Page 251 of If You Give an Artist a Killer Muse

Rurik pulls away, concern all over his face. “Baby? Briar, what’s wrong?” He gently pushes me away, and his eyes rove over me from top to bottom. “Are you hurt? Fuck, did those fuckers hurt you?”

“I’m fine, Rurik,” I say as Rurik wipes my face with his thumbs. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, Briar, I’m okay,” He sighs, kissing my forehead. “Thanks to you.”

“Thanks to me?” I laugh with disbelief. I turn away and gently get out of the bed to face him. “Rurik, it’s thanks to me that you’re here in the first place.”

Rurik tries to reach for my hand, but I back away.

His face darkens. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

But I shake my head. “Those assholes got to you because of me. Your heart nearly gave out because of me.”

He tries to reach for me again, but I step back. “Stop pulling away from me, Briar.”

“No, listen to me, Rurik!”

Rurik glares at me, his lips parting like he wants to retort something.

I continue, “I… I realize that my being with you isn’t good for you. You’re not safe with me, and I’ve been so fucking selfish. I’m so sorry, Rurik.” I ignore the way his face grows red as I continue. “I can buy you and your mom tickets to return to Scotland, Rurik. You guys can go back home, away from Philip, away from me, away from all this mess. I’ll make sure you still receive the best medical treatment—”

“Briar, I need you to shut up now.”

“No, Rurik—”

“Shut the fuck up before I hop off this bed and spank the fuck out of your ass, Briar.” He tries to sit up and glares at me. “Those assholes got to me because of your greedy uncle with the help of my stepdad. My heart nearly gave out because it’s weak like it’s always been.”

“Your doctor said that you need to relax—”

“And you think I can relax without you by my side?” Rurik snaps. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Where is this coming from?”

Fuck, why is he making this so hard than it has to be? He almost died, goddamnit! He can yell at me all he wants, but I’d rather he be mad and hate me than be dead.

“Your stepdad hired my uncle to kidnap you to get to me,” I say. “I've known Philip since I was a kid.”

Rurik’s brows furrow and he blinks. “How?”

“He was a chef in our household. I knew him as Chef Greene.” I confess. “He worked for my parents for as long as I can remember until they died.”

“Did you not get along with him or something?” Rurik asks. “Was he awful to you? What did he do to you?”

I’m not in the mood to tell him more. I don’t want to talk about his involvement with Amaura’s death because when Philip said he didn’t kill her… I believe him. He didn’t kill my friend.

I did.

My dad may have been the one to end her life, and Philip was just doing his job by tossing her out like trash, but it was me who killed her. I killed her because I didn’t listen to her warnings, and I didn’t put the angel figurine away. I triggered my dad’s anger, and he took it out on her.

But that doesn’t mean I forgive Philip or anything. I still hate the guy. As for my dad? Well, I’m glad I left him in the fire to die.

“Briar?”

I blink. Rurik is watching me and waiting for an answer.

“Your stepdad, Philip, is an awful man, Rurik. I know it’s hard for you to believe because you’ve always seen him with your mom, but you deserve better.” I hesitate briefly before adding, “You deserve someone better than me.”

I killed Amaura because I was stupid and selfish.

I won’t be the cause of Rurik’s death either.

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