Page 11 of What I Should Have Done

Violence stirred in me, warning me I was on the verge of tipping into something dangerous and teetering on the edge of uncontrollable.

“Squib,” Scottie muttered lowly beside me, snapping me out of thoughts that shouldn’t be crossing my mind. “My nickname was Damp Squib.”

Dom’s brows creased, and shocked faces of the team faced her. Unexpected rage seized through my bones hearing her say it, tightening that deal with the devil I’d made the moment I signed my name to enlist.

Dom shook his head. “You were top of your class and they called you fucking ‘Squib’?”

She nodded, refusing to meet anyone else’s gaze.

“Well, we sure as hell won’t be calling you that.” Dom pulled his balaclava up over his mouth, shielding everything but his eyes.

“How about Eagle?” Bernie offered, mirroring Dom’s movements. I slipped the fabric over my nose and adjusted the mask around my collar.

“Nah, doesn’t fit her,” Ford answered, slipping sunglasses over his eyes.

“Scottie, when you think about your childhood, what’s the first thing that pops in your head?” Dom asked, shifting in his seat.

Buckling my helmet over the balaclava, my gaze slid to Scottie. Her eyes glazed over, drifting to a memory that twisted her features with both pain and yet a tenderness. “I used to sit and feed the birds that came to our yard. Crows. Specifically, they were crows.”

Everyone slowly nodded except for me. “Alright, Crow it is,” Dom replied.

Crow. I let the word tumble around in my head and coat my tongue. How fitting. Those beautiful black birds as black and sheen as her beautiful hair that my mind had been tormented with since I laid eyes on her.

What the hell was going on with me?

Luckily, it seemed that no one noticed my unusual silence as Bernie joked, “She doesn’t fear death, does she?”

Not a single person noted that not a word had left my mouth.

Except for Scottie. Her eyes held a fire, a blazing question within the saffron swirls flecked with black.

I wondered if she could sense it. This strange thread that seemed to weave its way toward her. It was unintentional. I was struggling with the idea that she was supposed to have my six during our missions, let alone her being someone more than just a stranger with a gun on my side of the war.

No, there was no way that I would ever jump into something that risked more pain, more anger, especially since she was merely temporarily assigned to our team.

Being here, doing this job, was where I was needed, and she would be gone by the end of this tour.

All I had was the here and now, with my team.

And this stranger, seated next to me, who would disappear within a few months.

Chapter 5

SCOTTIE

It was quiet. As quiet as my mind becomes right before I squeeze the trigger.

The sand below my stomach quickly turned cold the moment the sun dipped below the horizon. After trekking across desert dunes for nearly five klicks, we’d arrived at our intended destination. And I hadn’t heard a whisper from the rest of the team since they disappeared down into the valley, headed toward a single, cement structure. I found my spot, bunkered beside one of the only decently covered locations—a single boulder that sand frequently sprayed from with every gentle, deceiving breeze.

Silence. No movement outside or around the building for hours. The team hadn’t breached the structure yet, and while I couldn’t see them, I knew where their camouflaged positions were due to the mission plans.

We were about seven minutes out from the intended breach time as we had determined, but the absolute desolation surrounding us had me more nervous than if a gun fight were to break out. The anticipation was killing me, and it confused me how the rest of the team could be so patient and quiet—that was my job.

Crackles over the radio entered my ear, and I inched my sniper rifle forward on the tripod, narrowing the aim down toward the single door on my side of the perfectly square building.

“Nothing. Let’s breach sooner than scheduled. Over.” It was Dom.

A carefree breeze danced across the rolling dunes, sending some sand slithering down my back, but I didn’t shiver. No matter how much it prickled, there was nothing that would force me to move. I was packed in tightly, hidden beneath a blanket that had more sand on top of it.

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