‘I wanted to make sure he was okay, but I really missed my best friend. It has been twenty-five years of travelling and…I guess I don’t want that life anymore. I want to settle down with someone I love. I want to grow old with someone. Heck, I even maybe want to have another child.’
Amity seems like she contemplates her Mum’s answer for a moment, before giving her advice.
‘I think you need to be really honest with Dad, Mum. I mean, he’s switched on but when it comes to women, he probably has no idea. I can’t remember a single time he’s ever dated. If he wasn’t building the business, he was solely dedicated to me. Just be honest and go from there.’
Crystal nods, taking a sip of her iced water. ‘What about you? What’s happening with everything?’
Amity smirks at her mum’s not so inconspicuous line of questioning. ‘Is this your lame way of prying into where Lincoln and I stand?’
‘I just want to know you’re happy.’ Her tone goes from playful innocence to intrusive and offensive in a matter of seconds. ‘I could have sworn you and Jagger had something, but now you’re hooking up with Lincoln again. You know, the guy who destroyed you?’
Amity sucks in a breath as she tears her hands away from her Mum’s. ‘Firstly, Jagger and I are the best of friends. He scratched an itch when I needed,’ she shrugs. Nauseating bile rises in my throat at the thought of their past. Don’t get me wrong, Jagger is a cool guy, but it doesn’t make my skin crawl any less knowing he’s been inside my girl.
‘And Lincoln?’
‘It’s complicated,’ she mutters, throwing the pillow.
‘Is it serious?’
‘Not really…not right now…we’re-we’re going slow,’ she stammers out.
My heart sinks like a lead balloon at her stilted and disappointing confession. My breaths are laboured because that is the complete opposite of what I thought we were. ‘I mean, I’m only seeing him, but I still don’t know where we’ll end up. We live apart. I still have some trust issues to get through, and ever since he found out about my issues, it’s like he’s suffocatingly protective. It’s sweet, but it’s also annoying. Even today he kept looking at what I ate, which made me feel so self conscious and like he thought I’d break at any second. I don’t want to feel weak around him, but he makes me feel like that sometimes, and it’s a lot.’
My shoulders sink and I have to physically hold the wall so I don’t collapse. Here I thought we had been making great progress, and here she is still hiding her true feelings from me. My nose starts to tickle as I think about all the effort I’ve been putting in to show her I love her and would never hurt her again. I only want what’s best for her, and me caring for her is because I just want her to be happy and healthy.
Stumbling away from the private conversation I probably never should have eavesdropped is difficult. I know I need to calm down before facing anyone. I also know I promised we’d take things slow, but I definitely thought we were at least close to taking a serious step in our relationship.
I am confused, disappointed, angry and I feel helpless. There are so many emotions bubbling inside, I am sure to explode if I stay here any longer.
Storming into the living room where the rest of the guys are, I try to keep myself in check. ‘Dad, I got to go,’ I say a little more harshly, causing all heads to whip around at my outburst.
Uncle Mark has a concerned look on his face, but I just shake my head to let him know I’m fine. Rome has questions, but again they shouldn’t be directed at me but rather his best friend, Amity, who apparently isn’t as serious about me as I am her. Dad jumps off the couch and leads me away from everyone.
I feel my shoulders tense under his touch, and I know he does too because he squeezes my neck. ‘Talk.’
I stuff my hands in my board shorts. ‘She doesn’t think we’re serious. Apparently, we’re going really slow, and that she doesn’t know where we’ll end up. And, oh, yeah.’ I snap my fingers. ‘I’m suffocating and she doesn’t trust me.’
Dad blinks as his shoulders deflate and he shakes his head. Pulling me into a hug makes the situation worse, because now he’s pitying me.
‘Are you sure that’s what you heard?’
‘Among other things,’ I grunt.
‘Do you want to speak to her? Maybe you’re taking it out of context?’ He tries to reason but it’s no use. I know what I heard.
‘I think I need to think about some things. I don’t want to stay in this perpetual limbo forever. I just can’t be here right now.’ Dads nods in understanding.
As I turn, Amity bounces out, her arms linked with her mum. Seems like their little conversation is over.
‘Hey!’ She smiles at me as if she hasn’t just shattered my heart. When I don’t respond, her eyes go from bright to stormy as if she realises something is wrong. ‘What’s up?’ I can hear the nerves in her voice as shuffles on her bare feet.
‘Where do we stand?’ I ask bluntly, crossing my arms. I hear Dad mutter a ‘Jesus’ and sigh beside me. Crystal’s eyes go wide as if she can’t believe I’m putting her daughter on the spot. Uncle Mark has joined his daughter on the other side, his face stoic. From the looks of it, it looks like we’re having a standoff. I can tell our parents don’t want to get involved and are biting their tongues, but they also feel protective over us.
Amity sucks in a breath at my abrasiveness. ‘What?’
‘Where do we stand? You and me?’ I reiterate and annunciate it slower. ‘Our relationship or where we’re headed?’
She baulks at my questioning, glancing around to see every one of our friends and family in the room. No one is saying a word, leaving it up to us to figure out.