Page 3 of The Fae Lord

Except, it wasn’t his touch.

Was it?

I rub my temples.

How am I supposed to know what is real? Since he gave me that vision, or I saw it, or whatever the hell happened in those tunnels, I’ve been having them more and more frequently.

Dreams about him.

Nightmares about the world ending.

I don’t know if he’s making me see them or if something else is happening.

I took Kayan’s powers. Is it possible I took Eldrion’s, too? Is he seeing what I’m seeing?

Something inside me feels dull and empty every time I realise I have been dreaming and that he’s not really here with me. It feels as if he is too far away, as if there is an invisible thread pulling me towards him, vicious voices in my head telling me to go to him.

One in particular. It could be his. It could be mine. It sounds like both and neither.

It whispers to me on the wind.

Go to him. Find him. You have to find him, Alana.

Briony tugs my sleeve. “Alana? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” I shake my head. She looks more ghostly than I do. She is pale and drawn. We have survived on little food for the past three weeks.

Trapped within our small protection shield, hiding from Eldrion’s gaze in the deepest part of the woods outside of Luminael, there are too many of us and not enough wildlife or edible vegetation to sustain us.

Yes, we have the river, thank goodness. But water will not sustain us forever.

“How are the Leafborne?” I ask.

The camp is very much divided. The Shadowkind are suspicious of us. We are suspicious of them.

I say we . . .

I am not one of them. Despite everything, my kin still do not trust me. I am neither Shadowkind nor Leafborne. I float between them, and both groups look at me with disgust.

Finn, as always, is the only one who treats me with kindness. Although, I wish he would treat me with more than kindness if I’m honest. He has barely touched me since we arrived here, and I’m not sure if it’s because we’re in such close quarters with the others or because something has changed.

I wonder if I was more... satisfied... whether the dreams of Eldrion would be fewer. Whether Finn could fuck Eldrion out of my head.

But I haven’t told him about them. I can’t.

If he knew what I saw and what Eldrion and I did in the tunnels... I swallow hard. It feels like a betrayal. Finn would see it as a betrayal. It is a betrayal.

My body betrayed me, and I betrayed Finn.

Perhaps the others are right; perhaps I am a monster.

Briony starts to walk towards the food station, where we take it in turns to volunteer as chefs and to hand out rations. She takes a cup of nettle tea and wrinkles her nose at the lack of sugar. She drinks it down anyway, but I opt for my one portion of walnut coffee.

No milk. No sugar, but better than nettles.

We find a space next to the fire and sit beside one another.

We are the only mixed friendship out of the two groups of fae. No one else has dared to cross the divide, and I appreciate Briony more than I can make her understand. The fact she has not shied away from me shows she is a true friend.

“Spirits are low,” she mutters. “The Leafborne accused the Shadowkind of giving themselves greater rations at breakfast.” She pauses and looks at me furtively from the corner of her eye. “You have been gone since breakfast. Where have you been?”

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