Page 160 of If You Give an Artist a Killer Muse

Chapter 24

Rurik

“Your heart has been beating a little too fast for my liking. Have you been more active or pushing yourself more?”

Well, Doc. Let me tell you. I fucked this beautiful woman almost every night. Sometimes the fucking goes so hard I end up blacking out seconds after reaching Kingdom Come. So yeah. I’ve been pretty active lately.

Except for the past week. It’s been a week since I’ve seen or heard from Briar.

I sigh. “I’ve been incorporating more cardio into my workouts.” I’m not technically lying.

My doctor nods, typing something on his computer. “How are the meds I gave you?”

“They’re working well.”

“Good, I’ll prescribe you a refill. You should be able to pick it up after this appointment.” He prints something off and signs it before handing it over to me. “But please, slow down, okay? I know the drugs make you feel invincible at times, but please watch it.”

“Yeah, Doc,” I grumble, hopping off the table. “Thank you.”

After leaving my doctor’s appointment, I sent my mum a quick text to let her know that I’m still alive and healthy—well, as healthy as anyone with a bad heart can be. I’m still living and breathing, so there’s that.

I don’t feel like I have been for the past week.

Not since I asked Briar to leave during my art showcase.

The regret that slammed into me after she walked away from me is something I don’t want to feel again. But I feel like I keep saying and doing the wrong shit, and one of us gets hurt. Mainly her.

After she left, my mum and stepdad arrived minutes later. Talk about perfect timing. I didn’t want Briar and my stepdad in the same space together. The day of the airport — Briar shooting at my stepdad, him calling for backup — haunted me for ages. Still does.

I’m scared of them meeting again.

I’m scared of what my stepdad will do if he finds out I’m with Briar.

I’m scared of what Briar will do if she finds out I know the masked girl is her and that the senator she was trying to shoot is my stepdad.

I’m scared that Briar will get hurt this time.

Coward.

I don’t give a shit if that makes me a coward. I refuse to let anything lead to her destruction.

This woman goes out of her way to drive me to the one place I think is my little paradise. She's the one who buys my paintings, only to donate them for others to enjoy. She's the one who pursues me, who changes me, who makes me feel things I never thought possible.

How could she ever believe I'm ashamed of her?

With the way you’ve been acting, how can she not believe it, asshole?

I groan, throwing myself on the couch after coming home. Without thinking, I open my phone and type in Briar’s username. Pictures of her fill my screen, and I’m greedy for it. No matter how much I scroll, read her captions, and the replies she gives others; I want more.

I need more.

Fuck, I’m so pathetic.

I could text her… I could be the first person to reach out first.

God, I fucking miss her.

What is she doing now? Is she thinking of me? Has she found a new person to call her angel? Is she talking to fucking Jamie now? Fuck, I hope not. She’s too good for him.

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