Page 9 of Pieces of Us

‘When?’ I grit, feeling a fountain of water blur my vision.

‘You’ll come down a few days before school holidays end.’ Mum’s tone is sheepish as she casts her eyes down.

‘That’s in two weeks!’

They both nod. Upset doesn’t cover what I’m feeling, nor does rage. I can’t be in the vicinity of either of them, so I vault straight to my room and slam the door.

Sydney. It’s a twelve-hour road trip or an hour-and-a-half flight from the Gold Coast.

Half an hour ago, it felt like Linc and I had all the time in the world to look forward to our future. Now, the clock is ticking, counting down to when we’ll have none at all.

Everything that’s ever meant something to me fits inside four large suitcases. Telling Linc was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I didn’t tell him straight away, which was a huge mistake, because my mouthy English teacher blurted out that she’d miss me at the end of one of our classes. I fled the room with Linc hot on my heels, demanding an explanation.

While I blubber, he holds me fiercely tight, vowing that we’ll make it through the next year and a bit. He goes on about how absence makes the heart grow fonder, and that we’ll make it work, but it feels like an insurmountable promise.

‘How am I supposed to live without you, baby? You’re part of my heart.’ He fights back tears as he suffocates me in his embrace. Tears clog my throat as I cry into his shirt. He is my missing link, and I am a part of his heart.

I love him, and I feel sure he loves me. I just don’t know how deep or cataclysmic it is. We are seventeen. Saying it out loud, even though every fibre of our beings means it, is scary. We may have never said the words to one another, but we feel it in every moment spent together. We don’t just have the love of two best friends; we have the love of soulmates.

‘I don’t want to go. Please, tell me nothing will change?’

Grabbing my ruddy cheeks, his choppy breath ghosts over my mouth. ‘Never. We will make it work.’

I hear the rumble of Dad’s car off in the distance. It’s time to go. My eyes lock on Linc for an excruciating amount of time, trying to imprint every detail of his face. He glues his lips to mine, savouring our last moments together. Feeling the wetness on my cheeks and a stab in my heart, I know we only have seconds left.

Stepping back, my voice breaks with every syllable. ‘Bye, Linc.’

‘Bye, Hart.’ He clears his throat, moving back from the porch. ‘Nothing changes. Remember.’

It’s a lie. Everything is about to change. But I can con myself for a little while, right?

‘Of course,’ I sniff. In my soul, I know I’ll never get past this emptiness until we are together again.

It’s as if the sun knows today isn’t a day to shine. Mother Nature is in full force with rolling clouds and cyclonic winds. With a quick peck on the cheek to Uncle Jacob, I flop down in the passenger seat, turning my head sideways to catch the last glimpse of Linc. Dad honks the horn, driving me away from the guy who makes up my heart.

Coming home. I am coming home.

It has been five whole months since I uprooted my life and moved to bustling Sydney.

Unfortunately, distance didn’t make the heart grow fonder. A combination of things broke us. Between the distance, Linc’s part-time job at our dads’ business, and the fact that we were both jealous of old and new friends, we decided to take the pressure off and go back to being best friends. I didn’t want to, but the pressure was too much. At the end of the day, we’re only seventeen, and if we’re really meant to be, we’ll find our way back to each other. At least, that’s what I kept telling myself.

I really tried living my life to the fullest, despite my heart being ripped from my ribcage. I started at a new school back in October, and acclimated as well as I could in the first term of year twelve. During the school holidays, I begged and pleaded to go back to the Gold Coast to spend it with Linc, but Mum had arranged with Lily’s mum for us to hang out in Los Angeles while she had a big make-up gig over there.

Term two of year twelve was just finishing up when Mum and Dad threw another anvil my way. I was apparently mistaken for a yoyo, and was told I was going to move back to the Gold Coast, because Mum was offered a permanent position over in Los Angeles on a movie set. It was an opportunity of a lifetime for her, and one she could not pass up.

For about a month now, something has felt off with Linc. We barely spoke for more than five minutes a day, which is peculiar, since the transition back to being best friends was relatively smooth. The only topic we steered clear of was dating. What hurts the most is that he is being distant, acting as if he has elsewhere to be. When I tried to call him out on it, he said he was just stressed about school, or was hanging with Joel and the other guys.

When the calls dwindled to texts, a pit in my stomach started forming, getting larger by the day. Pretty soon, it was sinkhole-sized. My texts went unanswered for hours on end, some of them being left on ‘read’ for a day or two. And don’t even get me started on the emotion in them. A dead fish would be more animated at this point. My anxiety has been driving me to binge eat for a few days and then starve myself the next. My mind and body is in the worst shape it’s ever been, and I hate beyond hate that my mood is tied to food.

When my parents told me I’d be coming back a few days ago, I messaged him, saying that I had something important to tell him, but I still haven’t received a response. Mum’s gig was starting imminently, so with just two days to pack and fly out, I resided on surprising him. Dad and Uncle Jacob promised to keep my return a secret.

Lily is the only real friend I’ve kept in contact with since I left. Naturally, she is thrilled her bestie is coming back. She had no idea what was up with Linc either, considering the friendship group dynamics have drastically changed since I left. At the time, I was surprised, but it made sense. Lily, Arial and Rome, the quieter of the bunch, gravitated away from the rest of the footy players, wannabe influencers and dancers. What didn’t surprise me was that Billie clung to that group, which of course Linc was a part of. She and Lily supposedly had a massive fight about it and haven’t spoken in months.

It’s nighttime by the time we arrive home.

‘Home sweet home, princess.’ Dad is jubilant as he presses the ignition off. It’s Easter school holidays, so the majority of our grade is in hibernation, studying for our half-yearlys—tests I will have to eventually complete, but for now, I have special consideration to catch up—or out partying.

On the way back, I tried calling Linc, but no answer. Deflation weighs down my body as I see Lily standing on our porch. It isn’t that I’m not over the moon to hug my best friend. It’s just that I’m not important enough for Linc to call me back.

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