Page 45 of What I Should Have Done

“Why would you think that?”

“Because her narcissism is so obvious. I noticed it in her first letter. Yet I stayed with her for three fucking years, and the entire time, never saw it.”

“That’s how abuse works,” I gently said and took a cautious step his way. “But you’re out of the relationship now.”

“Only because I caught her on all fours with some guy fucking her in our bed.” His jaw knotted as he brought his gaze back to me.

“You’re still out.” I stopped directly in front of him, so close to his chest that with every exhale, his warm breath washed over my face. Sharp tingles shivered across my neck as everything in me wanted to be even closer. Bare skin beneath a thin T-shirt waited for me, speckled with a history of pain that I wanted to hear about, but I refrained from reaching forward.

“Again, ’cause I caught her cheating.” He looked down at me, something gentler and more lighthearted crossing his face.

“And you swear you don’t have any feelings left for her?” I pushed. Why, I wasn’t entirely sure, but I had to know.

“The moment I saw her naked with him plowing her from behind, I know this sounds cruel, but any feelings I had for her were gone immediately. It was rather strange with how tangible the shift was after they were gone. I’m not even mad at her or hurt by her anymore.” He slowly raised a hand, his brows tightening, casting a shadow over his deep blue eyes.

“So, then why do you care so much?” I asked, tracking his fingers as they steered toward the bandaged wound on my cheek.

“I just told you I don’t?” His touch hovered over my skin.

“Yet I never asked what position they were in and you’ve mentioned it twice now.” I knew I shouldn’t dig, but those green tendrils of jealousy were still loosely wrapped around my stomach. Twisting and pressuring me to push at him.

“Yeah, well, I am a bit pissed at specifically that.”

“Why?” My eyes flickered to his fingers that still hovered over my cheek.

His shoulders drooped, and his hand fell away from my face. “Because I was nothing more to her than he is, and it just feels really shitty to have meant so little to someone I spent three years with.”

“Why the hell does the position that he was fucking her in make you think you meant nothing more to her?”

“You’re gonna never let me live this down if I tell you,” he cautiously said, sizing me up with a narrowed gaze.

“Depends, but I make no promises.”

A soft grin filled his face. “Because that was the only position we ever did.”

My mouth fell open as I stared at this hunk of a man in front of me. “Why the hell would she not want to look at you at least once? I mean, like damn, if I—” and my hand slapped over my mouth.

His eyes darkened, that cocky ass grin lifted on his lips. He opened his mouth, but I immediately spoke. “Don’t you say a fucking thing. I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just, you’re…”

“Handsome? Dashing? Bad ass? Sexy?” he offered, and I rolled my eyes.

“You’re…not ugly.” I threw my hands on my hips as that comforting chuckle rolled from his chest. He was all of those things, but I wasn’t going to admit that to his face. “I’m just saying, one position would get boring.”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Sex is sex, Scotch.”

“At least you had access to two holes,” I muttered, and it was his turn for his mouth to fall open. My eyes widened with his. I may not believe in romance or love, but he wasn’t wrong when it came to his view on sex.

And then he sighed heavily. “Only one.”

“She spent three years offering up her ass, yet you didn’t get that too?”

“Knowing what I know now, she’s probably enjoyed some anal before, but while we were together, I never even bothered to approach that topic.”

“Why not?”

He chuckled, a grin of satisfaction slid across his face, and I immediately knew I walked into something dirty, and however serious of an answer that may have been available, he was certainly not going to stick to that route. “I may be an average man in length, but I shine in girth, Scotch. I would’ve split her at the seams.”

Swallowing stiffly, I steadied my breathing, ignoring the pounding of my heart. He should not have told me that. He should not have crossed that boundary. But hell was I enjoying this. The pulse between my legs fired up again, and I narrowed my gaze at him. “I don’t believe you.”

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