Page 79 of Since Day One

“What?” I gasped, panting as we barreled across the parking lot.

“Yeah, Daddy apparently heard what happened at the competition from some random hands in Wyoming. Anyway, rumor has it she’s getting hitched in some shotgun wedding ’cause he’s got money and Daddy revoked all privileges,” she whispered, gasping for air as we ran faster and faster.

At least there was a small sliver of justice in this cruel world. Though I knew the purpose of her telling me this was to distract me from all of the anguish that I’d left behind and the impending death we were sprinting toward.

Though it did nothing to stop the blackening doom from settling upon my shoulders.

Chapter 29

GUNNAR

Eight months had passed since Willow Summers flew into my life, uprooted everything I’d come to believe, and disappeared completely. Eight months with nothing but her on my mind. I constantly thought of her and was reminded of her.

I missed her.

For the first couple months, I tried to find her phone number, messaged T-Bar Ranch in any way I could, but nothing in response. The one time I called the ranch, whoever answered hung up on me. I knew what that meant, but it didn’t make things hurt any less.

Mom assured me that time would heal all things, but how much would I have to suffer until then? There were still mornings that I forgot she wasn’t here and looked toward the bleachers during training. Luckily, it happened less once we’d moved into the outdoor arena, but now that the months were getting colder once more, her memory was everywhere.

And the clear boundary she’d set to keep me away was becoming harder and harder for me to respect.

Ruger sat across from me with dark circles under his eyes. His baby was apparently colicky and keeping both parents up all night. He slammed his head against the dining table, startling the few guests who were staying at the dude ranch right now.

I patted him on the back, offering him some sympathy, and said something without thinking. “If you’d like, I’ll take her for the night. Give you guys a break. Or come over and take care of some house things?”

Ruger’s head shot up so fast that it even made me dizzy. “What’d you just say?”

“I ain’t repeating myself,” I replied, wiping gravy from my chin and pushing away from the table.

“Don’t you have finals this weekend?” Ruger asked, looking both hopeful and disbelieving.

“That’s not for another two days.”

“You’re heading out on the road tomorrow. How about after the show?”

“Sure. You and Jesse coming? Mom and Dad said they will,” I said, shoving the last bit of the mashed potatoes into my mouth.

He watched me blankly. “I’m still trying to process that you, ‘never having kids’ you’, offered to watch a baby for the entire night.”

I sculled the last of my beer. “Are you coming… or not?” I asked again, ignoring what he’d said. Something had changed in me, watching Jesse during her pregnancy. A part of me thought that maybe saying absolutely never to kids wasn’t what I really wanted. Or maybe it was because every time I saw Jesse, I saw Willow smiling beside her. They’d become friends real quick while she’d been here. So, maybe it was just another thing that reminded me of Willow.

Too many things did that.

If I was honest, everything did.

“Yeah, we’re coming,” Ruger said, flopping his forehead back against the table. “You know that they’re holding the reining finals at the same place this year, and during the same weekend, right?” His voice was muffled, mashed up against the wood.

“I’m aware,” I replied, ignoring the small spark that leaped in my chest. After all this time, I might actually catch a glimpse of her. Maybe she was as excited to go to the show as I was because of the idea that we would see each other, and she wouldn’t just be the screensaver on my phone anymore. I wondered if she thought of me as often as I did her.

But I felt a twinge in my heart, doubting that. When I had asked for her number from Jesse, I learned she’d accidentally deleted the one text Willow sent before saving her contact information. But Jesse had heard nor received a message since, which only reinforced the boundary that Willow had set. We’d both said our goodbyes with the idea that things were final. It was for the best. We agreed. But agreeing wasn’t the same as wanting. And I wanted…

Willow probably hadn’t spared a single thought for me since then. It was more painful than I imagined trying to stomach that idea, so most of the time I just worked harder and longer to help me ignore it. But she owned me. And it was eating me away.

To this day, she still owned every part of me.

I would drop everything in an instant and run on hot coals to the ends of the Earth if she asked.

But she hadn’t asked. I hadn’t heard a peep from her. Not even when I’d shipped most—but not all—of her things to her.

---