Page 72 of Undoing

“And I still stand by my decision,” Willamena rebutted.

“You kept my marriage from me, Aunt Wills!”

“No, I made an educated compromise not to inundate you with information that could have possibly had a negative effect on your recovery.”

Rebecca stared at Willamena for a full thirty seconds. “That was the most shrinkity shrink sentence I’ve ever heard.”

Willamena’s lips curved into an amused smile. “Shrinkity shrink is the most Cass sentence I’ve ever heard.”

Rebecca laughed. “It is, isn’t it? She’s very… expressive with her words.”

“Would you have done anything different had you known you two were married?” Willamena asked. She was sure she knew the answer but thought Rebecca needed to hear herself say it.

“I don’t know. Maybe. We’ll never know now.”

“Rebecca Aisling.”

“Fine. Probably not.” Rebecca made a face at her aunt, causing her to laugh.

“Exactly. And I didn’t keep Cass from you, just the true nature of your relationship. We’re all navigating this together the best we can, Becca.”

“Cass pretty much said the same thing.” Rebecca fiddled with the sheet, appreciating the softness of it. “When did gay marriage become legal?”

“Here in California? I believe it was 2013. And then in 2015, it was legalized in all fifty states.”

“Wow. We’ve come a long way.”

“Hmm. I know you hate talking about politics, so I’ll just say over the past few years, any step forward has been met with two steps back.”

“You sound like Activist Willamena.”

Willamena laughed and playfully slapped Rebecca’s comforter-covered leg. “What do you know about her?”

“Mom used to tell me about all your little adventures: protests here, shutting things down there, and building things up elsewhere.”

Willamena shook her head. “Gwennie always loved the dramatics. The truth is, I volunteered for a few humanitarian agencies, and when those assignments were over, I backpacked through Europe.”

“Mmhmm. That doesn’t explain all the arrests.”

“One time! I was arrested once in Italy for a peaceful protest! It was all for show!” Willamena argued, surprised her sister would tell a young Rebecca about that.

“Ah-ha! I knew it! Mom never mentioned the arrest. You’re such a rebel.”

“And you are a brat!”

Rebecca wiped tears of laughter from her cheeks and rested her head back on the fluffy pillow. “Do you have any regrets?” she asked suddenly.

Willamena rolled to her side and propped herself up on her elbow. “About what?”

Rebecca shrugged. “Anything. The protests, backpacking… or giving it all up for me.”

Willamena smiled sadly. “I have regrets, Rebecca. Some are much bigger than others. But the one thing I don’t regret is taking you in after losing Gwennie and Declan. Taking care of you helped me cope with the loss of my sister, and you, my dear, are my family.”

A tear slipped down Rebecca’s temple and onto the pillow under her head. “I regret so much, Aunt Wills. The worst being getting involved with Samantha. And then staying with her.” She hesitated, almost afraid to hear the answer to the question she had been asking herself for a couple of days now. “Am I sabotaging myself?”

Willamena reached back to get a tissue from her nightstand and handed it to her niece. “Sabotaging, how?”

“I sit here every day and struggle to imagine my life with Cass, especially after our afternoon together. But I don’t know what to envision. As much as I want to, I don’t remember. What if I’m delaying my memory by being too… scared?” Rebecca swiveled her head towards Aunt Wills. “Do you think I should be immersing myself in what my life was before this happened? Would it help?” She dabbed her eyes with the tissue, then turned to mirror Willamena’s position. She propped herself up on her elbow and stared at her aunt. “I’m asking Dr. Woodrow for her professional opinion.”

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