Page 63 of Trapped: Until The Darkest Of Night

Her refusal to eat leaves me feeling powerless. I have now realized that I would not force her to eat. A few days ago, I would have done it, but not now and I can’t say exactly why.

I pull the meat off the leg with my teeth and frantically try to figure out how to get Lou to eat her food. To eat at all.

Gloomily, I study her. She’s undone her ponytail again, and because of the high humidity tonight, the strands of her chin-length hair are frizzing. Our eyes meet for a moment and she looks at me with a guilty expression.

She looked at me—guiltily!

I’m the reason for her lack of appetite.

Maybe she’ll respond to a deal. So, I’ll finally tell her exactly where we are, after all, she keeps asking me. But, for that, she has to eat.

But what am I going to do tomorrow? And the day after tomorrow? I look at her again. She is only the shadow of the girl who fascinated me so much last winter. The image of the newspaper article flashes in front of me—the one in which she is wearing the coral-colored blouse, like today, and is standing under an apple tree, laughing. And suddenly I know what deal I can offer her.

Very fair, Brendan, really now?

Angry at myself, I throw the gnawed bone into the fire, get up, and take the file with the newspaper articles about Lou’s disappearance from the closet. After that, I go back to the campfire and sit in the chair with feigned composure with the folder on my thighs.

“These are the newspaper articles I told you about. The ones on your disappearance,” I explain calmly.

Lou’s lower jaw drops as if she is catching flies.

“You didn’t believe I had them.” When I look at her, I suppress a smile and something like triumph creeps into my self-contempt. I find that even more despicable.

Lou sits there, frozen. “No.” All kinds of emotions flash through her eyes. In the light of the fire, they look like a raging sea that repeatedly crashes against the same cliff in vain, unable to overcome it.

I lean toward her a bit, feeling the heat of the flames on my face. “There are pictures of your brothers in the paper,” I say. “One of them looks a lot like you. Avery, I think.” It must pierce her heart, but I’ll be damned if I can’t get her to eat like this.

Lou swallows noisily and I feel like the biggest piece of shit in the world. The monster might have been right.

“Eat today and I’ll let you read the first article. You’ll get the next one tomorrow…if you eat three meals.”

The corners of Lou’s mouth drop. For a moment, I think she’s about to cry, but then a tremor runs through her body. She inhales and shudders. “Blackmailing me with those articles isn’t fair,” she says calmly, staring at the folder on my lap. “You know how important they are to me.”

Suddenly, there is a lump in my throat, and somehow, everything feels wrong. “I’m not expecting a whole lot in return.” My voice is rough. “Not even a smile.”

Lou juts her chin out defiantly. “It’s still blackmail.”

“I’m not a good person. I told you. Hell, I kidnapped you. Blackmail is nothing in comparison.”

Without taking her eyes off me, Lou grabs the cheese toast and bites off a huge piece of it. She just gnaws on it for a few seconds, swallows, then pops the other half in her mouth almost all at once. She’s still looking at me, unruly and provocative.

“If you puke everything up again, it doesn’t count,” I say firmly, but I can’t completely hide my concern in the tone of my voice.

Lou pushes the entire lemon cookie in and swallows without chewing, only to start coughing violently.

I curse, jump up, and slap her hard on the back. It takes at least two minutes for her to calm down.

“Choking doesn’t count either.” The softness of my voice is disconcerting and I rest my hand between her shoulder blades a little too long before pulling away.

I go back to my chair, open the file, and examine the contents. “Do you want the first article I have?”

She nods. Her eyes are still glassy from coughing.

I search for the article. I know it almost by heart, I’ve read it so many times during the first few days.

MISSING LOUISA STILL UNACCOUNTED FOR

I hand Lou the piece of paper. She immediately stretches out her hand, but I’m not yet letting go.

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