Page 18 of Since Day One

Blinking rapidly to hold back the tears, the fear that pumped heavily through my veins increased my breathing as the memories raced through my mind. She had no idea, of course; none of them did. And it wasn’t like I could explain, either; they wouldn’t give me the time of day or believe me. The one time I tried to tell my mom, barely a sentence left my mouth before she shut me down.

The thing was, I knew why they had always sided with him, why they were willing to turn a blind eye and ignore me. Or at least I’d known why then; now, though, I wasn’t sure what continued to stop them from listening to me.

“Good night, Marissa,” I stated with finality and shoved the door open, closing it tightly behind me to block her out. Tomorrow was a new day, a day to continue forward and forget the past.

Leaning my back against the door, I tugged my phone out of my pocket.

Home. I missed home, the ache welling up within my heart as everything felt so shallow, so broken. Tapping the screen, I pulled up Sally’s icon and dialed her number. It was late, but I desperately needed to speak with her. Just hearing her voice would calm the raging anger and fear that was crashing through me.

“Willow?” Sally’s concerned voice quickly followed the dial tone.

“Hey, Sally,” I whispered, closing my eyes, picturing her face. Warmth filled my soul from her simple greeting.

“How are things there, honey?” But she knew; I could tell without saying a thing. Her voice—as soft and gentle as always, as if a fluffy blanket wrapped tenderly around my heart—was all I really wanted to hear

“Oh, you know. Interesting,” I mumbled. “How’s Moose?”

“I’m staying on top of it, making sure the hubby’s checking on Moose at least three times a day,” she answered. If she was here right now, if I was with her, she’d be pushing a cup of steaming hot coffee across the table. Just thinking about it, I could taste it.

“Good. And how’s the training going? Nobody has messed anything up too badly?”

“Kurt’s also on top of that, but it’s definitely taking a toll on him. Every night when he comes to bed, he’s a bit sore.”

Feeling better already, I smiled to myself, bumping my head gently against the door. “So, what you’re saying is you need me back?”

“Not just yet, sugar.” She paused, and a faint rustling draped over my ear. “What’s on your mind, Willow?”

There it was. I knew she knew. She always knew. A tear slid down my cheek, silently carrying the anxiety that banged against the bars trapped deep within my mind.

Filling my lungs only half full with a shaky breath, I wiped the sticky, hot tear from my cheek. “Facing them means facing the reality of why I left, and it’s…” My voice faltered, the words escaping my mind.

“One day at a time, honey. One day at a time and, before you know it, you’ll be home,” Sally’s tender voice filled in the gaping hole that I was digging.

“Home. Yeah, one day at a time,” I whispered in affirmation.

“Now, get some sleep. Knowing you, you’ve got a big day ahead of you,” she answered.

I giggled quietly. “Believe it or not, I’m trying to worm my way into learning some cutting. One of the owners here is an NCHA World Champion.”

“Well, that sounds just like the Willow I know and love. Goodnight, sugar.” Tender love seeped from her words, giving me back the control that had been slowly slipping from my grasp.

“Night, Sally. Give everyone my love,” I answered, and the line went dead.

There was the soul rejuvenation that I needed for the impending clock ticking toward tomorrow.

Quickly gathering my pajamas and toiletries, I trudged into the bathroom and took a fast shower. This time, I left my hair down, letting it air dry as I laid down upon my pillow and tucked the blankets up under my chin.

Tomorrow was a new day.

Chapter 8

Asleep before most of the girls returned last night, I was up ahead of the rest of them once again. It was early, the sun barely peeking out from behind the mountains that towered around this beautiful little valley. A soft, pink hue iced the peaks as my breath curled around me. Bundled up in several layers, another pair of thermals warmed me beneath my long-sleeve T-shirt and black sweatshirt. A light brown, paisley-patterned wild rag tied around my neck kept the frost from nipping at any exposed skin. And, of course, another pair of men’s jeans cuffed above my worn boots. Hoping to convince Gunnar to let me ride today, I’d tucked my spurs into my sweatshirt pocket.

Leaning against the railing of the fence, I watched the horses stretch and cattle huddle in a group to stay warm on this extra-cold morning. Clouds threatened in the sky, dark gray and angry-looking in contrast with the simple stillness around. Not a breeze to be felt.

I was waiting for Gunnar. Hoping that he would just happen to ride this way again.

And he did.

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