Page 86 of Since Day One

Kurt stood up and gave Gunnar a once over. But he did not shrink. Instead Gunnar extended his hand and introduced himself to Kurt as if he was introducing himself to my father. Another wave of tears welled up in my eyes, knowing I never stopped loving him.

And I suddenly realized that Gunnar had vocally admitted to me that he’d been in love with me all this time. I felt electric as goosebumps raced over my skin. For the first time, he’d verbally said those three little words. I’d known he had loved me by his actions back then, but he’d said it for real now. He still loved me.

Kurt smiled at Gunnar and then backed away, and I moved close enough that I could hear what he said to Gauge. “Hey buddy,” Gunnar said, squatting down beside him while Kurt returned to his truck.

Gauge stared at Gunnar. Confused and worried, his eyes darted around, scanning both Kurt and me.

Gunnar slid his hands around in the gravel for a minute and then caught something. Extending his hand forward, he opened his palm, and sitting in his large, calloused grasp was a grasshopper.

I shook my head, knowing that Gunnar had just spoken that little boy’s language. Gauge squealed, flailing his arms, and then stretched forward his own little hand that held a squashed worm. Babbled words slipped from my son’s lips, as he exchanged one insect for another as Gunnar accepted the little gift from Gauge.

“These are great for fishin’,” Gunnar said, pointing to the worm, and Gauge squealed as the grasshopper jumped out from his muddy palm.

“Pawpaw,” he said, pointing at Kurt, and blew some raspberries.

“Pawpaw took you?” Gunnar asked, and Gauge pushed himself up to his feet.

“Blu-blu,” he babbled, blowing more bubbles as he quickly toddled to Kurt. Gunnar watched him carefully, still unmoving from his squatted position as the one-year-old grabbed Kurt’s hand and tugged.

“Blu-blu,” Gauge babbled his sounds again that meant “fishing”, and then plunked himself back down next to Gunnar.

“Sure, buddy. All three of us can go fishin’ sometime,” Kurt answered, and Gunnar’s eyes lit up, his brows raising.

“Mama,” Gauge said, pointing his muddy finger at Gunnar.

Gunnar smiled tenderly, and shook his head. “No, Dad,” he said, pointing to himself. Gauge squealed and reached forward, grabbing Gunnar’s clean button-up. Mud smeared across his shirt as the one-year-old used Gunnar to hoist himself upright.

“Dada,” Gauge said, and I could’ve sworn I saw a hint of moisture well up in Gunnar’s eyes.

“Dada,” he whispered, his gaze lingering on the little boy. My heart swooned, seeing one of the strongest men I’d ever met, crumple into putty by a tiny child.

“We really should get going,” I finally interrupted as Kurt silently walked back into his truck.

Gunnar nodded and glanced down at his shirt. He brushed at some of the mud. “I got into everything as a kid,” he muttered.

“That much I figured, seeing how Gauge acts and you still act,” I responded, crossing my arms, and he let his lips twitch upward into a smile.

Gunnar placed his palms against his thighs and carefully stood up, looking at me. “I bought a car seat.” He threw his thumb at his truck.

“You did what?” That startled me. Maybe he was actually being serious about this?

“I bought a car seat. Maybe you two would want to ride with me to the rodeo?” he asked.

I glanced at my son, squatting up and down from the gravel, one hand full of rocks and the other one stuffed with the same worm. He giggled in glee, and I closed my eyes.

“Okay,” I mumbled just as Gauge reached up, grabbing Gunnar’s hand before dragging him forward. I watched as Gunnar’s eyes lit up from the touch of the little boy. He slowly steered the little boy away from the grasshopper I knew Gauge was after, and they slowly walked toward the truck. Gunnar opened his backseat and, sure enough, there was a car seat that looked properly installed.

He hoisted Gauge inside and began buckling him in as I nodded at Kurt to go ahead, silently expressing that we’d follow them there. Kurt threw his truck into drive and slowly rolled down the driveway with the second Dodge following. I returned my gaze to Gunnar, who was waiting beside an open passenger door.

Taking a deep breath, I walked his way. I prayed he was being sincere, that he really cared about me and Gauge. There was a part of me that was scared he wasn’t being truthful, but the bigger part of me was scared he was. Because if Gunnar really wanted me back in his life despite the fact that I shut him out, I would have to choose. Here or Wyoming.

And deep down, I knew which one I’d pick. I’d known it for a while now.

Chapter 32

Gunnar followed along behind my family toward the rodeo grounds. We were definitely going to miss most of the carnival rides at this point, which I only felt bad about for Gauge. I personally couldn’t care less. What I did care about was figuring out what I wanted concerning the man sitting beside me.

“Gunnar?” I asked, and he swung those beautiful eyes toward me. It felt like we hadn’t spent a second away from each other.

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