Page 104 of Darkest Deception

No. It never did, but I never dared to hope.

“Tell me, dammit!”

“No!” I roar back.

I slam a hand on his chest, frustration and anger getting to me.

“How dare you make me hope?” I shove at his shoulder.

His wide eyes are stuck on me.

“How dare you make me believe your touch was for anything but my company!” I push at his shoulder again, and he lets me. “How fucking dare you make me want you? How dare you bring me to my knees, to make me beg for you, to make me crave you like crazy, to the point where I can’t think.” My hands grasp at my hair, my throat scratchy. “How dare you make me want a forever with you when I was told to never believe in one!” My voice turns hoarse as I push a finger at his hard chest. “Did you do this on purpose? Make me fall for you so I come bearing my weaknesses to you, allowing you to take advantage of it?” My voice grows loud once more.

Helia grabs my fingers and pushes it away from him, getting in my face. “I fucking hate how much I want you!”

“Same here!” I shout.

Our eyes connect as we both breathe heavily, our chests rising and falling from the exposed secrets.

“I hate how crazy you made me, and how I cannot think when I’m around you,” Helia continues, and I feel my eyes tear up.

He won’t keep me.

“I hate it all, and yet I kept you standing. I kept coming back to you again and again.” His voice lowers. “I hate that I am willing to risk my life to stay here with you, Emerald.”

A tear rolls down my cheek, and my lip trembles.

Helia’s eyes follow the tear’s trail before they slam back to my eyes.

And then his lips crash against mine.

I’m frozen for a split second, then I kiss him back. I grab his shoulders in a tight hold, and my stomach clenches. Desire, pain, and overwhelming emotions grasp at me like never before.

Kissing him deeper, I feel his tongue slip into my mouth as his arm wraps around my waist. His fingers grip my jaw, and he tilts my head up. I kiss him and kiss him, feeling more tears roll down my face.

I will never have him.

I will never be able to have him if I want my company.

I can’t have both.

He’s the only one who has ever made me feel so special. He’s the only one who has made me feel like I could conquer the world, and he would be there to push me further.

His care, his sharp eyes, his strong hold, his heart that cares so deeply yet so quietly, it makes me weep.

I wish…

I wish for you to fall in love with me as madly as I am in love with you.

Helia dips, his lips softly pulling at my upper lip, then diving back in for another kiss. And I am grasping at his hair, his shoulders, everything he can give me.

When we pull apart, we are both gasping, but all I can think about is just how we will go back to how we were, at each other’s throat.

But for now, I want to stay right here. In his arms.

“Helia.” My voice is a soft, pained whisper as I look at him through my lashes.

He shakes his head, keeping his arm around my waist.

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