Page 26 of Becoming

Distraught eyes looked up at Eve. “She’s young. Impressionable. Just like I was.”

Comprehension lit in Eve’s eyes. “With Samantha.”

Rebecca nodded. “Cassidy is not immature, but there’s a naiveté to her. She deserves more.”

“More than what? You?”

“Yes. What if I turn out to be like her, Eve?”

“Like Samantha?” Rebecca nodded again, and Eve reached out to take her hands in hers. “Oh, honey, that’s what this is about? You are nothing like that monster. You must know that.”

“I convinced Cassidy to do things, Eve. Things even I have never done before.”

“Convinced her or offered and she said yes? You are projecting your fears from your past onto your present.”

“You sound like my aunt,” Rebecca muttered.

“Well, she is a good therapist. Perhaps you should think about having some sessions with her.”

“I do. Once, sometimes twice a week,” she smirked.

“Show-off,” Eve laughed.

“To be honest, I haven’t told her that, yet. I’ve been trying to work things out in my head before I get her involved. She knows about Cassidy and how old she is, but that’s about it.” She eyed Eve with a smirk. “She says hi, by the way. And that she misses you.”

Eve rolled her eyes playfully. “I don’t know if it’s a blessing or a curse having a friend whose aunt is my therapist.”

“A blessing, of course,” Rebecca winked.

“Mmhmm. It has only been a couple of weeks, but I will go see her. Soon.” Eve studied Rebecca silently for a moment. “May I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Have you thought of this Cassidy since you’ve been here?”

“Only every day,” Rebecca answered honestly.

“Do you miss her?”

“Only every day,” she whispered.

“Then go home, Rebecca.”

“What’s the point, Eve? We spent two days together. No, mere hours. It’s ridiculous that I even feel this way. We don’t even know each other. Besides, she’s probably forgotten about me and moved on. As she should.”

“First, I know you, Rebecca. No one steps into your club without you learning everything there is to learn about them. And, second, knowing you as I do, it’s safe to say you affected her as much as she affected you.”

Rebecca shook her head even as she hoped that what Eve said was true. Believing that Cassidy still thought about her gave her hope. And anxiety. Wow. I could do with a session right now. “I don’t know about that. And Cassidy was a guest of another member. I didn’t do a full workup on her. Her age, her finances, her friends. Basic information that doesn’t tell me what she likes or dislikes. It doesn’t tell me if we’re compatible anywhere other than in bed. Don’t you think that’s important?”

“What I think is important is that you found someone who made you feel something pretty remarkable after everything you’ve been through,” Eve answered gently. “It doesn’t have to take weeks, months, or years to recognize that.” She looked away, a wistfulness in her eyes. “Regret is a bitter pill to swallow, Rebecca. Fear causes you to make extremely regrettable decisions. Even if you think you’re doing the right thing.”

This time it was Rebecca who reached for Eve’s hand in compassion. She knew of Eve’s past. The horrors that she had been through. She also knew that Eve gave up the one person she was in love with in order to “do the right thing.” If Rebecca felt this despondent about a woman she barely knew, she could only imagine what Eve was feeling.

“You can change things, Eve.”

Eve brought her gaze back to Rebecca. “You have no idea how much I wish that were true. There are too many obstacles. Too many lives that can be destroyed.”

“So, you sacrifice your own happiness?”

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