Page 16 of Since Day One

“No. Sorry, Princess. It’s still a no,” He cut me off, and I grinned even wider.

“Didn’t hurt to try.” I shrugged and began untacking the horses. Following Gunnar back and forth, we returned the tack to the correct spots, gave the horses a nice brush and treat, and then led them two at a time back out to their pasture.

As the last horse ran free toward the truck that was bringing in hay, Gunnar stopped beside me, holding two halters. “If you don’t benefit from the dude ranch, why do you help Ruger?” I asked.

“Who says I don’t benefit? Just because I don’t receive financial compensation doesn’t mean it doesn’t benefit me.” His eyes watched the same scene unfolding in front of us, and the sudden urge to step closer to him bubbled up within me.

Unable to stop myself, I bumped against his shoulder but refrained from staying in his space. Physical contact was not usually something I craved. It wasn’t something I received much of growing up, so it always felt foreign. Yet, for whatever reason, I jumped on him earlier, and now I’d voluntarily pressed myself into his shoulder.

Gunnar bumped me back and then turned around, tossing the halters over his shoulder and shoving his hands in his pockets. I silently followed him back to the barn, wondering where this was all coming from. So much was swirling around in my head, so many emotions running through me that I couldn’t make heads or tails of what was going on other than he was easy to be with.

Chapter 7

The fire pit was once again my solace during dinner. It was enjoyable to watch my family wander about but not bother me, even receiving a slight smile from my dad, which was unexpected yet nice. Marissa seemed to be gossiping as loudly as she could with anyone who would listen. My eyes tracked her through the smoke that slithered up toward the dark canvas filled with silver specks.

My mom plopped herself down beside me and offered that fake smile she always wore, ruining my perfect streak of no family interaction. “I didn’t see you on the ride today. Too good for a beginner trail ride now?” she said snidely, tugging her coat tighter around her plump frame.

“Oh. No, it wasn’t anything like that. I lost track of time and missed it. I wish I could’ve come,” I replied, trying to remain cheery.

“You need to be more responsible,” she continued, leaning back in the chair beside me.

Plastering a half-hearted smile upon my face, I looked away. My eyes roamed the people mingling about, landing on Gunnar, who was intensely watching me with a hunter’s gaze from afar. Leaning his steel-cut frame against a wooden rail that lined the edge of the patio surrounding the fire pit, he was half-listening to something one of the hands was saying to him while half-focused on what was happening over here. He tilted his head and raised a brow when he realized I caught him staring.

“So, any boyfriend or husband we should know about?” my mother continued, and I looked away from the intriguing stare of that man.

“No.”

“Disappointing,” she muttered.

“Why? Why is everything I do so disappointing to you?” I snapped, my patience with her already wearing thin, and she shook her head.

“You never did put any effort into dating, and the one man who seemed even remotely interested in the tomboy that you are, you ran away from.” She pursed her lips and sighed in annoyance. “Ten years later and you still don’t seem to have a feminine bone in your body. You can’t seem to act like a girl, Willow. Why can’t you enjoy this kind of life and be more like Marissa?”

“More like Marissa?” I shook my head, frustrated. “In what way, exactly?”

“In boys! In clothes! She works, too, but at least she’s also working on finding a man for herself. She wears makeup and dresses nicely and understands that there are differences between men and women.” My mom scowled in my direction.

“I do understand there are differences, Mom. But why does that mean I can’t accomplish my goals too?” I kept my voice as calm as I could as soft music began playing.

My mom would love Emily. Her request was literally trying to morph me into that woman.

“Because your goals seem more important than what your family wants for you. You’re behaving selfishly, Willow. We have only ever wanted what’s right for you.”

“Only because you made the goals and wants so different. Have you not considered that I do want to have someone? That I would love to be taken out for a fancy night in town and dress up? But I also love riding and training horses. Why can’t I have the best of both worlds? Why do I have to choose? Why is your way better than mine?“ I demanded tiredly, standing up from my chair and ready to leave this situation. “It’s been ten years, we’re practically strangers, and I’m an adult, not a child anymore. So how do you know what’s right for me?” Unbelievably, here we were again, all this time later, having another conversation exactly like the last one we’d attempted. Me being berated for having dreams that were more than becoming someone’s wife.

I wanted to be my own person too.

“Clearly,” my mother began, standing up as well, “you can’t figure out what’s right for you. You’re still alone, and no matter how much you accomplish, it’ll never be enough.”

“Enough for who? You or me?” I snarled in response, but as my mother opened her mouth to answer, a shadow fell over my left shoulder. I glanced at the towering figure who now separated me from the flames roaring in the fire pit.

“Hi. You’re Ruger’s brother I presume,” my mother coated her voice in a sickly-sweet tone, trying to mask the hiss she offered me.

“Yes, ma’am,” Gunnar answered, his face pulled tight in an unmoving stoicism.

“I can tell. You look a lot like him. May I introduce my daughter, Willow? She’s quite a phenomenal horseman herself. She actually—“

“We’ve met,” Gunnar gruffly cut her off and then turned to face me. “Can I talk to you for a moment?”

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