Page 7 of Taking It Off

I wake from the strange dream with Will still wrapped around me. I’m surprised the nightmare didn’t wake him. It’s always violent and usually leaves me shaking. This time I’m calm, and I think it has to do with Will’s presence.

It’s both comforting and disturbing to have him here. I can’t be upset with him; I asked him to stay. If I’m honest with myself, I want him here. I want all three of them here. But it’s not fair to them for me to be that selfish. I should let them go so they don’t get tangled up in my drama. My life is no place for love, or anything resembling it.

Looking at the alarm clock, I realize that I slept later than I’d expected. I have only twelve hours left to make my decision. With the knowledge that this guild is a life-long commitment, and they’ll kill me if I accept and try to leave, I know I need to consider my options carefully. This isn’t an offer I’ll get again if I refuse. But am I ready to join a group like this? I’m not sure. What I do know is that this decision will be life changing. There’s no turning back, no matter what I decide.

I reach out with my powers and check my phone while setting an alarm for eleven-thirty tonight. If I haven’t made my final decision by then, I’ll at least have time to get back here if I want to go through with it. I have texts from Luke and Jeremy. Neither knows where Will is, and they’re concerned because he doesn’t ever leave without a note or message.

Will is with me. We’re fine. Nap time ran longer than expected. I’ll send him home as soon as he wakes up. When I get their responses, I realize the mistake I’ve made.

Wait, Will is in your apartment right now? Jeremy asks.

I didn’t think we were allowed in your apartment! What the hell? Luke is clearly upset, and I know I’m going to have to make it up to both of them later.

I couldn’t sleep, and he was the only one up. We can have a slumber party here later. Okay? I don’t want them to think I care about Will more than I do them. I hope they all understand that I need different things from time to time, and they’ll each get time alone with me. I don’t want to text all that, though, so I figure we can talk about it tonight at dinner. We’re still on for dinner, right?

Of course. Have you decided which option you’d like? Shit. I forgot I was supposed to pick where we go tonight.

Surprise me? I hope Jeremy doesn’t get upset at my lack of desire to choose. I just don’t have a preference between pizza, bar food, and the fancy restaurant. I’d be happy just hanging out at home with them. Did I just mentally refer to their apartment as home? Fuck, I’m more screwed than I realized. I’ve let myself get more attached than I planned. Is this what I want? Why do they seem to get to me no matter how much I hold back?

With dinner mostly taken care of, I snuggle back in against Will. The warmth of his body eases my anxiety about the nightmares I had this morning while we slept. I can’t think about what he said to me as I was falling asleep. I have bigger things to consider right now.

Should I accept the guild invite? Best case, I have a job for life. And I spend that life killing men who deserve it. Maybe women too, I don’t really know. They clearly know about me, and claim that they won’t send marks I would be against killing. But how can I trust a faceless organization that I’ve never heard of?

Worst case, I let this opportunity pass me by. It’s not like I actually need the money. I’ve amassed a small fortune since my first kill at thirteen. In some ways it was easier when I was young. I could infiltrate the rings from the inside and take them all out. Now I have to play the part that I no longer fit into. I’m capable and stealthy, though, so it hasn’t stopped me yet.

After Will wakes up, I try not to rush him to leave. I have another job to start and would prefer to do my cam work when he’s not around. I know they’ve all seen my general subscription stream, but the one-on-ones are a little different. I don’t need an audience for that.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come upstairs with me?” he asks. It’s hard to resist his sweet smile, but I have to work. Okay, I don’t have to work, but I want to. My mission in life is bigger than our relationship.

“I’ve gotta get ready for work. And I can’t have you down here distracting me. I’ll see you guys for dinner.” I kiss him, then give him a little shove toward the door. Reluctantly, he leaves. I lock the door and head to the bathroom to get dressed and put on my makeup.

When I have everything just the way I want, I pull my wig on and comb the hot pink curls into place. I stroll out of the bedroom in the lace babydoll with a matching satin robe over it. My aesthetic today is candy colored, because this mark prefers younger girls. I’m sure that’s why I relived how I got here in my dreams this morning; I was anticipating this moment. I have to pretend to be what my father had hoped I’d become when he sold me for a profit.

I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and remind myself that I am in control here. I can back out of this job at any time. I decide where the video call goes, and I have the power to shut it down if things get uncomfortable. I am not the helpless underage girl I’m portraying. I cannot let myself forget that.

I settle myself on the bed and switch on my cameras. A few settings tweaked, and the screen shows everything around me a sweet candy pink, contrasting with the hot pink wig and nightie I’m wearing. Big_Dick_73 (what kind of username is that anyway?) should be here any minute. I don’t know his real name, nor do I need to. My dark web contacts mysteriously referred him to me because of his eclectic tastes in cam videos.

My mark is on time, and research begins slowly. This time he’s calling from his office, which is one of the places I need to access. I establish a link easily, and we schedule another call for next week. He’s anxious to see me again, wanting more time today. Why do they always want more? I can’t indulge him, though, insisting that I have other clients who are expecting me. When I promise to wear his favorite shade of blue next time, he finally agrees. I hold back a sigh, knowing that the next call will be the last time I see him. Well, except for when I take his life.

As soon as the call ends, I sneak into his computer and find the files I’m looking for. With that finished, I can focus on my decision at hand, and figuring out what to wear for my dinner date.

I’m not asking where we’re going tonight (I meant it when I said ‘surprise me’) But I do need to know what to wear…jeans, a dress, what?

While I’m waiting for a response, I shower, cleaning all the body glitter and makeup off, then dressing in lounge clothes. I flop on my bed and pull out the invitation. The vibrant red letters stare up at me as I remove the black paper from the envelope once more.

It’s mesmerizing to look at, and I wonder again how the guild managed to deliver this invitation. Someone was inside my apartment but didn’t get caught by my security system. I dash from my bed to the small hidden room inside my cam space. Once inside, I pull up the video feeds from last night. Sure enough, there was a brief period of time when my system was taken offline while I was delivering the proof of Davis being finished. But it wasn’t long enough for someone to get from the door to my bedroom and back. This still doesn’t make sense.

Interesting. This guild must be pretty powerful if they can infiltrate my apartment with all of its security and not get caught. Seventeen hidden cameras, and nothing. That reminds me; I should probably delete the footage of Will and me from earlier. He wasn’t aware of the cameras, and I didn’t think to ask him if it was okay to record.

I watch the video before I delete it. Of course, watching it after brings up all the feelings from during, and I end up taking matters into my own hands. I rub my clit and finger myself until I come, then delete the footage. I make a mental note to ask the guys later how they feel about being recorded, though. I know it will lead to more questions and I’ll have to explain that I have an intricate security system. I don’t know how I’ll convince them that it’s a perfectly normal thing to have that many cameras hidden in this small of an apartment, but that’s a later me problem.

With that problem solved, I lock the hidden room back up and stroll back to the bedroom. I have a few hours until our date, so I flop back on the bed and stare at the invitation again. I wish there was a clear answer here. Sometimes having free will is frustrating. It’s my decision, and I have to make it. I don’t have anyone to discuss the pros and cons with, so it’s all on me.

I make a mental list, again. Pros: lifelong work, taking out people who deserve it, good pay. Cons: no retirement, being hunted down if you fuck up. That’s about as simple as I can make it. If only I knew who sent the invite, I’d have someone I could ask all the questions that are bouncing around in my brain.

None of that really matters. Being worried about my guys won’t change things. Wait, my guys? Fuck, I’m in deeper than I thought. If I’m already thinking of them as mine, it may be too late to walk away. Can I break my own heart just to protect them? I don’t know.

I don’t really know what love feels like. No one has been kind to me since my mother died—until I met Jeremy, Will, and Luke. It was instant attraction, and a seamless bond. We’ve been hanging out for months, but we talked about it and agreed that it needed to stay casual. Their fathers are important businessmen and wouldn’t appreciate a scandal of their sons all being involved with the same woman. And I’m terrified of commitment.

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