Page 4 of Avaritia

The other ex-Hunters had jobs. Tallulah was sewing curtains and upholstering furniture to make Elverston House more comfortable, Meera was growing food and helping with pregnancy-related things for Selene, Astrid brought back supplies and was working with Austin to set up some kind of communication system for dissenters, which he did in his time off from performing. Ophelia did queen stuff—I was vague on the details, but her skills lay in her compassion and ability to talk to just about anyone.

I didn’t have any marketable skills. I’d been going extra hard on generating power for the stores because that was really the only thing I had to offer the shadow realm: a seemingly limitless libido.

It wasn’t exactly a hardship on my part, since the sex was great. It had taken me a while to work up to full penetration, and I still didn’t let them knot me—I was saving myself for marriage—but Shade dudes were eager to please and they were all so strong, which worked out great for me, since I loved being tossed around the bed. Plus, they had long, kind of rough tongues and zero hang-ups about oral sex, so that was an added bonus.

If only they had tentacles. Well, they sort of did—the captain had demonstrated some shadow limbs to show me it could be done—but absolutely all of my partners had looked at me like I was not quite right in the head when I’d suggested it. One of them had told me it was beyond dated and unfashionable, which was the dumbest thing I’d ever heard.

Tentacles were timeless. Tentacles were not constrained by fashion trends, only by the smallness of the human—or Shade—mind.

That was a deep thought. I contemplated sharing it with Tallulah, but I didn’t think she’d find it as profound as I did.

I was kind of horny again, just from reminiscing. Maybe I’d pick up someone at dinner, generate a little power for the realm. That could be my good deed of the day.

Wait, was that my job? Had I inadvertently gotten into sex work? I wasn’t opposed to it, but it did feel like the kind of decision one should make intentionally.

“You could learn to sew,” Tallulah reminded me. I wrinkled my nose in the mirror, parting my hair with the intention of twisting the front section into space buns, and she laughed. We’d already tried that. I didn’t have the patience for sewing. And I didn’t want to sacrifice my nails, so gardening was a no. I definitely didn’t want to learn how to deliver babies, that was straight up nightmare fuel. Astrid point-blank refused to teach me any combat skills after I’d tried to flip a knife in my hand like they do in the movies one time.

“Maybe there are shadow dogs I could walk. I was a great dog walker, you know. Animals like me.”

Tallulah gave me a slightly hesitant smile, clearly trying to gauge how serious I was on the shadow dogs front. Her and Meera were great—lovely, in fact—but we’d have never been friends in the outside world, and we all knew it. The only thing we had in common was whatever genetic quirk allowed us to see monsters. Meera was quiet and self-contained, and Tallulah was a motivated, creative go-getter, if not kind of a goody-two-shoes.

And I was just Verity. A hodgepodge of vague interests that I wasn’t disciplined enough to turn into hobbies; vain enough to care about my aesthetic, but not creative enough to do anything cool with it; and funny, but in a self-deprecating way that had a fifty-fifty chance of making people either laugh or get super uncomfortable.

Then again, even if we did have things in common, I doubted I’d have been able to cultivate proper friendships with them. I had enough self-awareness to know that I was carrying around a boatload of abandonment issues from childhood, which made me cagey on the friend front. I was also self-aware enough to know I wasn’t going to do anything about it.

“Maybe I could help out in the kitchen,” I suggested, trying to sound more like a normal person and less like myself. “I like to cook.”

“That’s a good idea,” Tallulah agreed hurriedly. They’d never outright said it, but I was pretty sure they both secretly thought I wasn’t pulling my weight around here.

That was because they didn’t know how much dick I was getting. My contributions were just as valuable as sewing curtains, right?

“I’ll go ask the chef today.”

“Well, maybe today wouldn’t be the best.” I caught Tallulah’s frown behind me in the mirror. “There’s a festival tonight, remember? The palace is sort of in chaos getting ready for it. Apparently, Shades from all over the realm come to see the shadow performers.”

“Well, why didn’t you say?” I perked up that, undoing the space buns I’d started so I could do something more elaborate. Fresh Shades were exactly the kind of excitement I needed.

Maybe if I was lucky, I’d find Fester a dad.

And if I was luckier, I’d find me a Daddy.

The festival was outside, so instead of heading straight along the path that led from Elverston House to the palace in the evening, we veered right to the extensive gardens in front of the circular building instead. As always, we were followed discreetly from a distance, and I waggled my eyebrows at a blushing Meera, who absolutely knew who our guard was. He’d been circling her ever since we’d arrived, but in a reverent, respectful way that I would have found super off-putting because I was stuffed to the gills with daddy issues and unrealistic expectations.

Meera was into it, though. She was more of a slow burner. Good for her, I guess.

“Your outfit is a hit,” Tallulah said, flashing me a grin. I’d been worried the pink tulle baby doll dress, white fishnets, and bedazzled sneakers were going to be “too much,” but I also fundamentally disagreed with “too much” as a concept, so I’d promptly disregarded the concern. “You look great.”

“A colorful dress is such an easy win in the shadow realm, it feels like cheating, but thanks,” I replied, bobbing a curtsy midstride. “And so do you—both of you.”

Tallulah was in one of her own creations—she was an amazing seamstress and favored a lot of velvets and jewel tones. Usually, they were perfectly tailored, but maybe she’d made a mistake with the sizing because she kept fidgeting with the tight bust of today’s dress. Meera was more of a jeans girl, but in a cool, relaxed way that I could never pull off. I was either naked, or my outfit was dialed all the way up to eleven and there was no in-between.

Unfortunately, my attention-getting outfit was having the effect of actually getting attention, which was always a bit of a double-edged sword. I was better suited to small gatherings than large crowds, and court was just one large crowd all the time. It was like living in a fishbowl.

If only I felt the confidence that I strutted around pretending to have.

“Are you okay?” Meera asked, nudging me with her shoulder. “You’re quiet tonight.”

“Am I? I think I’m in a contemplative mood.”

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