Page 204 of If You Give an Artist a Killer Muse

Love is such a foreign concept to me.

Is that what I’m feeling?

All I know is that my day feels so much brighter every time I see him.

He chases the darkness back to the shadows hidden in my head. When he’s not with me, I feel so empty and lonely. The thought of him being with other women fills me with jealousy.

His kisses ignite these primal desires within me and overwhelming emotions I struggle to sort through. One glance into his piercing blue eyes and my heart falters. His smiles undo me. His laughter is my addiction.

Even when he’s being an annoying little asshole like leaving his dishes overnight, when he tries to tell me what to do, making fun of my fear of spiders, leaving the toilet seat up, eating on the couch without a plate, rudely unleashing disgusting farts, leaving his dirty clothes on the floor when the laundry hamper is right there, not replacing the empty toilet paper roll — I wouldn’t change him for the world.

Fuck, is that love?

All three of us just stared at each other in silence as my confession settled between us.

Fuck.

Fuuuuuccckkkk.

“Fuck.” I whisper, staring at my friends.

“Fuck.” Oscar releases a heavy sigh.

“Fuck,” Nat echoes, her brows furrowing. Why does she look both excited and concerned at the same time?

“I love him,” I repeat. “Jesus. What does that mean?”

“What do you mean?” Oscar frowns. “You love the asshole. Have you told him?”

“No. How? I literally just realized that now.”

“Oh my god, Briar!” Nat finally squeals, throwing her arms around my neck. “I’m so happy for you! Ugh, god, I can see how happy he’s made you.”

“He’s perfect, Nat.” I couldn’t help but gush. “You were right, you know? He’s such a golden boy, and I love it.”

“Are you going to tell him?”

“How can she tell him when the whole senator issue is happening between them?” Oscar interjects disappointingly.

Our smiles vanish. I'm torn between wanting to smack Oscar for bringing this up and thanking him for trying to be realistic.

“I’m going to kill Philip,” I mumble. “Plus, destroying the senator will keep Rurik safe, right? Any potential harm won’t surround him.”

I realize what I just said sounds so fucking stupid.

“Okay Miss I-Keep-A-Dagger-With-Me-At-All-Times,” Nat says with a smirk. “It’s not like our job is harmful at all.”

I scowl. “But we don’t hurt innocent people.”

“We don’t try to.”

“Of course not.”

Nat and Oscar exchange looks before giving me their best reassuring smile.

Rurik calls me his muse. He’s my angel. I would never do anything to hurt him. I can’t.

But I can’t help but think of Nat’s insinuation. We made loads of enemies because of what we do. But Rurik will always be protected by us.

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