“I understand,” she softly answered. “So, tell him. If and when things progress, tell him, because it wouldn’t be fair to him to not tell him that you’re a virgin, okay sweetie?”
“He already knows that I am, but I’m still afraid. Maybe I just shouldn’t let it go past kissing,” I muttered, flashes of that horrible wall from that night crashing through my mind, reminding me of the once-frozen terror my body had been quite literally trapped in.
“Don’t deprive yourself of something wonderful, Willow. If you’re thinking these things and feeling these things about someone, let yourself have it. I’ve known you for how long now and you’ve never even mentioned a desire to kiss someone, let alone more,” she gently encouraged me.
“But I’ll eventually leave.”
“He knows that. So, just let things happen.”
Abi was right. Gunnar was just as aware of the timeline and my past situation as I was. “I’m not some whore for wanting this?” I hesitantly asked.
“I’d be worried something was wrong with you if you didn’t,” she replied with a giggle, and I took a deep breath.
“Again, please don’t say anything to anyone else. Especially Denny,” I emphasized, and heard a small gasp on her end.
“I promise. Though I have something to tell you, too,” she quickly said, as the faint truck engine turned off. Vague voices spoke, echoing around me from near the entrance to the arena, but I ignored it and returned to Abi.
“What’s that?” I asked.
“Denny and I kissed like a week ago. Well, made out. Several times since then too.”
I chuckled. “‘Bout damn time.”
“What?” she shrieked.
“We’ve all been waiting for it to happen. I’m very happy for you two,” I replied, and heard her click her tongue and then giggle.
“I’ve got to run! Keep me posted with hot cowboy updates!”
“Tell Kurt and Sally and everyone I said hi! Love you!” I answered with a smile, and she disconnected after a “love you too.”
Before I had the chance to shove my cell back into my pocket, another phone call came through. Tapping the answer button, I threw it up to my ear. “I’m safe now, Sally,” I said instead of a “hello.”
Her warm chuckle came through, as a familiar male voice shouted something muffled in the background. “Kurt wants to let you know Moose is alright.”
“Thank you; that’s the best news.” I closed my eyes, drowning out the familiar rattle of the garage door opening.
“How’d things go at the cabin?” she asked, quietly. Of course, I’d forgotten I’d briefly mentioned the fact I was with someone to her. And I wasn’t sure what to say now. There was so much swimming in my head, things I still needed to process from my conversation with Abi, that what should’ve been a simple answer failed to transpire.
“Has Kurt ever hurt you?” I asked instead.
A gentle sigh came through the speaker. “Yes. Not by raising his fists to me or anything that way, but he’s made mistakes in our marriage.”
“Yet, you still love him.”
“More than ever.”
Silence.
“Sugar, you need to trust whatever is in your heart. Even if that leads to you eventually getting it broken. Besides, I doubt you’d be asking me these things if you didn’t already know what you wanted to ultimately do,” Sally said, breaking the silence.
“And it’s okay to?” I whispered.
“Absolutely,” she answered softly. “Now go on; you’ve got a lot of adventure waiting for you. Love you, honey.”
“Love you, too.” And the line went dead. Stuffing the phone back into my pocket, I rounded the corner and kicked at the snow beneath my boots. Blowing out air that hung like fog in front of me, I filled my lungs up with courage. After today, when we were finished working, I’d stop holding back, I’d—
My feet stopped on their own accord as my eyes latched onto that trailer I knew I recognized from somewhere.