiating.

They are ruining the most precious memory I shared with Lincoln with their taunts.

Holding my breath, I know what I have to do.

With shaky hands and eyes closed, I push the plunger of the needle down, feeling the sting in my skin.

‘She knew you liked him and went after him anyway. Such a sweaty skank,’ Zara pipes up again.

Huh?

She’s the one who outwardly flirted with my boyfriend, over and over.

‘How has it been with Linc since she got back?’ one of her minions asks sympathetically, as if my return is the worst thing in the world.

‘Let’s just say I’ve been occupying his time so he doesn’t have a spare minute to even think about her.’ Her tone is villainously gleeful, and I’ll bet she is sporting the smuggest smirk.

‘I bet he was only nice to her as a favour to his mum or something. Didn’t she die?’ a crony chimes in.

Sickness swamps every part of my body at the mention of Linc’s innocent mum.

‘Oh, I know he was only with her out of guilt or a twisted sense of moral duty. Apparently, their dads are best friends, so he didn’t want to ruin their relationship. He was so relieved when she left. It was literally like losing a hundred kilos of dead weight. He didn’t look like the bad guy, breaking up with Shrek.’

Feeling dizzy, I stabilise myself on the toilet by pressing my palms to the sides of the walls.

Is that true? It sounds plausible. As I filter through how Lincoln treated me over the past few months, I feel it in my gut; that he truly feels that way about me.

‘And get this,’ Billie goes on conspiratorially. ‘He even bought her a gym membership so she could lose weight, but she left before he could give it to her. He was trying to help her shed the kilos so she had some sort of glow-up before he broke up with her.’

‘Oh my God. Stop. What a nice guy, to even think like that!’ Zara says.

That isn’t true. I mean, he could have bought it, but as I recall, my version of events from our conversations about gym is vastly different. I wanted to start pilates and yoga because of my back problems, and he said he didn’t want to miss an opportunity to see my ass in tights, so he’d come with me.

‘I know, right? Apparently, he gave her some lame excuse about wanting to see her in tights.’

Scrunching my eyes shut, I prayed to every god that she will just stop talking. Every word, every sentence is like I am at my own crucifixion.

They can all go fuck a cactus. They’re pricks, the lot of them.

‘So glad she isn’t a part of the group anymore. Honestly, all of Lincoln’s friends couldn’t stand her. They pitied how pathetic she is. Did you hear that all the guys played fuck, marry, kill, and almost all of them said to shoot the cow with a pistol?’ one of them cracks.

The final nail in the coffin or dagger to my heart is Billie admitting they have been talking behind my back. ‘He used to tell me his friends weren’t the biggest fans! Ever since eighth grade, we’ve been secretly messaging. He’s always come to me when he needed advice or support, and me him. We’ve shared so many secrets and desires, and I know it was secretly killing him that he couldn’t be with me. He’s always been that one guy I could count on, you know? Being with him was inevitable. We just needed to wait for the right time.’

A few minutes later, they exit the bathroom, and my body crumples to the floor.

There’s no way I can survive the rest of the day.

I knew Linc and Billie were a full-blown couple, but to see it thrown smack-bang in my face is more than I am capable of handling.

‘Signing out for the day?’ the school receptionist asks. When a year twelve student has a free period in the afternoon, they’re allowed to leave early, as long as we sign out in the front office. Thank fuck for free periods.

I nod my head politely, trying to shield my puffy red eyes. ‘Just sign here.’ Once the mundane task is over, I turn to head out, but instead crash into two bodies. When I look up, I falter, seeing Linc holding Billie’s smaller, french-manicured hand in his. Gulping, I’m jarred by the intimacy between the two of them. For fuck’s sake, I’ve seen his hands down her pants and his face sucking hers, yet the simple, tender gesture of hand-holding unravels me. He stares at her adoringly, the same expression that I used to own. It guts me. When his face flits over to my pain-stricken face, his morphs into empathy. Or is it remorse? I don’t stay long enough to find out, dodging around them and running away.