Page 87 of Undoing

Rebecca shook her head, tears threatening to fall. “I hurt you?”

Cass shook her head, taking Rebecca’s trembling hands in hers. “Do you think I’d be here trying to win your heart, trying to help you remember if you hurt me? That’s not who you are, Becca.”

“Yet, here we are in a BDSM club where apparently I employ others to torture…”

“Stop, babe. No one is tortured here anymore. While you have rooms available for those who crave the hardcore stuff, you’ve completely redefined the way things work here. You scrubbed this place clean of toxic, so-called Dommes who get off on humiliation and manipulation. In doing so, you’ve taught me — and everyone else who comes in here — that submission and masochism are not synonyms, nor are sadism and domination. You’ve given subs back their dignity and the power to decide what happens to them. That is what a real Domme does.”

Rebecca found it difficult to believe what Cass said. She certainly didn’t feel like someone who could have pulled that off. She stepped away, unable to think clearly under Cass’s intense stare.

“Were there others before you?” Rebecca asked softly. She wasn’t even sure she wanted to know that answer. First, she didn’t want to think about being anyone else’s Domme. It was hard enough to think of herself as Cass’s. And second, it made her feel… weird inside thinking about anyone else other than Cass. Do you think I’d be here trying to win your heart…?

“Not like me, no,” Cass answered truthfully. “You had others in this room, but it was never about sex. It was about rebuilding your confidence and the reputation of this club.”

Rebecca stood at the foot of the bed, erotic images of her and Cass flashing in her mind. Were they real or wishful thinking? Then came the comprehension of what Cass said.

“Wait, not like you?” It was never about sex. “A-are you saying you’re the first person I had… sex with after Samantha?”

Cass nodded, trying to gauge how that made Rebecca feel. Would she want to explore her options now that she had what was essentially a do-over?

Rebecca exhaled sharply, leaning her elbows on the bed. A slow smile spread on her face. “She didn’t break me.”

Rebecca spoke soft enough that Cass wasn’t sure she heard her right. “Sorry?”

“Samantha didn’t break me,” Rebecca repeated with more confidence. “The tattoo, the belly ring. Everything you’ve told me. All of it means that I became what Samantha said I could never be. Free, rebellious, in control.” She looked up at Cass. “Loved. I could have easily fallen into a number of horrible situations or relationships that meant nothing, but I didn’t. I waited for someone like you who wants to win my heart even though yours is breaking.”

A tear rolled down Cass’s cheek. “I thought I understood why you made the decisions you made, but I didn’t until right now.”

Rebecca went to Cass, reaching up to wipe the tear away. Her fingertips lingered on Cass’s soft skin. God, she wished she could remember everything she felt and did with this woman. But even without those memories, Rebecca was drawn to Cass unlike any other.

“I’m so sorry, Cass.”

Cass shook her head, placing her hand over Rebecca’s. “You have nothing to apologize for.”

Maybe I do, Rebecca thought. Of all the things she was learning, the one that stood out the most was how much she held back from Cass. Was that on purpose, or a defense mechanism she kept in place out of some irrational fear? She trusted Cass now when she couldn’t remember anything. Was it Cass she didn’t trust before — or herself?

“Are you okay, Becca? Does your head hurt?”

Rebecca blinked, her thoughts falling away at Cass’s question. “A little,” she confessed. She reluctantly backed away when all she really wanted to do was kiss Cass, to feel what it was like. “Ahem. So, we, um…” Rebecca looked at the bed. Dear lord, the images that flooded her mind then made her insides heat up. “We made love here for the first time?”

Cass was intrigued by the blush creeping up Rebecca’s beautiful neck, but she wasn’t about to lie. “No.”

Rebecca’s eyebrows shot up. “No?”

“We fucked in here,” Cass answered bluntly. “You flipped my world upside down in this room and taught me that whatever I thought sex, desire, and passion were didn’t even come close. You taught me that letting go of my inhibitions, fears, and biases would open up completely new sensations for my mind, body, and soul. That’s what we did in this room.”

“Well…” Rebecca swallowed, her mouth dry… other places, not so much. Unfortunately, the faster her heart beat, the more her head hurt. It was fucking annoying when she really wanted to explore what they did in this Pink Room more in-depth.

Cass could practically see the pain in Rebecca’s eyes. “I think that’s enough for tonight, babe. You’re hurting, and I don’t want to overdo it more than I already have.”

“Shouldn’t it be my decision on how much I can take?”

“Normally, it would be, but my priority is…”

“My welfare and recovery,” Rebecca finished with a playful eye roll.

Cass chuckled. “You mock, but it’s true.”

“I’m not mocking, Cass. I think it’s sweet. And I think you’re probably right. As much as I would like to further… discuss what happened here, I’m getting a little tired.”

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