“Why don’t you go out? Is it because you don’t know anybody here?”
“Penny tries to drag me to places, but I rather enjoy staying home.” I shrug.
“Seems to me like you’re avoiding meeting people,” he remarks astutely. I look away and shrug again.
“Maybe,” I say noncommittally. “What about you? What do you do on weekends?”
“It varies,” he says with a shrug. “Hang out with the guys; visit my folks from time to time. Sometimes I stay in and do nothing.”
“Oh? Is that all? No parties? No girlfriends?”
He leans in close and lifts my chin with his forefinger, gazing at me with such intensity that I’m unable to look away or move away even if I want to. I look back into his smoky gray eyes, mesmerized.
“I don’t have a girlfriend, Nic. It’s not my style to put the moves on one girl while I’m in a relationship with another. I don’t date a lot; I have never been in a serious relationship in all of my thirty-five years; I attend parties only when I absolutely have to.”
I nod and shift away from him on the pretext of looking out of the window. My heart soars when he says he doesn’t have a girlfriend. But I’m somewhat alarmed to know that a smoking hot guy like him has managed to avoid being in a serious relationship!
“You haven’t ever been in a relationship?” I ask wide-eyed.
“Why would I waste my time in a relationship when I know it would lead nowhere?”
“How could you possibly know that?”
“Because I never intend to get married,” he says, looking straight at me.
I am taken aback by his answer. I want to know why, but I bite my tongue to stop myself from asking. Obviously, his reasons are deeply personal. He backed off, didn’t he, when he realized I didn’t want to talk about my past? I have to give him the same consideration.
I don’t know why it makes me so sad to hear him say that he doesn’t ever intend to marry. It’s not like I was imagining a future with Lex. Well, that’s not entirely true. While I am insanely attracted to him, I also feel something deeper, which scares me. I just don’t know what it is I feel for him yet. And I will never know.
In a way, I’m glad that we had this conversation. I have never done a casual fling, and I don’t intend on starting one now. And Lex wants nothing but a casual fling.
“That doesn’t mean I don’t have needs, Nic,” he continues after a brief pause. His eyes have gone very dark again. My lips part as I inhale sharply.
“So what are we going to do?” he asks, speaking more to himself than me.
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“I know we decided that our relationship would be strictly professional, but this is killing me, Nic.”
“Lex…”
“Go out a date with me.”
“But you don’t date!”
“I said I don’t date a lot. But my need for you is driving me out of my mind. I know you’re attracted to me as well.”
“I don’t think we should change the nature of our relationship. Anything romantic between us creates unwanted complications.”
“Well, I had figured you for a girl who loves romance, but if you’d rather we go back to my place and tear the clothes off each other, that’s fine by me as well,” he says with a wicked grin.
“That’s not what I meant at all!” I say as shock wars with lust. I want to go back to his place and tear his clothes off him.
“Then say yes to the date. I promise I’ll not do anything you don’t want me to do.”
I am tempted, so very tempted to say yes. I mean, what could possibly go wrong? But I force myself to remember my promise.
“Lex, I’m not sure it’s such a good idea. One thing leads to another and before you know it, things go sour and I’ll be out on my ear, looking for a new job. I can’t risk it. I simply cannot.”