Page 79 of Undoing

“Actually, it does. You need to get the lay of the land before you navigate it fully.”

Rebecca laughed. “Why do you make it sound so easy to explain the unexplainable?”

Cass shrugged with a grin. “I’ve always seen things differently. Maybe that helps. Listen, why don’t we take your stuff up to the bedroom, and you can get settled in while I go pick up some food?”

“I thought you were going to dash it here?”

Cass bit her lip. Dash it. “I was, but I thought I’d give you a little time to yourself. You know, just let you ease yourself into being here. Maybe take a shower, get into jammies and fluffy socks, look around.” She lifted a shoulder. “We have all night to do nothing but sit around in the here and now.”

“That sounds… perfect, actually.”

“Cool,” Cass smiled. “I’d, uh, run you a bath, but I’d prefer to be here for that. I meant,” she blew out a breath, embarrassed by the innuendo. “I didn’t mean… I just think it’s better if I’m close, you know, in case something happens. I’m not making this any better.”

Rebecca laughed. “It makes me feel better that I’m not the only one stumbling over my words.”

Cass scoffed playfully. “Everyday occurrence for me, babe. Especially when I’m around you. C’mon, I’ll show you where the bedroom is.”

Rebecca sat on the huge bed, her feet swinging back and forth. Cass had left a few minutes before, and now Rebecca didn’t know what to do with herself. This was her house, and she felt like a guest trying not to disturb anything.

Look around, Becca. Nothing is off-limits. It’s all yours.

Those were the words Cass left her with. “So get up and look around, Rebecca. That’s what you’re here for,” she told herself, finally hopping off the bed. She could take a shower, or she could snoop for a bit first. “Is it really snooping if it’s your stuff? Also, you may want to stop talking to yourself.”

She shook her head at her ridiculousness, pursing her lips in thought. Where should she start? The medicine cabinet? Nah, too cliche. She eyed the closet.

“Let’s see what kind of woman Cass Giles is. Hell, let’s see what kind of woman Rebecca Giles is. Also, you’re still talking to yourself.”

Rebecca snickered as she padded to the closet door. Why was she nervous about this? What did she think she’d find behind the door? After a deep breath, Rebecca opened the door and walked inside. The room was larger than she expected and much tidier, thanks to the drawers and shelves that lined it. Their clothes were color-coordinated, and their shoes were meticulously shelved. It was a far cry from what Rebecca was used to with Samantha. The more addicted Samantha became, the less she cared about neatness. It came to be too much for Rebecca to keep up, even more so when the abuse got worse.

Rebecca walked to the side of the closet that had more color. Since she’d only seen Cass in black, white, or gray, Rebecca shockingly assumed the more colorful side was hers. When had she embraced color into her life? Was this after Cass? As she rummaged through the outfits — impeccable and powerful outfits and lots of pink — she tried to imagine herself in them. Oh, she wasn’t ready to try them on just yet, but an imaginary wardrobe change montage wouldn’t hurt anyone.

There was also a spattering of jeans and casual wear. So many clothes, she thought, testing the quality with a fingertip. Before Samantha, Rebecca had cared about her appearance. To make it in the male-dominated world of business, a woman had to exude confidence and intelligence. By the end, Rebecca was lucky to get out of the house for more than five minutes. There were no dates and definitely no more working for Rebecca. Her wardrobe dwindled to skimpy lingerie Samantha had bought her. And, of course, oversized sweatpants and sweatshirts on those rare nights she didn’t have to service Samantha.

Rebecca wanted those disturbing thoughts out of her head, so she went over to Cass’s side. Touching Cass’s clothes felt a little weird—almost perverted, especially when Rebecca leaned in to smell the white button-down shirt. That didn’t stop her, though. She did, however, stop herself from actually wrapping the shirt around her. To keep the temptation at bay, Rebecca moved to the drawers. Was this an invasion of Cass’s privacy?

“We’re married,” Rebecca murmured repeatedly. “This is totally normal. Besides, she brought you underwear. Why can’t you see hers?” Rebecca rolled her eyes and wondered if she could blame talking to herself on the side effects of the tumor. She drew in a deep breath and opened the top drawer.

Rebecca’s eyes widened, and she quickly closed the drawer. “Nope. Not ready for that.” Her piqued curiosity, however, had her opening it back up for a peek. “Just a little peek,” she reassured herself. There was an array of sex toys, as impeccably organized as the rest of the closet. Dildos, flogs, cuffs, blindfolds… they were all there. Is this what kind of relationship she and Cass had?

Rebecca closed the drawer again, leaning against it for a moment to catch her breath. Her heart was beating so fast it was almost painful. Her body hurt. There was a need for… something, but Rebecca couldn’t understand what that need was.

“Okay. In through the nose, out through the mouth.” Rebecca did the breathing exercise a few times. When it didn’t work, she decided getting out of the sex closet was the right thing to do. Sex closet, she scoffed. It’s one drawer. It’s not like it’s an entire room. She narrowed her eyes as she scanned the bedroom. There was no other apparatus that she could see, so maybe that little drawer was just for “special times.” That was the explanation she was going with. She’d worry about the nature of her and Cass’s marriage later. For now, she had more exploring to do before Cass got home.

Rebecca ran her finger across her name on one of the many awards that lined the shelf in the office. Her office. It didn’t take a memory to know that much when her degrees hung on the walls, along with clippings of successful businesses. A tear rolled down Rebecca’s cheek. Maybe Aunt Wills was right. Maybe Samantha didn’t break her.

“Knock, knock.” Cass kept her voice low, not wanting to startle Rebecca.

Rebecca looked back over her shoulder and smiled. “Hey, sorry. I didn’t hear you come in.”

“I figured. You were lost in thought there. Everything okay?” Cass kept her distance, not wanting to crowd Rebecca or make her feel uncomfortable.

“Mmhmm.” Rebecca wiped the tear from her cheek before turning to Cass fully. “I really did all of this?”

“Sure did,” Cass grinned. “And this isn’t even the half of it. You’re a brilliant businesswoman, Becca.”

Rebecca lowered her eyes, blushing at the compliment. “Hopefully, I can still do it. I’ll need to find a job at some point.”

“We can talk about all that later,” Cass said amicably. She wondered how this Rebecca would handle being retired—semi-retired, she corrected herself. “I got a ton of different finger foods. Actually, Ellie helped me pick some stuff out. I thought maybe we could have a little living room picnic.” She noticed Rebecca hadn’t changed her clothes. “If you’re done exploring for the moment, maybe you wanna get comfortable while I get everything set up?”

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