Page 122 of Trapped: Until The Darkest Of Night

“Bren, don’t…” There’s that voice again. I hear it as if a dream.

“You’re nothing, little bastard. Nothing. Ash and dust. I could kill you and no one would know. Nobody would miss you.”

His words burn inside me as does the pressure of his fingers on my throat. For seconds, I wish he would kill me, but I know he won’t because then he won’t be able to torment me anymore. As I whimper helplessly, his face twists into a sneering mask. “I’ll put you in a coffin and bury you in the backyard. This time, though, I won’t free you. You can shit your pants in there all you want and die in your own filth. How would you like that?” His cold gray eyes regard me like a hungry predator. “Answer me!”

“Bren…stop…you’re…not…him…” Someone sobs. Who is that?

“Your pathetic whimpering won’t help you now, you weakling!” I hear the monster roar. Or am I yelling? Out of reflex, I grip my hand tighter around something I’m holding.

“Bren…” A hand tugs at my fingers. “I love you…please come back to me!”

My body freezes. That’s Lou, isn’t it? Confused, I try to fight the images in me. These are only memories, says a voice inside me. Only memories. It’s over, you said so yourself.

Deep inside me, my mom smiles at me and a tremendous longing grabs me. Make a wish! she says softly.

“Do…not…leave…me! Come back!”

My heart clenches. Lou is crying. Now I can hear it clearly. “Please…come back.” Where is she? I shake my head to get a clearer picture. “Brendan, please…”

Suddenly, she appears in front of me, very close. Why is she crying and why is she saying not to leave her? “I’m with you, Lou,” I whisper harshly. Then my eyes notice my hand that is wrapped around her throat. The shock is so great that I want to fall to my knees. I’m grabbing her by the throat and choking her like the monster choked me! God, don’t let anything happen to her! As gently as if her neck were glass and my hand concrete, I withdraw my fingers.

Lou’s legs sag, but I catch her and hug her. With horror, I notice the red imprint of my hands on her skin. She is so still, so terribly pale, with panic reflected in her eyes.

“Lou, say something, please…” I beg her.

Panting, she clutches my upper arms while tears run down her cheeks. She tries to smile but fails. You don’t have to be brave, I want to whisper, but I can’t get a word out because the second smile works.

Something is shattering me into a thousand pieces. How can she smile? I shake my head dumbly. “Forgive me…Lou…” I murmur. “I won’t allow you to do this again!” I brush tears from her cheeks with my fingertips.

Lou blinks, seemingly only now recognizing me. “It wasn’t that bad,” she whispers, exhausted. Her voice sounds raspy.

I clench my jaw until my joints hurt. “You’re lying. You’re shaking like crazy.”

“I’m merely cold.”

“Lou, my hand was around your throat and you say it wasn’t that bad?” I lift her chin. Despite the darkness, I can make out the finger streaks running around her throat. “Fucking shit!” I blurt out angrily. “You can’t be with me when I’m freaking out. This is madness. Just believe me!”

“I believe you, but I’ll do it anyway,” Lou says adamantly. “Besides, you came back—that’s all that matters.”

I bend down to her until my forehead is against hers. Her breath brushes my chin and all I want to do is protect her. “I won’t let you put yourself in danger again.”

“You have to.” She punches my chest teasingly with her fist. “You’re the one chained to the tree like a dog on a leash, not me.”

I laugh, but it sounds tired and lacks amusement. “Then at least let me carry you to the fire.” I bend down and put one arm behind her back and the other behind her knees. She is light, but my body feels as if it had lain in the lonely coffin for ten days without food or water. My legs are shaking, but I make it to the fire with the clinking chain. I carefully set Lou down and drop to the ground behind her. I slide close to her, my legs to the right and left of her to warm her from all sides. Her back leans against my stomach.

Wearily, she rests her head against my chest and puts her hands on my arms. We sit there like two halves that broke apart and have now been painstakingly put together.

“Don’t ever let go of me, Lou. Never again,” I say in a whisper.

“I won’t,” Lou whispers back.

We are both silent for a while when I hear the wolf pack howling in the distance. At that moment, it no longer sounds lonely but simply primal and wild.

I stroke Lou’s hair with shaky fingers, realizing again how vulnerable she is. I know she wants to stay with me during the flashes and prove her love to me, but I can’t let that go on. “When the next attack comes, keep your distance, understand?” I say, twisting a strand of her hair around my finger.

“Bren…”

“Promise me!” I interrupt her before she can say more than my name. Maybe it’s the desperation in my voice that makes her nod. I am immensely relieved.

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