Page 42 of Blood Lost

I hoped that we could get back to normal once we were back in the city. I would still be hiding out until we had the proof that we needed to clear me, but it wouldn’t feel so much like hiding. I trusted my guys to figure out who this kingpin guy was and why he was after me. As much as I wanted to do it myself, I knew it was better if I stayed out of sight. We couldn’t risk giving the hunters any more ammunition against me.

I knew that once we got moving today, everything would be a blur. I needed to enjoy being outside as much as I could since I had no idea when I would get to do it again. It wasn’t fair, but it also wasn’t my guys’ fault. I refused to act like a spoiled child who didn’t get her way, throwing a tantrum because this wasn’t what I wanted. Even if I really wanted to. I steeled myself against the feeling of dread that pushed at me. Part of me wanted to stay here, even though I knew it wasn’t safe.

Declan was pissed and hurt that his friend would betray him by putting a tracker in his car. That’s probably how they figured out what I’d done. If you think about it, tracking your best friend is brilliant, especially after you find out he’s turned someone without going through the proper channels. They could kill me for that alone. Dec is sure they won’t; he’ll just have to pay some huge fine, and I’ll have to sign some documents that normally would have been taken care of with my application. I wasn’t certain it would be that easy, especially after I lost control and killed a girl.

I still couldn’t believe I had killed someone. My heart broke every time I thought about it. I knew it wasn’t my fault. The drugs made me more aggressive than usual. I knew I was still responsible. No matter how many times the guys blamed the drug, I knew that a monster was inside of me. When the memory of it came rushing back to me, I realized that I enjoyed draining that girl. I got high on taking her life. It was wrong and horrible, but it was true. I was a monster. My guys didn’t have to agree with me. I could never tell them that I enjoyed killing. That had to be my secret. They’d never look at me the same way again if they knew.

I showered and prepared to leave this place behind. I wished that I could leave the sense of dread behind as well. None of them mentioned it if my guys noticed that I was distracted and withdrawn. I felt like we were all balancing on the edge. If we weren’t careful, we’d fall and there would be no way to recover. I hated feeling so helpless. I remembered that feeling from when I was human. That day in the park, when a vampire had tried to attack me. If Eli hadn’t been there, I probably wouldn’t be here now. And all I did was run away. I was nothing but a terrified blood sack back then. I would never go back to that again. I would fight with everything I had to keep my guys safe and protect our family.

We loaded the SUV silently. There wasn’t much to pack. Eli had a backpack and I had two. Vik insisted that we take a few blood bags with us, even though there weren’t many left here. Scott would be able to get more before he came back here. I hated that he had to interrupt his life for my mistake. If I’d been smarter—less trusting, more focused, something—none of this ever would have happened. Vik suggested that he and I sit in the back because Kayden hadn’t seen us. The guys wanted to keep it that way. And that meant letting Vik sit with me and comfort me, even if the other two were better at it.

I didn’t think that Vik was bad at being sympathetic; I just felt like he was holding back. I didn’t understand why he couldn’t just let me in. Had he been that way when I was human too? I didn’t have enough memories of him to know for sure. We butted heads, but I felt like a lot of that was intentional. It was easier to be passionate with someone when that feeling was tied to hate than when it was tied to something vulnerable like love. I was nearly certain that no one would understand why I cared so much for him. But I saw inside of him. He was broken and needed me to help him heal. I just had to get it through his thick skull that for him to heal, he had to let me in and stop being an ass.

I was convinced that my guys thought I compared them on all levels. They seemed to compete for attention and to see who could help me with anything and everything. It was cute, but at some point, we’d have to talk about how different each of them is and how that’s why I love them. Just because Vik isn’t good at comforting doesn’t mean he’s less important to me. He’s just better at choosing a matching outfit, which Dec couldn’t do if his life depended on it. I chuckled at the thought, and Vik looked at me. “Something funny you’d like to share, Myshka?”

“I was just thinking about how different you three are. There are things you can do that the other two can’t. And they can do things you’re not good at. It’s like this amazing balancing act. I’m so lucky to have you all.” Time to push him out of his comfort zone. I scooted closer, pulling his arm around me to rest his hand on my hip. I leaned into him, snuggling up for the ride. I glanced up and had to hide my smirk at his face. Public affection was not Vik’s thing. But that’s why he had me. To push him to be better, to be more. Together, we were nearly perfect. I couldn’t help feeling that something was still missing, even though I had no idea what it could be. How could I feel lonely when all of this love surrounded me?

Eli looked at me in the mirror, and Dec reached back to hold my hand while I cuddled up with Vik. It was funny how they sensed that I needed reassurance. Eli and I had spoken about his ability, but I couldn’t remember Declan saying anything about those skills. I guess he just connected to me on that level. A few minutes later, Vik seemed to relax. For a while, I thought he was asleep. I tilted my head to look up at him and found him staring at me. “What?”

“You’re amazing. I don’t know if you realize how much you’ve changed us all. In a good way, of course. We wouldn’t survive without you.” He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. I knew he wasn’t trying to get things started, especially when the other two would be forced to watch but not participate. The kiss was sweet, and the second it was over, he turned to face the window. Was that a tear in his eye? Did I just get Vik to feel something? It felt like a huge achievement for him to have said something nice.

Chapter 51

Eli

I hated being the one who had to drive, although I understood Vik’s point. Kayden didn’t know anything about him being at the bunker with us. It made more sense to keep him hidden in the back with Delilah than to have him drive or sit up front with Declan. Not that I minded spending time with Dec; he was cool. I just wanted to be the one taking care of our girl. Vik tended to push her buttons in a bad way, and I didn’t want to have to stop the car to beat his ass. I knew it wouldn’t come to that because our girl could hold her own. He wouldn’t even know what had hit him.

I was amazed at the changes Delilah had gone through in such a short time. The store clerk’s death was unfortunate, but the fact it took drugs to make it happen said something about her level of control. Most newly turned vamps would have killed the girl when she came close enough. But not our girl. She was the most restrained vamp I’d ever met. It was amazing, and highly dangerous. Restraint was hard. Once it snapped, she’d take out dozens of people without a second thought. I hoped that we were there to get her settled when it happened. I hated the thought of what that would do to her.

I kept thinking about the nightmares she told us about. She was terrified that she was going to be taken away from us. We had to prevent that. I got lost in my thoughts for a while, then caught her eye in the mirror. Dec looked at me, and I nodded subtly. He reached back and took her hand. He felt it too. Good. She needed more than just me that could read her emotions. I’d been trying to teach Vik, but he just didn’t seem able to get it. At least he hadn’t made a big deal out of her desire to snuggle.

“So, how big is your penthouse?” Declan asked, trying to keep a conversation going to avoid the silence.

“Big enough. Slightly different setup than the bunker but with more space. Delilah won’t have her room anymore, though. I only have three bedrooms. I don’t think it’ll be a problem, given how last night went.” I glanced at him sideways and watched his cheeks turn red. He wasn’t as experienced as I had thought. Good. Delilah needed someone to go through the new stuff with her. It would help them bond.

“So, we’ll all just share a room? Do you have a bed that big?” He chuckled, looking over his shoulder at our girl again. She had fallen asleep in Vik’s lap, and he was carefully brushing her hair with his fingers. The content expression suited him.

“I can have one brought in. Why, do you have one that big?” I realized that we hadn’t even considered using his condo. We really didn’t even know that much about where he lived. I was dying to go home and just assumed everyone else would go with me. It was the most selfish thing I’d done since I tried to force Delilah to go with me the day we met. I suddenly felt like a complete ass.

“No, but I can build one.” I nodded at his offer. That wasn’t a bad idea. I wondered how long it would be before she begged us to move out of the city. I knew that all of this was taking a toll. Her eyes no longer held joy when she spoke of the city. I blamed myself. There was no reason to go shopping that day. Vik and I just wanted to make up for not saving her ourselves. It was stupid. She didn’t care that Declan was the one who changed her. She belonged to all of us by her admission, and we belonged to her. Guilt tore at my insides.

“That’s a great idea. You should get started on plans. I’ll get whatever supplies you need. There’s an entire floor below the penthouse that we can turn into a studio for you. It’ll take a couple of days, but it’s something we can do. We need to figure out a central point and buy a huge place to share.” There was something surreal about planning a future with my girl and her other guys. It should have been strange or uncomfortable, but it was perfect.

We pulled into the garage without issue. Calling ahead had saved us. My team was ready with the portable scanners and ushered us through immediately. I parked in a dark area, next to the elevator. Scott was there, waiting for us, just as planned. “Don't worry, Boss, I've got this. They’ll never suspect it's not you.” I wished his confidence was contagious. I wasn’t about to count on anything. A strange feeling of dread had taken hold of my gut as we drove. I felt like I was driving us to our doom for some reason.

“I appreciate your hard work, Scott.” I shook his hand, then ushered everyone into the elevator. The sooner we were inside with the security system activated, the better. I was more on edge than usual and I didn't know how much of it was me and how much was everyone else’s emotions. I needed a shower and a rough fuck. I knew I'd get one but doubted the other was possible. Delilah needed to settle in, not deal with men humping her like horny teenagers.

“Love, you get to decide the sleeping arrangements. Dec is taking your room. Vik and I have our rooms here. You can sleep wherever you want with whomever you want. We all agreed.”

She nodded, still holding on to Vik for support. It was obvious that this whole situation had taken a toll on her. He surprised me by not scooping her up and carrying her. I realized he was finally listening to what she wanted. At least he was still willing to adapt and change for her. I opened the door and stepped back so they could all enter. I followed behind and closed the door quietly, turning on the security system.

Chapter 52

Delilah

I walked into the dark penthouse on Vik’s arm, with Dec in front of us, and Eli behind us. I noticed the strange dancing lights in front of us but didn’t connect them with anything until it was too late. The red lights were attached to the scopes of high-powered rifles, pointed right at us. Instinctually, I raised my hands in surrender. There would be no fighting here. I wouldn’t risk any of my guys that way. “We give up. We’ll cooperate. Just don’t hurt them.” I said, getting onto my knees with my hands still up. I didn’t want to give them any excuse to start shooting.

Fear gripped me like a vice. It was written all over Dec’s face. Vik looked pissed, and Eli was more confused than anything. How had they gotten past the extra security here? I could see him asking himself. Which of his men had betrayed him? If we survived, heads would roll for this. Logically, it didn’t matter how it had happened; the outcome would be the same. I could sense a wide array of emotions coming from each of my guys. Despair was the strongest. I hoped they would follow my lead and cooperate instead of fighting. It would go against every instinct they had. I knew they would do it for me. These three men would do anything for me. I hoped I wasn’t leading them to death.

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