Page 79 of What I Should Have Done

“Mmmmm, sleep sounds nice,” I muttered.

And I could’ve sworn he said something about how I could dream about his cock right before the world slipped away.

“Hey, Scotch.” The muffled tones of a deep voice roused me slowly from my slumber. Never before had sleep felt so comfortable. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d woken up so rested, despite all of the crap that had gone down.

Protesting, I groaned and tucked myself tighter against Mikey.

Gentle shaking joined the repeated statement. “Scotch, baby.”

My heart skipped a beat. Baby? A cacophony of both euphoria and dread swirled in my stomach. I hated how much I loved the tenderness with which he spoke the simple word. I hated that I wanted him to say it again, knowing that we were destined for catastrophe.

“You gotta wake up,” Mikey said gently.

“Mmmmm,” I hummed in reply, finally prying open my puffy, dry eyes.

“Ten minutes until you need to go rouse Bernie for watch,” Mikey explained in a whisper.

Stitching my brows together, I peeled my cheek off Mikey’s chest. “Ten minutes…” I muttered, smacking my lips together. Didn’t that mean I could’ve slept for at least eight more? Or cuddled for at least five.

Then reality slammed into me like the RPG to our annihilated buggy.

My eyes flew wide. “Bernie’s watch?” I gasped, startled. “Ten minutes until Bernie’s watch?” Disbelief soared through my veins. He’d let me sleep right through my shift. Mikey didn’t complain, didn’t even try to rouse me from my slumber, and simply stayed awake as I blissfully remained unaware of the possibility of danger.

Suddenly, unexpected anger sizzled beneath the disbelief. What right did Mikey have, deciding whether or not I was in the right state of mind to effectively keep watch?

“I’ll sneak on down, then you come ten minutes later and trade out Bernie, okay?” Mikey carefully slid his legs out from under me, guiding me with a soft plop to the sandy floor.

“How dare you,” I hissed.

I knew I shouldn’t have confessed to Mikey that I was scared. It made me look weak, and he chose to let me skip my watch because he didn’t believe I could handle it after the shit that happened with Merlin.

“Excuse me?” He paused, still squatted beside me. Confusion twisted his features. Shadows deepened over his eyes beneath his primal brow bones.

“You had no right assuming that I couldn’t handle watch!” I pushed off of the ground, slicing a glare at him.

“What are you talking about?” he asked, rising with me.

Ramming a finger into his chest, I huffed in anger. “I confessed to you that I was scared because of that asshole, and you used it against me. I’m not weak, so—”

“I don’t think… Wait, what the fuck are—”

“Don’t cut me off,” I snapped, dropping my hand from his chest and crossing my arms.

“You interrupted me first,” he snarled back. All tenderness once etched upon his face toward me snapped away like a file deleted from the internet.

“Well, you should have woken me up. Shit may have happened to me, but that doesn’t mean I can’t handle my fucking job,” I roared in response. “And you of all people doubting me after everything hurts the most.”

Red clouded my vision. How could he? Mikey had become the one person I knew I could count on, until now. Until this stunt he pulled.

“I didn’t wake you up because…” He paused and ran a hand over his face. Closing his eyes, he inhaled deeply and turned away. “I didn’t do that because I thought you couldn’t fucking handle it, Scottie.”

“Oh, fuck off,” I hissed at his back as he began silently walking down the ledge. Of course he would lie. Of course he would simply walk away. He’d done the same thing the first time he’d looked at me.

He paused at my words. I stared at his still frame, so large, so powerful. So much strength exuded from someone who wasn’t as heartless as I’d first thought. But he said nothing and simply resumed walking away.

Tears welled up in my eyes as pain shattered my soul. What had I just done? Agony seared in my heart, inflicted by my own choice—by my own words that I should have never spoken. But how dare he…

Collapsing to the ground, salt stained my cheek. How dare he sacrifice some of his time to sleep to allow me to rest longer. And all I did was get frustrated with him and accuse him of seeing me as weak.

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