Page 48 of Trapped: Until The Darkest Of Night

I look up suddenly. “You just can’t run away. There’s no point anyway. I’ll always catch you. The old cat-and-mouse game.”

Lou’s eyes fire bursts of angry bolts of lightning at me. Okay, the cat-and-mouse insinuation was unnecessary—who wants to be the mouse anyway. I suppress a sigh because I continue saying the wrong things and I can’t help it. “There are a couple of things that bring this out in me,” I return to the subject again. “We call them triggers.”

Lou looks at me like I’m a cockroach she’d like to crush under the sole of her shoe. “Um, are there any others? Seems like something I ought to know.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want to talk about them,” I snap. I hate the look she gives me. “Now give me the damn key.”

“You sound so mad. I’m not giving it to you when you’re this angry.”

I let out an exasperated sigh. “You’re still scared.” It’s more of a question.

She looks at me silently, her free hand clutching the key. The disapproving expression on her face gives way again to this pleading that leaves me defenseless. She seems so tiny in front of the huge RV. A dull pressure fills my chest. I’m a pathetic idiot! Where do I get the idea I’m not scaring her? After all, she can’t look inside me. And all this here is crazy: me, the wilderness, my flash.

“I could never do anything bad to you,” I reply harshly. “What can I do that will make you believe me?”

“Let me go.”

Her prompt reply makes me smile. “One–zero for you. But you know perfectly well that that’s not going to happen. Now toss me the keys so that I can reach them.”

“What if someone finds us here?” she snaps suddenly, jerking on the handcuff as if to beckon for help. “People are searching for me. Maybe the cops will fly over in a helicopter.”

I think of the newspaper reports in the locked cupboard. “Maybe. Maybe not. The police believe you ran away. Same as hundreds of other teenagers every year. I don’t think they’re going to go to all the trouble of searching these deserted woods.”

“You’re lying!” she chokes out. “Of course they’re looking for me. That’s why you wouldn’t let me watch Find Me.”

“I’ll let you listen to the news if you want. You’re not in them anymore.” At least not in Canada. “What do you think your friends told the cops?” I give her a piercing look. “Your brother’s so strict, he doesn’t let you do anything…you said yourself you wanted to take the bus home. Or somewhere else. Trust me, the police have better things to do than run around looking for a rebellious little teenage girl. Give me the key and I’ll let you read the newspapers from the first couple of days after you disappeared.”

Lou purses her lips and peers up at the Travel America sign. “That’s blackmail. It’s not fair. And you know it.” Her voice sounds like she’s about to cry.

Now I’ve hurt her again, that sucks. I take a step back. “I shouldn’t have mentioned it. But you can go on waiting, of course. Until we’re both too exhausted to move. Which will be quicker for you than me.” Lou glances over at me, only to stare back at the Travel America sign. “This territory is almost 200,000 square miles and has a population of 30,000. Nobody’s going to save you here.” She shouldn’t have any hope. It’s almost unthinkable that someone would come by here. Still, I need the key. Not that she falls apart in the end. If she faints from exhaustion, I can’t help her.

For a moment, it appears like she’s going to stay there, but then she apparently decides to come to her senses and scoots forward. As she stretches out the hand with the key in my direction, I can see how badly her fingers are shaking.

“You’re really not going to put me in the box?” she asks in a shaky voice.

“Nope.” I shake my head affirmatively.

“But you’re going to do something else—you said that earlier!”

“True.” I don’t avoid her eyes. I want her to trust me so badly.

“What?”

I sigh loudly. “I won’t lie to you. I hadn’t planned on keeping you chained up permanently. But I suppose I’m going to have to for a while.” That’s a big part of the truth, after all. Obviously, I was hoping to be able to do without as soon as possible, at least during the day—I wanted to get by with the bell bracelets. There is no alternative during the night.

Lou slides back and leans her back against the RV. Lost in thought, she stares up at the light blue sky, her gaze following a few crows gliding over the moss-green treetops.

Does she honestly believe someone will come and save her? How bad does it feel for her to be here with me?

I think about how hard I knocked her over and how tight and unyielding my grip had been on her neck. At that moment, I didn’t care if I hurt her because I was so angry. Even though it’s buried deep inside me, I know what it feels like to be at the mercy of someone superior; being tied up, knowing the other could theoretically do anything to you. Anything. Truly everything. This time, I’m the superior one and that feels good. It gives me security. I’m okay, but what about Lou?

Thoughtfully, I look at her, but she’s still sitting there staring at the sky.

I’m forcing her to live with me even though I can hardly stand it myself. How did my stepdad feel all the time I was locked up with him? Did it give him satisfaction? And if so, why? Why didn’t he put me in a home when my mom left? Did he need someone to torment? But I don’t want to torment Lou. And she shouldn’t be afraid of me either because otherwise, it won’t work with us.

Restless, I sit on the ground, grab two stones, and let them circle each other in the palm of my hand. The chain tinkles a delicate melody as it scrapes the raw skin with every movement. It burns like fire as splinters and dirt eat deeper into the flesh, but the pain is good. It takes my mind off what I’m doing to Lou and if I’m going to let her suffer like the monster made me suffer.

I don’t know how long I’ve been sitting like this. The sun burns my crown and back and my damp clothes dry in the heat.

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