Page 31 of Undoing

Oh, she thought about it. It was on the tip of her tongue to say yes, but she didn’t. “We can’t keep wondering, baby. If it’s malignant, it’s best to get it out now. Even if it’s benign, the headaches and nightmares are still there. I just want this over with. But promise me something, please?”

Cass held her breath as she nodded. God, she didn’t want to hear Rebecca talking about dying. That’s not the energy Cass wished to put forth today.

“After all this is done, promise we can ask Eve and Lainey to use their private island. I want to get away, lay on the beach, drink mai tais, listen to the waves with you lying next to me, and not think of one damn thing while we’re there.”

“Sounds like a dream, babe. I’m in. But, uh… I don’t know how to make a mai tai. If you want a pina colada, I got you covered.”

Rebecca chuckled. “I don’t care what I’m drinking as long as you’re with me.”

“And then we’ll make love in a hammock. I’ve always wanted to try that,” Cass said as she guided Rebecca out of the bathroom. She picked up a duffel bag with some essentials Rebecca would need at the hospital. With luck, Rebecca would only be there for two days. Three at the most. Of course, Cass was hoping for the former. She wouldn’t be leaving Rebecca’s side, but a hospital chair isn’t as comfortable as their bed.

“The way we make love? That hammock would be swinging upside down.” Rebecca knew Cassidy was trying to distract her, and Rebecca loved her for that.

“Heh, yeah, it would,” Cass smirked. “What a fucking ride it would be.” They were downstairs and at the front door when Cass felt Rebecca hesitate. She kneeled and helped Rebecca put on her shoes. “I bet there’s a pool. And a jacuzzi. Lainey sets these places up like a boss.” She stood and took Rebecca’s chin in her hand. “Pina coladas, sun, and fun, babe. You keep that with you today.”

“I wish you could be with me.”

“Me, too. Believe me. But look,” Cass pulled out Rebecca’s wedding ring that was on a chain around Cass’s neck. Rebecca couldn’t wear it during surgery and didn’t want to risk losing it by taking it off at the hospital. “I have you right here with me. Hunter said she’d be in the OR with you. You got this, yeah?”

“Yeah.” She stretched up and kissed Cassidy deeply. “I’m ready,” she announced once the kiss ended.

I’m not, Cass answered silently. Outwardly, she smiled brightly and opened the door. We just have to get through a few hours.

“You’ll stay in there with her the whole time?” Cass had yet to release Rebecca’s hand even though they were about to wheel her away. The surgical team had already come in to introduce themselves and get Rebecca prepared. By then, things got very real for Cass.

“The whole time,” Hunter reassured. “Dr. Lima is the best at this, Cass. I know you’re feeling nervous after reviewing the paperwork and the possible complications, but we’ll take good care of your girl.”

“Her girl is lying right here,” Rebecca said softly, reminding them that she hated being talked about like she wasn’t in the room.

“Sorry, Becca,” Hunter smiled. She stood aside when the circulating technician came in to get Rebecca. “Cass, it’s time.”

Cass gritted her teeth to keep from crying. She leaned down and kissed Rebecca gently on the lips. “You go in there and crack the whip,” she whispered. “I’ll be here waiting for you when you get out, okay?”

Rebecca nodded, unable to keep the tears at bay. They said their “I love yous,” and Rebecca was wheeled away with Cass holding on to her fingertips as long as she could. She took a deep breath, gathering the strength she would need for the next three to five hours.

“Hunt?” Hunter stopped and turned to Cass. “You bring her back to me.”

Hunter nodded. As a former trauma surgeon, she knew better than to promise anything. Too many things could go wrong. Especially when dealing with the brain. Still, she patted Cass on the shoulder and did just that before following Rebecca to the operating room.

“I’m going to get some coffee in the cafeteria,” Ellie announced. She had joined Cass in the waiting room thirty minutes after they took Rebecca. They were now an hour in, and Cass was pacing like a caged lion.

“Nah, uh, no. Thank you, though.” Cass stopped pacing for a second. “Ellie?”

Ellie looked back, her eyebrows raised in question. “Change your mind?”

Cass shook her head. “I just wanted to thank you for being here. You know Rebecca didn’t want anyone to know about this, so having your support helps a lot.” She looked at her watch. An hour and five minutes in. Why was time going by so fucking slow? “Aunt Wills texted that she was on her way, so you’ll have someone to help you with…” She gestured at herself. “This.”

Because she suspected Cass needed it, Ellie came back and hugged her. “I’m not going for coffee because I can’t handle you, Cass. I’m going because I’m nervous, and doing something as mundane as walking to the cafeteria helps me center myself.”

Cass smiled. “I love that you’re always honest with your feelings. It makes me less… scared to have my own. G’wan, and get your coffee. I’ll keep the floor occupied until you get back.”

Ellie patted Cass’s cheek. “You’d think they’d learn to put treadmills in waiting rooms,” she winked and took off for that bit of centering.

Cass resumed her pacing, looking at her watch every thirty seconds. That wasn’t helping matters much. She tried waiting a little longer between each time check, but the farthest she got was another five seconds. She shook her arm as though that would make the time go faster.

“Cass?”

Cass spun around and frowned. “H-hey. What are you doing here?” Did Ellie or Aunt Wills call them? Oh, Rebecca wasn’t going to be happy about this.

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