Page 87 of Since Day One

“Hmmm?” he said.

“You drove all the way here,” I began, and he nodded. “To see me or Gauge?”

“Both,” he answered. “Willow, I can’t sleep. I can’t focus. I barely scraped first place the year I saw you pregnant and lost this year, because every time I get in that damn—“

“Language,” I quickly scolded, and he grimaced.

“Sorry.” He cleared his throat. “Every time I get in that arena to train, I think you’re sitting on the bleachers waiting for your turn. I’ve tried to read out loud to myself to fall asleep, but I can’t. I get why you cut me off, I get why you’re hesitant now, so all I ask is that you give me a chance.”

My heart raced in my chest as I stared out the window. “It’s been almost two years, Gunnar. How do you know this could work?”

“Look me in the eyes and tell me you haven’t thought of me once. Tell me that you sleep peacefully every night, that you laugh the same way you did with me. Tell me that your life is perfect without me, and I will walk away without question,” he stated, and I glanced at him, straining with every fiber in my being to lie. But I didn’t want to lie. It wasn’t a fight to tell the truth. But it was a fight to find the words to explain to him what I was so afraid of.

Gunnar signaled and followed the two trucks onto the dirt path that led to the parking behind the arena. We were always allowed back with the competitors at any rodeo since T-Bar Ranch was a major sponsor and such a big name in the horse world.

He put the truck in park and looked at me, his brows raised as he waited.

“You can’t,” he confirmed, and I fought back tears. Gunnar unlocked his door and stepped out, closing it while I sat still. I couldn’t tell him—that would mean picking between him and here would become a reality. The back passenger door opened and Gauge squealed as Gunnar unbuckled him and placed him on a hip. He closed that door and then opened mine.

“If Gauge wasn’t here, would you want me as badly as you’re acting now?”

“It’s not an act, Princess,” he said, his face completely serious. That ever-mischievous twinkle was missing.

I slid down from the seat, my feet landing against the ground, and he shut the door behind me. Gunnar carried Gauge as we slowly walked toward my family, who waited for us. On the opposite side of the arena, there were carnival rides lighting up the sky, but Gauge saw the horses warming up and began pointing and shouting at them instead.

“I think I know where he wants to go,” Sally said, approaching Gunnar. “I’m Sally. Or MeeMaw as Gauge knows me.”

“Gunnar. It’s a pleasure to meet you, ma’am,” Gunnar replied, tipping his hat.

“I’m going to steal Willow for a moment. Why don’t you join the others? They’re heading to our seats,” Sally said, and Gunnar nodded briefly, raising a brow at me, and then carried Gauge toward the group ahead. Abi grinned widely when he approached, accepting him with open arms.

Sally hooked my elbow and waited for them to cover enough distance that they couldn’t hear what she wanted to say, and then we slowly began meandering toward the same entrance onto the bleachers they were headed to.

“He drove all the way here,” she began, and I nodded.

Sally remained quiet for a little bit as we walked along; I kicked at a few loose rocks.

“Willow, it’s obvious that you’ve never stopped loving him. Even when I was in the hospital, I could see that not all of you came back,” she tenderly said, and I sniffled. “You have a choice to make now.”

“I’m scared,” I whispered, and she wiped away a tear that was sliding down her weathered cheek.

“Love is so scary. But there’s a life waiting for you that I don’t think is in Texas anymore,” she replied, patting her hand against my arm.

“But that’s where you are. This is where my family is,” I cried out, hating that she was confirming what I knew my heart wanted more than anything.

I wanted Gunnar, and I always had.

“You’re making a new family now. Besides, we’ll always be here, and I expect plenty of return trips and visits. But he is where you should be, and Gauge needs his father. But more so, that man needs the people he loves. I can see it in his eyes. He would give up everything if that’s what it takes to have you,” she answered and gestured toward Gunnar, who was standing at the top of the stairs, dancing Gauge on his shoulders.

“You’ve always been good at judging people.” I gave her a strained smile, watching the man I loved and my son, our son, together.

“I know,” she replied with a flick of her wrist.

“I think I have to go. I can’t run away this time,” I whispered, feeling my heart tear in two again, though this seemed much less painful. It seemed more bittersweet than the last time and less final. I would see them again, so many more times.

“I know that too,” she gently replied.

“It’s always been him,” I muttered as we began walking up the stairs, and Gunnar spun away from the arena and smiled. My heart leaped from my chest and landed in his, feeling safe and whole for the first time in so long. I had my son, and now I also had him.

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