Page 3 of Invidia

“Have I?” I hadn’t even noticed, though the cold didn’t feel quite as bitter as it had a few moments ago. “Thank you. I really appreciate you taking pity on the weird lady you found in the bushes.”

Evrin snorted. “It’s a vast improvement on how I imagined the night going.”

I blinked in surprise, which reminded me that I’d subjected my eyelids to false lashes—another layer of overstimulation to deal with. “Why did you come? Was it mandatory?”

“Yes and no. So many members of the Guard wanted to attend as guests—to try to impress the ex-Hunters, I assume—that they were short of guards on duty. Usually, I don’t patrol outside of my own area, but I agreed to tonight. I did warn the Lieutenant that I’d spend most of the night out here.”

“Lurking in the bushes,” I teased, nudging his arm lightly.

He laughed—a rusty, and somehow adorable sound. “Something like that, yes.”

“It sounds like you’ve got quite a lot of freedom in the Guard?” I hedged, trying to make sense of it. I’d assumed that the Guard were all much of a muchness below Captain Soren and Selene, the Lieutenant. Maybe there was more of a hierarchy than I’d thought.

“I suppose. They need me more than I need them,” Evrin replied simply. Confident, but not arrogant.

It made the whole confined space situation infinitely more dangerous—mostly for my self-control. Evrin had a sense of ease about him that I’d only ever encountered a few times in my life—the girl in middle school who used to link our arms and drag me around the playground singing Céline Dion at the top of her voice. What was her name again? Or Kaia, in high school, who’d dressed like an anime character before it was cool and let negative opinions run off her back like water. Evrin possessed the same unbothered energy that they did, and I’d always gravitated to those kinds of people, hoping some of that self-assurance would osmosis its way over to me.

“You weren’t eager to get flirty with the ex-Hunters tonight?” I joked, mostly to show him that I was capable of being cool and funny, and not a walking, talking ball of neuroses like my anxiety speech had probably indicated.

“Flirty is not a word usually associated with me,” he replied, with such perfect dryness in his voice that I couldn’t help but laugh. “Though, I was curious about all of you. I’ll admit that.”

“About us ex-Hunters? That’s a very reasonable thing to be curious about.” I settled in a little more, Evrin’s arm warm and solid where it pressed against mine. I was suddenly desperate to drag this conversation out, to get him to stay out here with me just a little longer. “If you have any questions, I could answer them for you.”

“That’s very accommodating of you,” Evrin said after a pause, gently tucking some vines into the bush next to him before resting his head back against the wall. He was so much taller than me that the top of my head only reached his shoulder. “I guess you’re not in a hurry to get back inside and resume faking enthusiasm for the ball.”

Looks like he’d been paying attention to my ramble after all.

“I’m not in any rush, no,” I agreed sheepishly, wondering what Hunter embarrassment smelled like to Shades, since they could apparently sniff out all of our feelings, and negative ones were supposedly an unpleasant scent.

I didn’t have a degradation kink personally, but my mind wandered off on a side quest, contemplating how much it would suck to be enjoying humiliation and then start smelling like rancid milk midway through the act.

“I had assumed from watching you all in there that all Hunters were social creatures.”

“All Hunters—ex-Hunters—aren’t any one thing, as I’m sure all Shades aren’t either,” I replied, before softening my words with a smile, knowing that I didn’t always come across as warmly as I intended to.

“A very reasonable point,” Evrin replied, a hint of amusement in his voice. At least he didn’t get offended by my correction and call me a snob. “Hm, what was I curious about when it came to Hunters? I’ll admit, this entire interaction has thrown me slightly. You’re already shifting the image I had in my mind.”

“In a good way, I hope?” The history between our kinds was never far from my mind. Hunters had spent centuries actively killing Shades, and the rediscovery of the old dynamic that used to exist between our kinds—one where we co-existed—was new and fragile. While I hadn’t encountered anyone at court who wanted me gone, those Shades did exist, and I didn’t blame them for it.

There was a very good chance they’d lost loved ones at the hands of my kind.

“Yes. In a good way.” He went quiet for a moment before speaking again. “I’ve only ever encountered your kind in your realm, where Shades are so defenseless. It didn’t occur to me how much more… fragile you would seem in this realm.”

That thought had occurred to me almost hourly since I’d moved here, though, not while I’d been out in the courtyard. “Should I be nervous?”

“I’m not going to hurt you.”

I didn’t have any real reason to believe him, and yet I did. Maybe it was just that he had such a settling presence about him. Maybe it was because of how carefully he’d disentangled himself from the vines and branches, gently tucking them back into the bush without breaking them.

That had to be a green flag, right?

“Do you believe me?” he asked, twisting slightly to look at me. “I’ll leave if I’m making you uncomfortable.”

“No, no, I believe you. You’d smell if I was nervous. Or any other kind of heightened emotion. Do I smell unpleasant?”

It sort of sounded like I was fishing for compliments, though it had been a genuine question. Whatever chemicals we put out that made our emotions smell obvious to Shades weren’t detectable to human noses.

“No. You smell fine.”

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