Page 36 of The Vampire and the Case of the Baleful Banshee

He smiled and said, ‘I know. It’s okay.’ I could see he was hurting.

‘It’s not okay. Nothing about this is okay!’

‘Poor word selection,’ he said carefully. ‘I’m … I’m not trying to pressure you, Bunny. You asked what the zing is and I’m telling you. We may be fated but you can still reject the bond – reject me. You still have a choice.’ He was trying to make it better but I was reeling. I couldn’t deal with this right now; it was all a mistake, a horrible, horrible joke.

‘I need to go,’ I blurted out. As I reached for my jacket, I turned back to him. ‘I do like you – you know that I like you. But I won’t be told by anyone who I can and cannot love. I’m sorry. Thanks for the date, it was amazing until…’ I gestured vaguely with my hand.

I spun on my heel and ran to the nearest exit, which was the garage door. Shit! He’d driven me here. I could call a taxi, but at that moment I was feeling rather sick. The walk would do me good. It was a long way back to town but I would do it on my own, much like I would probably live the rest of my life. Alone, alone, alone, like Mary, Mary, who was quite contrary.

I felt a little hysterical. Was I rejecting Connor because I hated being told what to do? Possibly. Was it a huge mistake? Probably. But even knowing that, I couldn’t make myself turn around. A band of iron wrapped around my chest and I couldn’t breathe. Was this what a panic attack felt like, or what it felt like to walk away from your fated fucking mate?

I made it to the gate before he caught up with me. He took my hand and turned me round to face him. Whatever he’d been about to say died when he caught sight of my face. He reached up and brushed a tear from my cheek. I hadn’t even realised I was crying.

‘It’s okay,’ he murmured. ‘It’s okay. Just breathe, honey.’

I bent double and tried but the air wouldn’t move into my lungs. I crouched down, then sat on the gravel. ‘I can’t breathe!’ I panted. The world was swirling around me. Fuck.

‘You can. It’s okay,’ Connor soothed. ‘Breathe.’ He sat beside me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his warmth.

I took a breath and then another one. The dizziness faded and my chest started to rise and fall freely.

We sat on the cold gravel for a ridiculous length of time. The silence wasn’t heavy or harsh; it rolled around us like a comfort blanket and I wanted to stay wrapped up in it. But I had things to do, murders to solve, pets to feed. ‘I need to go,’ I said, finally breaking the spell.

‘I know. I’ll drive you.’ He held out his callused hand to me and I met his blue eyes as I took it.

Chapter 21

I scrubbed my face clean and threw the dress into the laundry basket; I couldn’t bear to see it. Then I looked in the mirror. My green eyes were miserable, tears close to the surface. I looked like shit.

I left the bathroom and threw myself on the bed, buried my face in my pillow and screamed until my lungs burned. Funnily enough, screaming into a pillow solved nothing. For fuck’s sake. I sat up and crossed my legs.

Fluffy came in and whined as he cocked his head back and forth trying to figure out what was wrong. ‘Connor told me that we’re fated mates,’ I told him. ‘So I ran away. Awesome, right?’

Fluffy looked at me balefully, then he gave a sympathetic whine and climbed up on the bed next to me. He fixed me with golden eyes, ready to listen. I scruffled his ears. It was easier to be honest with him.

‘Besides you, only one person in my entire life has ever loved me for me, really loved me – my nana. Mum and Dad … their love is supposed to be all-encompassing and unconditional, but it’s not. It never was. They loved me only if I behaved exactly as they wanted, and Mum always looked at me like I was a disappointment. It used to kill me until I learned not to care anymore. But Connor… Am I insane for running away from a man who could really love me?’

Fluffy cocked his head then he barked once. It was hard to tell what that meant. He laid his head on my lap, which made me smile. Even if he thought I was an idiot, Fluffy still loved me; no one loves as unconditionally as a dog. I ran my hand over his coat.

Shadow jumped up on the bed with a squeak and I smiled at him. Maybe cats love unconditionally, too. After seeing nothing fun was going on, he jumped back down and wandered out. Okay, maybe cats don’t love unconditionally.

I took a deep breath and let it out with a whoosh. ‘I think the universe really doesn’t like me.’ I kept stroking Fluffy’s fur, letting that small comfort relax me. ‘I don’t need one more person to love me because it’s an obligation.’

Fluffy looked sad. ‘It’s okay. You’re safe. It’s Bunny and Fluffy forever.’ I gave a wan smile. ‘I know you love me for me,’ I paused. ‘Well, that and the fact that I feed you.’

He growled lightly and nudged my hand with his nose; I guessed he disagreed that his was cupboard love.

‘Maybe I should give up on men.’ I sighed. ‘I need to focus on work and look after you and Shadow. That’s enough, isn’t it? I don’t need anyone to love me, I need to learn to love myself.’ I fell back on the pillow and Fluffy stretched out with his head on my arm.

I eventually let his reassuring presence soothe me and I fell asleep.

My phone jolted me awake: Sidnee. I groaned. I was sure she was trying to catch me to ask about my date so I considered ignoring it, but it could be work related. In the end I swiped to answer. ‘Hey, Sidnee, you okay?’

‘Yeah. How was your date? You have to tell me everything.’

I really didn’t want to think about it and I wanted to talk about it even less. ‘It was a disaster. I don’t want to talk about it.’

Silence for a beat. ‘I’m coming over.’

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