Page 158 of If You Give an Artist a Killer Muse

I am fine.

I am.

Everything is fine.

I swallow hard, fiddling with my empty glass, and suddenly feeling restless. I lift my hand and massage the back of my neck, sighing when the shaky sensation in my body isn’t going away.

I clear my throat, glancing over my shoulder to see Rurik staring at me. His brows scrunch together, and his lips press into a thin line. What the hell is his problem now?

Rurik doesn’t want you here.

This is supposed to be his special day, and you’re ruining it…

The edges of my vision start to darken once more.

Fuck. No. Not now.

I close my eyes.

Inhale.

Picture Rurik laughing. The time I took him to his little slice of paradise. The look on his face after we kissed.

“Are you having a good time?”

And just like that, everything brightens again. My eyes open to see Rurik standing beside me, looking at the canvas. His hair is messy, with waves covering his forehead and almost his eyes despite his hand trying to push it back. I want to stroke his hair for him and feel the smooth skin of his face against my fingers.

Jesus, I need to get a hold of myself.

“Yeah,” I say. “Are you?”

He sighs, looking around. “I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I didn’t think you would be here.”

I frown, “Why? I kept asking you about this day. I love your work. You must know I wouldn’t miss this day for the world, Rurik.”

His cheeks turn pink as he ducks his head. “Thank you, Briar.”

Adoration floods through me. He’s such a conundrum. Hot and cold. Sweet and spicy. A kind asshole.

I look around before lightly bumping our shoulders together. “Will I see you tonight?”

Rurik grimaces, bringing a hand over the back of his head and playing with his hair. “Uh, about that. I can’t tonight. Mum and my stepdad will be coming in an hour. They've been wondering where I've been since I've missed a lot of family dinners and have been M.I.A.”

I shrug. “Can’t you just tell them about us? Or at least tell them you’re with a friend? Your mom already knows about me.”

He sighs, tousling his hair some more and looking more agitated.

I froze as a thought suddenly occurred to me. “Wait, you said your parents are coming soon? Is that why you’re here talking to me while it’s quieting down? You’re asking me to leave, aren’t you?”

He looks at me with a wretched expression. “Briar…”

I stare at him.

Is it possible to feel pissed and numb at the same time?

“Why the fuck are you so against anyone knowing about us, huh? Especially your family?” I ask, crossing my arms.

Does he know I know his stepdad? Is he afraid I’m going to kill him? Nat already told me about the possibility of him coming in tonight, and we both agreed we wouldn’t do anything because it’s Rurik’s special day. Besides, I’ve been so consumed by him that I keep forgetting about the senator.

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