Page 120 of Trapped: Until The Darkest Of Night

“You filthy bastard of a godless whore! I’ll kill you!” he yells at the boy. I want to grab him, but in my hands, there’s a strange jolt and pain shoots up my wrists.

“Bren?” I hear someone gasp. I look around, confused. “Bren, it’s Lou.”

“I’ll kill you,” someone yells, and I think it’s the monster screaming at the boy.

“No,” whispers a girl’s voice in front of me. “You will not. You love me!”

Suddenly, there is the picture of the blonde woman again, of my Little Miss Sunshine. Warmth and sadness wash over my heart. It feels as if it has been broken multiple times, I miss her so much.

“You left me,” I say miserably. “You left…it was so dark…do you know what it was like, there, underground…”

“Yes. I know.” That’s Lou. I understand she’s somewhere in my darkness. She speaks to me tentatively, holding me tight like I wanted to hold the boy. “Everything was quiet. You were alone. In every pause between two heartbeats, you thought you died. And when you thought you were dead, you were still alone. Even when you were outside again. You longed for your mother’s arms, but she never came back.”

“How could you leave me?” It’s not my mom. I know deep down, but the words come anyway. And with them a feeling of loneliness so vast that there is no word for it. Cold creeps into my marrow, making me shiver. It’s as if my bones could break one by one. I want to scream but I remain silent. I can’t even raise my hand to reach out to Lou.

“Maybe…maybe she didn’t leave you,” I hear her say and I cling to her voice like I’ve unconsciously done so many times before. “Something could have happened to her, too. Maybe someone kidnapped her. Maybe whoever did this to you also made sure she didn’t find you. Or that she’d never come back.”

The words dance around me in a black-and-white fog. I understand the content, but I can’t sort it. It’s just so good to hear her voice. It’s like she takes the cold out of my limbs. I squint a few times to clear my vision and spot Lou. She is lying on her back on the ground. Strange. Why is she on the ground?

I shake my head in bewilderment. “Lou?” My throat is itchy and I’m hoarse. “What are you doing here?”

Lou lets out a dry sob. “Bren, thank God…” Did I knock her over? Is that why she’s on the ground?

Her gaze wanders over me, fear and worry reflected in it.

“You’re hurt,” she says breathlessly, pointing to my wrists. I follow her gesture and discover dark red blood oozing from under the iron rings trickling into my palms. She’s on the ground worried that I’m hurt!

“Better me than you,” I answer curtly, yanking at the chain, but I hardly feel the pain. The other colder pain inside me is much stronger and I feel it more every second. At the same time, my field of vision shrinks into a tunnel again.

So dark, I hear the boy whimper. So dark…get me out of here!

I peer anxiously at Lou, thinking of Jordan Price. In any case, I must not knock her down again. “You have to go back inside immediately,” I instruct her.

“No.” Lou pulls herself to her feet and staggers.

I can’t breathe…can’t…

“Let me stay with you.” Lou could have said it or I could have said it myself to the boy. Again, I hear those terrifying screams, half man, half battered beast. I have to get away from here. Bent over, I stumble forward, wood shattering around me. A man’s ragged breath fills the darkness.

“Brendan…”

Wildly, I spin in circles, catch a glimpse of a specter, and blink into the night. Lou is only a few steps away from me between the dark trees. Again, her brightness reminds me of a little ghost. So delicate and translucent. She looks at me, deep inside me. She knows everything. She is afraid and yet she is here. She didn’t let me down. Come to me, Lou, I want to whisper, I never want to hurt you again, but I’m motionless, unable to speak or move. I need all my strength to stay in the here and now.

As if she could hear my thoughts, she takes a tiny step toward me. And another. Like back at the lake.

Hold me, Lou! Hold me and never let go! Never again.

I want to pull her toward me, but my body won’t respond. And my mind knows it’s too dangerous and I’d have to yell at her to make her walk away. But Lou is so close that we touch. With a soft gasp, she wraps her arms around me and her head lands against my chest.

The longing to feel her is stronger than reason. I drown, fly, fall. My consciousness sinks downward to the boy and my heart fills with pity when I find him in torn pants in the dark hole. He is so small. He has waited so long for salvation and even longer for love. He’s not worthless, merely lonely, confused, and scared to death. It’s not his fault his parents didn’t want him. It is not his fault he was tortured and abused. He is a good man.

“Hey, Bren,” I say quietly.

He looks up at me wide-eyed. “You came back,” he whispers and the disbelief with which he says it makes my heart ache.

“I won’t leave you alone anymore,” I promise. “I can take care of you now. You just have to come with me, to my time.” I give him my hand, and with a scared look, he places his small one in my big one. His fingers are stiff from the cold, the contact awkward as if he doesn’t know how to touch me.

“You’re doing great,” I say with a smile.

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