Page 33 of Invidia

“How lovely that you’re still friends after all this time,” Iris said simply. “My nana used to say that old friends were precious as jewels. I didn’t have any old friends, but she had lots that she liked to talk about.”

“You have new friends now,” Meera offered, swooping in to rescue the conversation as the rest of us faltered.

Iris sighed happily, perfuming the air with a bright, pleasant scent that could only be joy.

I’d never smelled anything quite like it from Tallulah. I’d smelled her arousal, and it had been fucking mouthwatering. And there had been moments of sweet happiness when we were talking—a scent I missed desperately now—but it had never been as pure and uncomplicated as what Iris was clearly feeling.

Tallulah’s happiness had always smelled a little more precarious.

“So,” Damen began, leaning forward on his elbows to speak to Tallulah across the table. Were they friends? Of course they were. Tallulah would be well acquainted with all the highest Shades in the realm by now. “What’s this I hear about some arranged dates for you?”

I knocked my still-empty goblet over at the same time as Meera started loudly coughing. Iris startled, and Damen hurried to reassure her while I pulled myself together, quickly setting the goblet upright.

“Arranged dates? What arranged dates?” I asked roughly. Whose fucking idea was this? None of the other ex-Hunters were doing that shit. Were they? Maybe I needed to spend more time outside.

Tallulah gave me a flat stare across the table, and I marveled for a moment at just how much she was able to convey with her eyes alone.

“The queen asked me to meet with some Shades who don’t spend time at court. As a favor.”

“That is quite the favor,” I replied—a little too sharply, if the looks Damen and Meera were giving me were any indication.

“Of course, you won’t be pushed to do anything you don’t want to do,” Damen said cheerfully, glossing over my outburst. “And I am personally looking over the list Ophelia has, making sure they’re all good prospects. Most of them are just shy and less comfortable approaching in a crowded room.”

I exhaled heavily, dragging my shadows inwards around my body as they moved of their own accord, wanting to lash out in frustration.

This was always going to happen, remember?

No one wanted a Shade without horns. My work hours were terrible, and I didn’t have a home of my own, or even a private room. I had nothing to offer anyone but myself, which seemed like something of a raw deal.

Or it had in the past. Because with Tallulah, myself felt more valuable. She’d been happy with me. Calm. I’d been able to offer her that sense of groundedness, and she didn’t appear to be getting it from anywhere else.

Maybe…. Maybe I should have fought for that.

But that wouldn’t have been fair on Tallulah. She clearly hadn’t understood the extent to which being born without horns was a curse in the shadow realm.

The right thing to do would be to silently and supportively stand aside while Tallulah searched for that sense of calm I had given her with someone who wouldn’t destroy her reputation.

That would be the right thing to do.

But I was wrestling with the urge to do the wrong thing. The thing I actually wanted to do, which was to be a thorn in her side until Tallulah realized that I would do anything to make her happy, reputation be damned.

Tallulah glared at me across the table as though she could hear my thoughts, and it sparked a possessive need in me that I’d never allowed myself to have.

Stop it, she mouthed, narrowing her eyes at whatever she saw on my face.

My lips tilted up in spite of myself, because I was selfish and at least she was talking to me. But that was where my selfishness had to end. I knew that.

I had to let Tallulah find the happiness she deserved.

But there was no fucking chance that I was leaving those decisions up to the queen and Damen. They didn’t know Tallulah like I did.

No one on that list would be meeting Tallulah until I’d vetted them first.

Chapter 12

Despite it being a first date, and despite me being vaguely aware that I should try to make a good impression, I didn’t spend nearly as much time getting ready as I usually would.

Partly because I didn’t know anything about the dude I was meeting, which made it hard to work up any kind of excitement over it, but I was pretty sure I’d be feeling flat about the whole situation, regardless.

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