Page 91 of Trapped: Until The Darkest Of Night

I can’t think of anything else. After a while, the forest thins out. The deadwood beyond the path grows, revealing more and more forest floor, a sure sign I’m near the gorge.

Suddenly, I hear a faint rustling and stop, but it’s only a flying crow cawing. From my position, I see the last line of trees before the cliffs. Through the gaps between the trees, I notice the sky is pregnant with rain. Cautiously, I continue, and out of the corner of my eye notice movement at the edge of the slope.

My heart is pounding. Lou is next to a birch tree that has grown horizontally over the precipice with one hand clutching an upright branch. She’s peering down into the gorge, probably searching for a way down.

A thousand feelings wash over me: relief, warmth, anger.

Involuntarily, my fingers tighten around the metal chain and I pull it from my shoulder as if to use it as a lasso. Now that Lou is standing there unharmed, all I can think about is getting her back.

She’s not an animal, Brendan!

She belongs to me! She ran away from me!

Don’t hurt her!

I’ll get her back, no matter the cost!

Step by step, I creep up the slope, always hidden by the trees. Old anger flares up inside me and it takes all my strength to contain it.

I’ll be sure to not let you run away a second time!

Before I reach her, a rotten branch breaks under my sole.

Lou whips around like she’s been bitten by a tarantula. When she discovers me, she collapses, makes herself small like she did in the RV. Her face is deathly pale, her eyes large and dark.

“Bren…” I think she whispered my name. Her chest rises and falls in rapid succession.

“There’s nowhere to go from here,” I explain to her in a calm voice, trying to hide my anger. I take two steps toward her. “The terrain ends at this ravine. You can walk along the cliff as long as you like, but you can’t get into the valley.” I sound more ominous than intended. I must not frighten her, but I shouldn’t give her hope, either. Only now do I notice how close she is to the abyss and stop. “Come here. Don’t make it any worse for yourself!”

She shakes her head imperceptibly and backs away. A few rocks tumble off the edge and Lou staggers.

“Careful!” I yell. My pulse is pounding hard in the pit of my throat.

Lou clutches the branch she’s holding more tightly. She feels for the trunk with her feet. It juts out over the rocks like a balance beam for many feet—too many. “If you come closer, I’ll jump!” she yells.

In my mind, I see her petite body smashing against the foot of the ravine. The thought makes me dizzy. This is madness! Oh, God, this is crazy! She’s actually going to kill herself! I’m too far away to stop her.

“I don’t want to scare you, Lou.” I silently force myself to remain calm while sweat runs down my back. “I’m not going to hurt you. I promised you that a hundred times. That won’t change. Even now.” My skin is soaking wet, I wipe my forehead. “Come on, Lou, you know what can happen!”

“No!” She shakes her head frantically. “I don’t want to be chained up like a prisoner again.”

She looks at me over the few feet and a strange sadness creeps into her eyes. Like this afternoon when we dumped dirt onto the black water together.

There’s so much in her eyes, so much she doesn’t say. Maybe she feels more for me after all. Maybe she’s torn by everything she’s feeling.

The longer I look at her, the more I think I understand her. She’s like me, she doesn’t know herself anymore. She is confused, hurt, and angry. She is scared and desperate. Why should her feelings be pigeonholed? One good, one bad. One love, one hate. Everything is mixed up inside her as if there is only one compartment for everything.

“It was my fault,” I say. My heart fills with pity and sorrow. “I shouldn’t have made it so easy for you. The moment I was certain you took my lighter, I knew you were up to something. I should have acted immediately.” I force myself to smile, though it never took so much strength to do so. “Well, too late now. So, let’s go back and you can hate me again!”

“Why didn’t you search me if you were so sure?” Lou asks defiantly.

“I promised not to touch you. So, how could I…”

“That’s why you left the cupboard unlocked instead. To test me!”

“No!” The wind picks up. It blows Lou’s hair and tugs at her clothes. She needs to get off the trunk immediately before a heavy gust knocks her off.

With renewed determination, I pull out the emergency drops. “It was carelessness, due to my anger and the first wave of a blackout. Besides, there was nothing in the cupboard that would have helped you get rid of me.” I stare at the bottle. The wind howls in my ears.

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