Page 22 of Becoming

“Come for me like I know you can. Let me drink you.”

Oh, God! It was Rebecca—not Mistress—who screamed, arched her back off the bed, and gave Cassidy exactly what she commanded from her.

AM I ALIVE? If she wasn’t, Mistress couldn’t think of a better way to die. That orgasm was so unreal, she still hadn’t caught her breath. Cassidy had yet to move, though that could have been because Mistress had a firm hold of her hair. She couldn’t say she didn’t enjoy feeling Cassidy’s hot breath on her extremely sensitive sex. She would love to stay this way forever.

That thought, coupled with the small kiss she felt Cassidy place on her mound, scared the hell out of Mistress. She extracted her fist from Cassidy’s hair, but even fear didn’t stop her from giving the woman a light, affectionate scratch on her head.

“Go into the bathroom and start the shower for us,” she ordered softly. She had given up trying to figure out why she was treating Cassidy so different than any other client. Not client. No money had been exchanged between the two of them. That, at least, was something Mistress could be happy about.

“Um, Mistress?”

Mistress was brought out of her thoughts by Cassidy timidly calling out for her attention. Does she not want to shower with me? Is that too personal? And, why the hell am I disappointed by that when getting too personal is something I really don’t need?

Cassidy sheepishly looked behind her. Not understanding, Mistress frowned. That is until she remembered what was causing Cassidy to hesitate.

“Oh!” Her lips twitched, but she somehow managed not to laugh. She scooted out from under the younger woman. “Sorry, Cassidy.” Do not laugh. Do not laugh. Do not laugh. This had to be uncomfortable for Cassidy, so Mistress patted her butt cheek and told her to relax. Which, apparently, was not working.

“Cassidy, this is going to hurt if you don’t… let go.” Well, this is awkward. Yet, Mistress felt a certain intimacy had been formed. She didn’t have time to explore that feeling as Cassidy took a deep breath and finally let go. As delicately as she could, Mistress relieved Cassidy of the anal beads.

She frowned when Cassidy didn’t get up right away. Fear that she had hurt her made Mistress’s heart hurt. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, Mistress.” The reply was muffled because of the pillow Cassidy had her face buried in.

“Come here, Cassidy.” There was only a small hesitation before she obeyed. “Are you sure you’re okay? I’m sorry about that.”

Cassidy didn’t answer. Instead, she leaned down, coming close to kissing her. Mistress couldn’t allow that. As much as she wanted it—God, how she wanted it—she couldn’t allow that kind of closeness. She braced a hand on Cassidy’s chest, keeping the distance between them.

“Cassidy,” she breathed. The taller woman lowered her head and sighed, not bothering to hide her disappointment. This hurt—hers and yours—is exactly why you shouldn’t be involved with anyone. “Start the shower. I’ll be right in.” She hoped Cassidy didn’t notice the hitch in her voice.

“Yes, Mistress.”

When Cassidy disappeared into the bathroom, Rebecca gripped the bedpost and pressed her forehead to the cool wood. You shouldn’t want what you can’t have. You should have left her alone. You know a relationship is impossible. She sniffled quietly, telling herself to get over it. The sex was incredible, but that’s all it could be.

“It’s ready, Mistress!” Cassidy called out from the bathroom.

Mistress wiped away any errant tears and squared her shoulders. Just sex, nothing more.

“Thank you,” she said as she walked in, curiously startling Cassidy.

“Yes, Mistress.”

Mistress swept her hair up into a messy bun and grabbed Cassidy’s hand as she walked by her. She let the water wash over her, wash away the depression that wanted to take over. She picked up a loofah, dolloped it with her favorite lavender and chamomile body wash, and handed it to Cassidy.

“Wash me,” she commanded, hoping that having Cassidy’s hands on her would help. Cassidy complied, her eyes never leaving Mistress’s, as she bathed her tenderly. It was all Rebecca had ever wanted. What she had craved all those years ago with Samantha. Something she had never received. Her heart rate and breathing became erratic when Cassidy moved closer.

Mistress moaned softly but didn’t move, when Cassidy progressed lower and cupped Mistress’s sex. She wanted to see how far Cassidy would go in a situation such as this. Her palm rubbed against Mistress’s clit and she closed her eyes to the sensation. The next thing she felt was Cassidy’s lips on her neck. God, that feels incredible. She moaned louder, pressing herself even closer to Cassidy. But, when Cassidy’s lips started to make a path to her lips…

“Cassidy, no.” She pushed Cassidy away and turned around to rinse her body.

“Why?”

Mistress stiffened when Cassidy put her hands on her shoulders.

“Mistress?”

Mistress knelt to pick up the loofah that Cassidy dropped earlier. “Finish in here, and then join me in the room.”

Why? Why did she have to make this so difficult? Why couldn’t she just want sex like everyone else? Mistress snapped a towel off the rod, pissed that she didn’t know which one of them she was questioning. This has to end. It’s what’s best for both of us. She kept telling herself that, hoping she would believe it, as she dressed. Once she was fully dressed, she picked up her mask. This is who you are. Cassidy could never love who you were. You’re broken. You’re too old. She shook her head sadly before putting the mask on.

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