Page 99 of Trapped: Until The Darkest Of Night

“You sound tired…”

I suppress a smile. “Of course I’m tired. But not from the aftereffects of the drops… Anyway, get some sleep before I have to give you some.” I put the thermos in my backpack and pause again. “Lou, I was kidding,” I add quickly, looking over at her.

She snuggles back in and stifles a yawn. “I know.”

I can’t sleep that night. I sit by the fire, not knowing what to think. Which of Lou’s feelings are real and which ones is she merely imagining?

I poke around in the embers, watching the eastern sky. The blackness gives way to a slate gray with narrow orange-red bands running through it.

Only now do I get an inkling of where we ended up. We’re still on my land, though close to state territory. If we go further upstream, we’ll come to Quiet Lake after a while. However, we’d first have to overcome the cliffs. I can’t do that with Lou on my back and she won’t be able to pull herself up on her own.

In my mind, I travel downriver. A few days’ march from here, there is a gap within the rocks. It is narrow with a stream running through it. You can stretch your arms to each side and reach the rough stones with your fingertips. If you walk along it, after a while you come to a point where it goes up. From there you reach the logging road and from it the turnout. It would be a long detour, and with it almost being September, temperatures fall daily and every night can turn into a struggle to survive.

I look at Lou, frowning. I’ll have to carry her, which won’t make it any easier, and I’m not sure the milk will last that long for Grey. I could try feeding him jerky.

Tired, I wipe my face and wish I’d slept for at least an hour. Feeling stiff, I dismantle the tarp in the chill of the morning and carefully roll it up. Then, I cook Lou oatmeal and put it in a bowl. I also give some to Grey, who is lying next to me by the fire. At some point, it occurs to me that I, too, need to eat something even if I don’t have an appetite. I take a few sips of water straight from the river and mechanically stuff myself with some hard, bone-dry crackers.

When the sky is bright blue, I go through my backpack for the fresh clothes for Lou.

She’s lounging in the sleeping bag, and when I look her way, our eyes meet. She doesn’t appear to hate me and a smile creeps across my lips. Maybe her feelings aren’t imaginary?

As Grey greets her at length, I covertly watch her. Drowsy, she sits up and looks around.

Her eyes widen and I wonder what she’s feeling when she sees the valley. Her gaze follows the light green river, the wide pebble banks to the silver grasses, the white forest hyacinths, and the shadow flowers. It continues further and further through the forest-lined valley and finally gets stuck on the snow-capped mountain giants on the horizon—mountains that seem so close but are a great many miles away.

Nature soothes me as if every thought were lost here.

“A special kind of peace, isn’t it?” I say. “It seems like nothing and no one can hurt you here.”

Lou just nods, though there is a curious sparkle in her eyes. Maybe she’s like me when I first came to this place. Back when I didn’t know how much the loneliness eats at the soul and that in the Yukon, not only would my past fade, but so would I.

“Where are we?”

Smiling, I pull a pair of jeans and one of her sweaters out of the backpack, but I don’t answer.

“Bren, where are we?” She sounds impatient.

I shrug. “Somewhere in Canada.” I toss her the clothes. “Put them on and then I’ll take care of your foot…oh, yeah”—I rub my nose, a little embarrassed—“unfortunately, I don’t have dry underpants.”

I don’t know why I don’t want to tell her where we are. The Yukon feels like a secret I can’t share with anyone—as if I’d be desecrating its magic.

While Lou changes clothes in the shelter of the sleeping bag, I extinguish the fire with dirt from the forest and put pebbles on top.

“How did you get all that stuff?” she asks, pulling her sweater over her head.

“When I woke up, you were gone,” I say, unable to entirely avoid the accusatory undertone. “I knew you wouldn’t survive out here on your own. What you were up to was madness!” I remember the oatmeal I set aside for her and hand the bowl to her. “You should eat that before we head back. It’s still warm. I also have tea in the thermos.”

She wolfs it down like she’s starving. I can’t make myself look away. If only I knew what she’s thinking and how she’s really doing.

I remember the necklace I found on the rock. That night, I stowed it in the bottom of the backpack, but I want to fix it before I give it back to her.

Lou glances over at me as if she caught me eyeing her. A shy look. I can’t interpret it.

She blinks. “So, how did you end up finding me, at the cliff I mean?”

“It was obvious that you’d orient yourself along the stream. Enough drinking water and a guarantee you wouldn’t walk in circles.” I reach for the tarp and tie it to the backpack. “When you ran off at the gorge again, I went back to get Grey to help find you. I knew a storm was approaching.”

“So, you quickly packed everything you needed to survive and set out to find…”

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