Page 99 of Darkest Deception

I became them, didn’t I? The Madden sisters made me just like them.

Why would anyone want me in their life when they know what I have done?

Getting off the floor, I swallow through the thick bundle of thorns stuck in my throat and walk tentatively towards the bathroom, feeling numb, empty, and tired.

Sighing, I remove my clothes, walk under the shower, turn the water on, and stand under the steaming hot water. Clouds form all around me, my vision blurring as the scalding hot water burns my skin.

Grabbing hold of the loofah, I put soap on it and scrub.

I scrub at the slash marks on my arms.

On my legs.

The cuts and burn marks on my stomach.

I scrub till I feel my skin burn.

I scrub harder until the skin turns from pale to red.

The hot water makes me hiss in pain as the blazing sensation sears through my whole body.

And I keep going.

Doesn’t she have perfect porcelain skin?

How would it look decorated?

Scream louder. I love hearing the sounds of people screaming. It makes me giddy. Beg for my mercy.

No. No.

These gifts might stay with you for the rest of your life.

Your parents may see this and feel sad, or is your dad too power hungry to even know his daughter gets these marks because of how weak she is?

Please.

A sob climbs up my throat as tears coat my eyes, and my hand gets tired. The loofah drops from my grip.

Pressing a hand to my mouth, I drop to my knees, my eyes shutting, and the memories take over.

There is no reason to believe I deserve anything like love, hope, and a happy future. I became who I feared the most.

I am a monster.

I am ruthless.

I made the weak cry.

I am the worst of them all. I shouldn’t have taken that step.

I am such a disappointment.

Sobs wreck my body, my walls crumbling as each brick falls to the floor into a broken mess, the world behind the wall witnessing my destruction. When will it be enough for me?

When will it stop?

I try to take deep breaths to calm myself, but it only gets worse, and I struggle to breathe under the hot water. The steam in the bathroom is so thick, I am barely able to see my arms, legs, or any part of myself.

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