Page 31 of Trapped: Until The Darkest Of Night

I slip a hand under her hip and pull her out with a jerk. Only now do I realize how much her body still suffers from the drugs. Her muscles are completely limp. Standing over her, I roll her onto her stomach and pull her up on all fours, one arm above and one arm below her chest. Despite the situation, I can’t help but feel a tingle run down my spine as I hold her and she squirms in my grip. I can feel her warm skin through the sweaty fabric, smell her sweat, the fleeting residue of Nivea lemon.

I’ll never let you go, Lou.

I feel like shit. I am a shit! Can’t I think of something normal in her presence?

A second later, she pukes on her hands. A green liquid spreads across the PVC floor. Without thinking, I hold her with one arm wrapped around her and bundle her long hair into a ponytail.

“That’s from the chloroform. It won’t last long.”

She flinches and vomits again.

It’s my fault for giving her those wretched drugs. On the other hand, it doesn’t help any of us if I feel bad about it.

After a few minutes, she is even more exhausted than before and hangs in my grasp like a rag doll.

I clear my throat so she doesn’t startle when I say something. “I’m going to put you on the bed now. That’s all,” I add quickly, feeling her flaccid muscles tighten.

With a single jerk, I pick her up and lower her onto the down comforter. As I look at her from above, my insides cramp. The tingling on my back gives way to an uneasy feeling of fear.

Her cheeks are as white as snow and barely stand out against the flaxen hair. She turns her head in my direction without seeing me.

Stop being afraid! I want to scream, but can’t get a sound out. She clutches the blanket with her hands, every muscle tense. Her petite body just continues to tremble. And on. And on.

“Do you need to use the bathroom?” I ask, mainly to say something normal.

She flinches again, shaking her head. At least it’s a different reaction rather than screaming and trembling.

“Tell me when you do and I’ll help you.”

Hesitantly, her gaze wanders up to me and gets stuck on my face. Fear flickers like heat in her eyes. What does she remember? What does she still know and what has she forgotten?

I think of her hug, her cheek against my stomach, her arms around my waist. Everything in me contracts. There is a need within me that burns with an intensity that makes me dizzy. I want her so bad, my brain is in a haze.

At some point, I realize how intensely I am staring at her. I quickly look away. At least that’s what you do with shy or wounded animals. And Lou simply reminds me of a wounded deer that can’t escape.

“I’ve put you on the toilet a couple of times. Don’t you remember?” I get back on topic to break the silence between us.

Another shake of the head, then she closes her eyes. Maybe she’s not able to keep them open yet or she just doesn’t want to look at me.

I take a step toward her and consider taking her pulse, but then she might start to hyperventilate.

Can one die of fear?

I wouldn’t know. There were times I wish I could have.

I look down at Lou for a while, completely at a loss as to what to do to lessen her fear.

When I bump the covers, the down crackles and Lou opens her eyes wide again as if the sound were a harbinger of violence. “I’d give you something to drink, but I can’t for twenty-four hours after the anesthesia,” I say awkwardly.

I look at her and she looks at me like I’m a five-headed alien about to perform horrific experiments on her. “It would be too dangerous,” I continue. “You might pass out again and choke on your own vomit.”

Her lips are trembling. She turns her head to the other side.

I take a deep breath and exhale through my nose. “Lou, I know you’re probably scared, but I’m not going to hurt you. I promise.”

She presses her dirty, wet fist to her mouth tightly. Again, she convulses. She’s so miserable lying on this bed that it hurts to look at her.

I can’t suppress a sigh. “Okay, I’ll leave you be for now. You’ll just have to see for yourself that I’m going to keep my word.”

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