Page 100 of Pieces of Us

I am leaving, and it will be months before I return.

As he parks in the drop-off bay, I blow out a breath, willing myself not to tear up. I don’t know why it’s so hard to say goodbye. Theoretically, last time I left the Gold Coast, I should have been a sobbing mess. Instead, I walked on the plane numb. Now, I feel like I could be committed. I know why I’m feeling like this. It’s because our future is uncertain, and it’s on us now not to fuck it up. To find our way back to each other.

Once my suitcases are safely on a trolley Lincoln has retrieved, he extends his arms wide open and I step into them without hesitation. Wrapping my arms around his waist as he encircles my shoulders, I feel a deep-seated sadness take root in both of us.

‘This isn’t goodbye, my beautiful Hart.’ He cups my face in his hands. I don’t need a mirror this time to know what I look like. My nose feels tingly and I know it’s Rudolph red, while my weary green eyes water. It’s comforting to see he is on the edge of losing it, too.

‘I’ll see you soon, yeah?’

I nod, knowing eventually we’ll be reunited, but not hopeful that it’s any time soon.

‘I have to go,’ I choke. Leaning in, I press a soft kiss to his mouth. It’s slow, and one we’re both trying to savour.

With a heavy heart, we finally part and I step back so I can start pushing my trolley through the glass doors.

As I enter, I turn back and wave to him, seeing him for the last time. A funny feeling comes over me. Leaving this time isn’t because I’m running away; it’s so I can figure out where somewhere I belong.

‘Let’s talk about that yacht scene.’ I continue with my question, slowly dying over the fact that I am interviewing heartthrob, Michele Morrone. Not just interviewing. Lounging and laughing with him on the very same yacht they filmed that scene. And to top off every fantasy ever, I am in one of my new BDSM bondage lingerie, which is all criss-crossy and strappy, while he is casually soaking up the sun in black boardies.

God. I. Love. My. Job.

We cover everything, from how he immersed himself around people who had lived Massimo’s life, to his workout routine, to how uncomfortable it is for family and friends to see him in steamy scenes. Wrapping up, we speak about his upcoming films and what we can expect from him in the future.

If heaven was a place, this would be it. Sunning ourselves in San Remo and getting paid to interview ridiculously attractive actors, while sipping on Aperol Spritzes.

Since being back in action, I’ve barely had time to breathe. I had less than a week to sign off on my new lingerie line and tea range, before I hurriedly packed for my European leg of interviews. This is my fourth one in four days, and believe it or not, also my fourth country in four days.

It’s good to be around my team again, but it’s also an adjustment to be around so many people at once.

The only time I sleep is on the plane, or for a few hours before I have to be up at the crack of dawn to be primped to perfection. I missed my laser appointment, so I had to be waxed in places I never wish to be waxed again. On top of that, each interview has to look different, so I am constantly in front of a mirror, getting my hair straightened, curled and pulled into different styles.

Creams, tans, highlighters, body glitter and so much more have been slathered and sprayed on my body to give me the perfect even glow. I am sure, at this point, my skin is as soft as a baby’s with the amount of lotion that has been also rubbed in.

Mum was supposed to join me on this leg of my interviews as my make-up artist, but she decided to take a break instead, going back home to check on Dad. If I think too much about that situation, the little girl inside me who has hoped and prayed her whole life for her parents could make it work will take over and I’ll have no focus or attention on my actual job.

With little time to find a US-based make-up artist who could travel with us, we settled for finding one in Europe, which meant, a new make-up artist in every country. That was dramatic and stressful, but my team managed to pull it together.

I’d been solemn when I arrived back in Los Angeles, but that was swiftly erased when I realised I had no capacity to dwell on it and break down. I did manage to squeeze in a quick session with my therapist to update her on the situation with Linc and I, but also to confess I had a minor setback when I realised I hadn’t eaten for thirty-six hours with the amount of work I had to do.

To help me get through that mishap, I had to let my team know that food breaks were to be scheduled into my day, even if it was ten minutes. I also pre-empted my splurging in Europe on pasta and pizza and provided a list of foods and meals I’d like, carefully avoiding any over-indulgence.

My interview is over and while everyone wraps up around us, I take advantage of the macchinetta percolated coffee that has just been brewed. I don’t usually drink coffee, but the jet lag is making me bone-tired. My drowsiness is enhanced by the burning sun and early mornings.

Michele is talking to his team while mine are fluttering around, packing up. This leaves me to bathe on the lounges and take in the serenity that is San Remo. It’s my first time here, but I already know it trumps half the places I’ve travelled. It’s elegant, luxurious, and it has a stunning backdrop of vibrant promenades and a charming coast.

Drawing me out of my lust for this place is the buzz from my phone.

‘Hi,’ I smile, staring back at Lincoln’s handsome face. While it’s the middle of my day, I can see it’s late in Australia.

I’d texted him sporadically during my week in Los Angeles, but we hadn’t managed to successfully tee up a time to chat over the phone. It always makes me feel warm and gooey inside when he sends me good morning texts or good night voice memos, and I adore the little tidbits about his day, or our happier memories that he sends. I am a slacker when it comes to doing the same, which I felt horrible about.

‘Hi, baby. How’s my Hart going?’ his deep voice rumbles, doing things to me.

‘I’m in heaven. I’m tired, but I’m in heaven.’ I turn the camera around to show him the breathtaking scenery, and also a glimpse of Michele, who he admitted he’d stalked online the other night.

Turning the camera back onto me, I watch him lazily smile from his couch. ‘Looks like heaven, baby.’ His eyes are hooded, which is when I notice my camera is angled towards my chest.

‘Behave, there are lots of people around.’ I roll my eyes and snort.

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