Page 97 of Trapped: Until The Darkest Of Night

“Nothing is going to happen,” I murmur dully, knowing what she’s thinking.

As if she understood me, she keeps her head still. I climb over her legs, quickly unlace her shoes, and pull them off her feet along with her socks.

Her right ankle is badly swollen and dark blue. I wrap my hand around her toes, feeling like I’m reaching into a freezer. “Oh, goddamn, what the fuck!” Cursing under my breath, I pull off her wet jeans and panties. Rather randomly, my gaze darts over her naked body, but I’m far too worried to think of anything else. I take my clothes off, too, keeping only my boxer shorts on—the only piece of clothing still dry. Then, I crawl into the sleeping bag next to Lou and zip it all the way up.

It immediately gets warmer and I realize how cold I have been all this time. I carefully inch toward Lou and roll her onto her side to pull her close to me, so close I can feel her freezing back against my stomach.

With a tormented gasp, she tries to crawl away from me, but I won’t let her. Gently, but firmly, I bring her back.

“I know you don't like this, but it has to be done.” Her body is still icy. Her bare bottom presses against my abdomen through my embrace and I smell her wet hair. It smells of rain with a hint of lemon. Goose bumps trickle down my spine, but I don’t know if it’s caused by Lou’s freezing body temperature or her proximity.

For a moment, she lies still as if she has surrendered to her fate. It must be terrible for her: completely naked and so close to me that not even a piece of paper would fit between us.

I beg my body not to have thoughts of its own. Tense, I listen to her breathing, which becomes more and more hectic before she tries to slide away from me a second time.

“Relax.” I put one leg over her, which is just enough to immobilize her. Moreover, I don’t feel her bottom as intensely any longer.

Good! Better! Definitely better!

In the crowded sleeping bag, I reach for her arms and cross them over her chest so she doesn’t feel so vulnerable. “Just relax. You are hypothermic. Another hour and you wouldn’t have made it.”

Lou takes a few deep breaths as if trying to calm herself. I don’t know how much she even understands. I’m about to say something else when I hear a faint slippery sound.

Of course! Grey! How could I have forgotten him. Previously, he was warming himself by the fire, but now he seems to feel left out and happily licks Lou’s face. I scold him briefly and then let him crawl into our sleeping bag. He immediately snuggles up to Lou’s side and whines. It sounds a bit reproachful, like he’s asking her why she left him, and Lou sobs. The sound pierces my core and awakens a strange longing in me.

I pull my arms around her like ropes, feeling her back against my stomach. The relief of having found her suddenly washes over me like a monumental wave.

“Everything will be fine, Lou,” I say quietly, only now realizing how exhausted I am. Every muscle is on fire and my skull is pounding in time with my pulse. “All is well. I’ve found you. You’re okay.” My throat is so tight again I can barely speak. As if a million tears were blocking it. “I won’t hurt you. I won’t touch you. I merely want to keep you warm, that’s all.”

I am so unspeakably glad that nothing happened to her. So incredibly glad my prayers were answered for once. I want to scream out loud to get rid of all the tension, but I stay still and press my cheek against Lou’s hair. I feel her muscles relaxing and her body softening against mine. In this tiny, tiny slice of my life, everything is perfect for the first time. It’s not only because I’m holding Lou in my arms, so intimately, gently, and close, but because today feels like I’ve done something right for the first time.

I lie there for a long time, my body a shell around hers, and listen to the night. The fire crackles next to us and the tarp flaps in the wind. In the far distance, barely audible, a few coyotes bark in the deep forest. I think of nothing but this moment. Maybe this is happiness. At least that’s how I imagine it. In this moment, there is no room for doubt, Jordan Price, or Thorson Ave, this moment is just the way it is and it’s perfect.

Lost in thought, I breathe into Lou’s hair believing she’s asleep, when she stirs in my arms.

“Bren…” Her hoarse whisper vibrates against my chest. “Thank you. Thank you for saving me…”

At first, I can’t reply at all. I’m afraid that the bittersweet pain, this intense longing for her, will tear me apart. I take a few deep breaths.

“It was nothing, Lou,” I whisper back, pulling her even closer to me. Suddenly, I have this insane feeling that I am connected to her by something as large as fate. It’s like I’ll always find her again if she’s lost to me. As if we both belong together and as if we’ve even known each other long before. Like Lou was mine before I found her and I have belonged to her for as long as I can remember. Even back on Thorson Ave.

If I hadn’t thought of the word girls’ hearts on that icy winter day by the lake, I might have found Lou at a different time. Or she me. Just as two parts of a whole always come together, as if following an unwritten law. Perhaps we are also like two sides of a coin, fundamentally different, yet one. Two expressions of one thing, like laughter and crying, or light and dark.

Or maybe I’m merely too tired and too happy to see things as they are.

Despite being exhausted, I don’t allow myself to sleep so I can monitor Lou’s condition. Eventually, she grows restless, wriggling and shaking in my arms.

“Bren…cold…” she murmurs, half asleep. Her teeth chatter. “C-cold.”

I hold her tighter and soothingly stroke her arms that are crossed in front of her chest.

“It’s okay, Lou. The tremor is a good sign. Your body is reacting to the cold again, waking up. It’ll be over soon.”

She nestles into my embrace like she trusts my every word. Again, I feel so strange, as if this is all a sweet, yet at the same time, almost frightening dream.

When I’m certain she’s sound asleep, I crawl out of the sleeping bag. It is as bitterly cold as at the beginning of winter. I quickly put on my change of clothes and slip into my dried jacket, then I carefully put Lou in a thick sweater.

I find a large rock, place it on the flames, and use its surface as a stovetop to boil water for tea and oatmeal. Nothing greasy, otherwise her body will lose heat again through digestion.

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