Page 50 of Undoing

“Oh, uh, yeah. Okay.” Before sitting, Cass pulled Rebecca’s chair out for her, then hurried to Aunt Wills’s side to do the same for her.

Rebecca’s heart beat a little faster at Cass’s politeness. She was the polar opposite of Samantha. Rebecca’s interest in Samantha had been purely physical. She had been intrigued by the sheer power the woman exuded. Unfortunately, she was in too deep when she realized it wasn’t power. It was control. Samantha needed control of everything and everyone in her life. And if you challenged that control, you were severely punished.

Cass, however, had this peculiar and intoxicating mix of confidence and… humility. Not to mention Cass’s tendencies to be chivalrous and thoughtful. Even after knowing Cass for only a few hours — in Rebecca’s brain — Rebecca could see what drew her to Cass. But there was also this fear inside Rebecca that she didn’t deserve someone like that. Not after everything she went through… and did with Samantha. And since that thought made Rebecca sad, she put it out of her mind and focused on nothing but dinner. Dinner was safe.

“So, Cass?” Willamena began surreptitiously eyeing her niece and trying to read the expression on her face. It kept changing, which concerned Willamena. Rebecca was at war with her feelings, but Willamena suspected Rebecca couldn’t understand why she was at war. At least not entirely. “How is the mural at the hospital coming along?”

Cass frowned. Aunt Wills knew she had finished the mural before Rebecca went into the hospital. When she received a glance from Rebecca and a slight nod from Aunt Wills, Cass caught on.

“I finally finished,” Cass answered with a smile. “I keep getting texts with pics of the kids in front of it, so I think it’s a hit.”

“Mural?” Rebecca inquired. “Are you an artist?”

Cass wiped her mouth to hide the disappointment. “I paint,” she said vaguely. “I did some charity work at the children’s hospital.”

“Oh! That’s… I keep saying sweet when it comes to you.” Rebecca pursed her lips. “I’m going to need to find different adjectives.” Like sexy, hot, attractive…

“It wasn’t much. Those kids have to deal with so much with their illnesses. I just thought brightening the place up would be nice for them.”

“Don’t let her downplay her talent,” Willamena tsked. “Her work is in Sumptor Galleries.”

Cass bowed her head, slightly embarrassed by the attention. Though if Rebecca was impressed, that was a plus.

“Sumptor Galleries? I’m guessing that’s a good thing?”

Willamena bit her lip to keep from cursing. Of course Rebecca doesn’t remember Eve and Lainey or Sumptor Galleries. With Rebecca’s memories stuck in 2001, she and Eve had never met or worked together. In fact, Eve would have been — Willamena quickly did the math in her head — thirteen.

“It’s a very good thing,” Willamena answered for Cass, who looked like she was about to cry. “Sumptor Galleries are some of the most prestigious in several countries.”

Impressed, Rebecca looked at Cass. “Wow. Sounds like something I’d be interested in.” Cass hadn’t even looked up to acknowledge the praises Aunt Wills was handing out. She just continued to stuff her face with pasta. Humility. Rebecca glanced at Cass’s plate and noticed the vegetables had been pushed to the side. And, since Cass seemed uncomfortable with the compliments, Rebecca decided to change the subject. “You should try the squash,” she murmured.

Cass looked up sharply. “What?” Rebecca constantly tried to get Cass to eat more vegetables despite Cass’s aversion to them. She especially disliked squash, but Cass remembered trying them once before at Rebecca’s request.

“The squash.” Rebecca nodded at Cass’s plate. “You push your veggies to the side. But Aunt Wills makes the best squash. You should try it.”

Cass glanced at Aunt Wills, who lifted a shoulder. “‘Kay.”

Cass flung herself on the couch, wrestling the pillow from under her and hugging it to her chest. Dinner had been as wonderful as it was painful. Spending time with Rebecca would always be Cass’s favorite thing in the world to do. But sitting there needing to touch Rebecca, to kiss her, to just be with her how they were before and Rebecca not feeling the same way was a special kind of torture. And not the pleasurable kind Mistress gave her.

Tears sprang to Cass’s eyes. “Mistress.” The word was a whisper… perhaps a prayer. All Cass knew was she needed Rebecca back. The first time they met, it took them less than an hour to get naked and do things Cass had never even fantasized about. This Rebecca was reserved. Careful. Cass knew and understood why. Mistress didn’t exist in Rebecca’s mind yet. Samantha did, though. And Cass couldn’t help but think that’s what was holding Rebecca back. Obviously, Cass didn’t expect Rebecca to jump in her arms and make mad, passionate love to her. But to be so… nervous around Cass? That hurt.

“Fucking Samantha!” Cass growled. She swiped angrily at her tears, sniffling when they wouldn’t stop flowing. She and Rebecca were just getting started, and now… now that beautiful life was on hold for God knows how long. “Fucking tumor,” Cass muttered through another round of tears.

Since Cass had nothing better to do with her life at the moment, she decided the best way to deal with her depression was with some ice cream and a mindless movie. She wasn’t in the mood to watch anything, but the silence in the house was deafening. The need for any noise to keep her out of her head was building in her gut. If Cass didn’t get a handle on this depression, she wasn’t going to be any good for Rebecca when her memory came back. She certainly didn’t want to risk resenting Rebecca when what was happening wasn’t her fault.

Cass had just turned on the TV when she heard a knock at the door. She wiped her eyes dry before getting up to answer it. She wasn’t expecting anyone, but with friends like hers, it could be anyone. Well, except Hunter. And maybe not Mo or Patty since they were probably on Hunter’s side. Cass went through her list of friends, giving herself many different excuses why it couldn’t be any one of them.

“How about you just answer the freakin’ door?” she mumbled to herself. Cass was sure her friends would understand if she had a red nose and a tear-stained face. And if it wasn’t a friend… well, then she didn’t give a fuck what they thought. She stopped in her tracks right before she got to the door. What if it was her parents? Shit. Cass hadn’t told them what was happening with Rebecca. Hell, she couldn’t remember if she told them about the tumor. Everything happened so fast, and Rebecca was adamant that she didn’t want anyone to know. “Please don’t be my parents.”

Cass took a deep breath and opened the door. That breath came out in a surprised ‘whoosh’ when she saw Eve standing there. “E-Eve! Hi!” Calm it down, Cass. She’s just a friend. And… your boss. Cass glanced past Eve.

“If you’re looking for my better half, she’s at home with the kids,” Eve smirked.

“Oh. Um… Becca isn’t here. She’s staying with her aunt until… for… well…”

“Cass, I’m here to speak to you.” Eve had a plethora of empathy for Cass’s bumbling sadness.

“Oh,” Cass said again. Eloquent, Cass. “Listen, I know I owe you some canvases…”

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