Page 24 of Trapped: Until The Darkest Of Night

But maybe that’s not enough. Lou hesitates, peering cautiously into the living area as if I’m hiding a monster there. She glances at me. There’s a strange, pleading look in her eyes as if she suspects something but doesn’t want to admit it. I try to overplay her suspicions with a smile and remember my strategy. Feign retreat. I take a deep breath and a step back.

“Hey, I’m Bren, not Jack,” I say, feigning ease. Hopefully that takes the wind out of her sails.

“Jack?”

She can’t be that stupid! I raise my hands theatrically, carefully so as not to bang the lanterns together. “The Ripper,” I explain, grinning, and clumsily stuff the car keys into my pocket.

Lou laughs. I think I’ve finally convinced her now.

To be on the safe side, I back down for appearances’ sake, this time only symbolically. “We could walk if you’d prefer. It’s kind of far, but I understand if you…”

“No, it’s fine.” Lou shakes her head vigorously as if I shouldn’t see her doubts. She probably doesn’t want me to think of her as an anxious little girl. She’s trying to please me. This touches me deeply, and for a few seconds, I feel lost. Lonelier than ever, I’m not sure why. Maybe because she makes it so easy for me, because she’s so damn naive and believes in the good in me—something I’ve failed at for a long time.

As she climbs the steps, I only look at her blonde hair. Her blonde hair that captured me that first minute. A storm of sensations races through me and I take a few deep breaths. Just don’t flash. Don’t let your feelings get to you. No pity. Nothing.

I just have to do it. The sooner, the better. After all, I didn’t prepare for months to be sidetracked by her trusting bliss at the crucial moment. Maybe she’s doing it on purpose. Maybe that’s why she’s smiling oh-so-innocently all around. Ha!

The thought makes me angry. I follow her, and when I pull the door shut with determination, it’s as if I’m shutting out all my emotions as well. That’s it! Just stop feeling sorry for her or this will go belly-up!

Step by step, I go up the stairs with the camping lamps in one hand while I fish with the other for the chloroform. Lou hasn’t turned to me yet, is still busy looking around the RV. Now she stares at the drawn curtains and pretends to be smaller than she is. Like a rabbit pretends in front of a snake that it’s not a worthwhile prey.

Wrong thought!

I stop right behind her, so close I can smell her scent. An unconventional, fresh mixture of Nivea and lemon.

I don’t know why, but I’m calm. Nothing can go wrong anymore. Carefully, I pull out the bottle and cloth and awkwardly unscrew the bottle because I’m still holding the lanterns in one hand. It’s taking longer than it should.

Lou is still not moving. Maybe she’s waiting for me to say something. Do you want something to drink? Do you want to sit down? Hey, do you want to jump into bed with me? As if!

Without making a sound, I unfold the cloth and saturate the fabric with the liquid. I’ve practiced this a thousand times. The contents of the bottle correspond exactly to the required quantity. It doesn’t even take three seconds, still, the chemical sweetness eats through the RV like a fire. Menacing and fast.

Lou makes herself even smaller. Images flash before me, of her turning and laughing in her white shirt in the evening light. Suddenly, I have the terrible feeling that I will lose her if I continue.

But I want her! Oh, how I want her! I shouldn’t want her, but I can’t help it.

I let go of the lanterns. As if from another plane, I hear the glass shatter.

Before Lou can react, I grab her and press her elbows to her sides. For a moment, she is still, hanging numbly in my grasp. I want to use the seconds to press the cloth over her face, but as I raise my hand, she yanks at her arms, gasping horrified. The cloth slips from my fingers. At the last moment, I clench my hand and hold it tight.

The chloroform evaporates and the heavy, sweet marzipan smell settles on my skin like glue.

Lou starts screaming. “Help!” “No!” “Please!” The back of her head crashes into my chin. Red fog settles before my eyes, triggering a tornado in my head. I pull my hand forward and press the cloth over her mouth and nose. Firmly.

I’m sorry, Lou, I whisper in the darkness of my mind. I’m sorry, but nothing has been more necessary than this. I never want to lose you again.

Dazed, she digs her nails into my thighs in a helpless attempt to resist me. I hardly feel it, but I become aware of her condition. Her back is soaking wet and her body is shaking. She’s scared to death.

“Hold still, I’m not going to hurt you,” I say close to her ear. Out of instinct, I pull her tighter against me, but she doesn’t calm down. Instead, she kicks and catches my shin.

Automatically, I lean back a little and pick her up, her feet thrashing in the air like a fish out of water. I feel her back against my stomach and the pounding of her heart. I press the cloth even harder against her face, wanting it to be over. I mentally count the seconds. Twenty-one. It takes too long. Twenty-two. Much too long. I can hear her whimpering behind the cloth. At twenty-three she rears up again, but this time she collapses mid-movement, going limp.

All right, she’ll be gone any moment now. You’re almost there, Lou!

“I won’t hurt you, don’t worry,” I whisper again, praying she believes me. At least she will take these words with her into her deep sleep. A second later, she finally collapses.

Chapter

Seven

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