Page 85 of Since Day One

“I can’t stop. I need you to know before you decide. You have to know everything,” Gunnar softly said.

“I’m not going to keep you away from your son if you want a relationship with him. But don’t say things just to manipulate me,” I said, my voice trembling, as the tears streamed down my face.

Kurt got out of the vehicle and hustled toward me. “Pawpaw!” Gauge said, wiggling his fingers at Kurt. I passed Gauge to his grandpa, and Gunnar watched him walk around the truck to entertain him with some bugs on the ground.

“Willow, I’m not just here for him. Sure, I finally decided to say fuck it and ignore your boundaries because of that damned article, but there was a part of me that knew it was merely an excuse to come for you one last time,” Gunnar softly whispered.

I watched him with pained tears in my eyes. “What are you saying, Gunnar?”

“I’m saying that I love you. I’m in love with you, I’ve been in love with you, and all this time apart didn’t change that.” He reached forward, brushing some hair behind my shoulders. “I’m also saying that, after being an uncle for the past two years, and because of you, I realized I could have kids, and I want them. I know they won’t end up going through all the shit I did with you as their mom.”

I stared at him, baffled and torn. He’d spoken words that I so longed to hear, but I still wasn’t sure. It wasn’t just my heart that I had to protect anymore, it was my son’s as well. Gunnar’s hazel eyes watched mine, begging me without a word to trust him, to give him a chance, but I wasn’t sure if I was ready to. Yet, he wasn’t mad. He was simply asking, letting me make the decision. His thumbs brushed away the hot, wet stains on my cheeks.

“I don’t know, Gunnar,” I whispered, and he nodded, stepping away, once again respectfully accepting my boundaries.

“Could I meet my son?” he asked. “Maybe spend some time with both of you before I go back to Wyoming?”

“Both of us?” I softly questioned.

“Yes. Like I said, I’m not just here for him.”

Even though I’d told him I wasn’t sure, he still wanted to spend time with me. I studied him for a moment, wishing so hard that he was being truthful, yet I was terrified, and my fragile heart still wasn’t healed.

“By the way, congratulations,” he said, giving me a tender smile.

My brows twitched together. “For what?”

“Winning Cowgirl of the Year. I saw the article,” he muttered, running a hand along the back of his neck. Right, that was what he meant by the article. That was how he learned about Gauge. That was probably also when he put two and two together about Gauge being his. Had he simply been waiting all this time for a reason where I couldn’t turn him away again?

“Oh, thank you,” I said, looking at his face and studying every inch of it.

“Well deserved, obviously,” he said, that intense longing back in his eyes.

One more kiss wouldn’t hurt, would it? The memory of him lingered against my own lips. Lips that craved him. He could even read to me tonight, just one more time before he drove home to Wyoming.

“We’re going to a rodeo right now,” I spoke, breaking the silent trance that we were locked in.

“That sounds fun. Does my son like horses?” he asked, and I gave him a brief smile.

“If he didn’t, I’d be concerned; I mean, look at his parents,” I answered, and Gunnar gave me a crooked grin, a soft dimple appearing. “His name is Gauge, by the way.”

Gunnar blinked rapidly and looked over at the boy that had dirt mashed on his cheek and two worms hanging from his hands. He chuckled as I rolled my eyes.

“I saw in the article. Why’d you name him that?” he gently asked.

“It reminded me of his dad,” I answered without thinking, and Gunnar looked back at me.

“Gunnar and Gauge. If we have a girl, we’ll have to name her something like your name.”

“If we have a girl?” I asked in shock, and Gunnar opened and closed his mouth several times, stuttering in embarrassment.

“I-I—“

“Go say hi to him, and you can follow us to the rodeo,” I cut him off with a soft smile, nodding toward the little boy.

“Does this mean I get to be his dad? You know, like dad, dad. Not just…” His voice trailed off, unable to fully form the words he wanted to ask, his eyes hopeful. I knew what he meant.

“If you want, I won’t stop you,” I replied cautiously, and he grinned like a little kid before walking toward Kurt and Gauge. I lagged behind but eventually followed him.

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