So she heard me after all. Her fingers tremble!

Why is she afraid? Distrust rushes through my veins like a shot of adrenaline.

“Hm!” The dull sound suppresses the hundreds of images racing through my mind. Lou setting fire to the RV. Lou setting the forest ablaze to escape. Without taking my eyes off her, I grab my pants and search every pocket. Maybe she took it and thought about her options for a moment before putting it back.

Lou swallows and fiddles with the hem of her blouse.

I rummage through the last pocket. My fingers find a handkerchief and a cable tie—no sign of my lighter.

“Too bad!” I toss my pants over the line like they’re a venomous snake.

“Did you only have the one?” Lou asks squeakily.

“Of course not!” I glare at her. “But it was the only gas lighter.” Is it in the lake or did she pocket it? A dark anger squeezes my throat at the thought. Why is she tugging her shirt down over her shorts? What is she trying to hide?

Why are you shaking, Lou? Should I search you and break my promise?

I examine her again from head to toe. Exhaustingly long. “Are you cold?”

“I don’t feel so good.” She sounds pathetic. She’s not a good liar. The old anger rolls through me in waves. It seems to me she is about to pull the deciding card from our house of cards.

“You might be sick, you’re shaking all over, Lou!” My voice is icy. I pull myself together as I step toward her so I don’t yell the next few words. “I’m going to ask you once and I expect an honest answer.”

She looks up at me. Startled deer-in-the-headlight look.

“Did you take the lighter, yes or no?”

“No!” she squeaks and a frantic blush appears on her cheeks. I stare at the one shaped like Africa.

“Okay.” My dangerously low voice sends an icy shiver down even my spine. The house of cards collapses. Card after card of painstakingly stacked trust. Black dots dance in the corners of my eyes.

“May I go in?” I hear Lou ask through the fog of my anger.

She sounds as frightened as she was at the beginning of our journey. I want to scream.

“I told you that you don’t have to ask my permission for everything!” I bark at her. “This sucks. Like I’m a monster that forbids everything!”

I don’t know how much longer I can go without breaking something. It feels like nothing is real anymore. Neither Lou nor me. Her whole demeanor was a lie, an illusion she created to deceive me. At least now I know the answer to my questions.

I clench my hands in exasperation and watch her creep toward the RV with her shoulders slouched, the product of a guilty conscience. Before she disappears inside, she turns to me again.

You took it. You lied to me, I tell her with a look that leaves no doubt.

Why didn’t I search her? Fuck the promise! This would have been an exceptional case. And exceptional cases need exceptional rules.

That’s what he said, Brendan. He—before he left Blacky in the ground!

The feeling of falling twitches through my body. My field of vision grows hazy like dark frosted glass.

Stay here, Brendan. Breathe. Find your focus. Lou did not run away. And you’ll make sure she doesn’t. The lighter can’t do her any good!

What was I about to do?

Oh, yes, light the campfire!

I storm into the RV. Lou is curled up on the bed, the down comforter pulled up to the tip of her nose. She watches my every move intently, as if I might suddenly turn into the lunatic she fears. Maybe I do, too. Maybe it would be better to chain us both up.

Grey whines behind me, but I ignore him. Full of anger, I unlock the cabinet above the side door and fish out a packet of matches.