Page 22 of True North

Everything seemed to be happening at full speed since she agreed to marry him yesterday. Toni wished they could stay locked away in their hotel room tangled up in bed together, but she was also curious about what her father’s letter said. She was anxious to get to Nico’s friend’s house. After they picked up the package, she hoped to head back home, but she knew Nico wouldn’t go for that idea; not until they were certain about what they were up against.

“Josh lives another ten minutes or so from here,” Nico said, pulling off to a little restaurant in a little beach town. “This is one of my favorite places to eat. Do you mind if we stop?” he asked.

Toni shook her head. “Nope, I’m actually starving,” she said. He helped her out of the car, and she almost stopped dead when she saw the name of the little restaurant. “True North?” she asked.

“Yep, that’s the name of this place, why?” He stood next to her as she studied the sign.

“That was the name of my father’s sailboat,” she whispered.

“If this isn’t okay,” he said, “I can find us someplace else to eat.”

“No,” she said, shaking off the fog that seemed to be her constant companion since her last accident. “It just brought back old memories, all good.” She squeezed his hand, and he led the way into the restaurant. Toni felt foolish acting so irrationally about the restaurant’s name being the same as her father’s sailboat. She felt as though she owed Nico an explanation.

After he ordered for the both of them, she leaned forward. “I’m sorry I freaked out a little,” she whispered.

“It’s not something you have to apologize for, honey,” he dramatically whispered back, causing her to giggle. He sobered. “Do you want to talk about it—about your dad?” he asked. “I know I’ve told you he wasn’t my biggest fan, but that doesn’t mean I want you to shut that part of your life off from me.”

Toni smiled and reached across the table for his hand, needing the comfort and the contact. “Thank you,” she said. Nico nodded at her and waited for her to continue. “When I was a young girl, I loved sailing.” She laughed, remembering how her father used to call her his first mate.

“You hate it now.” Nico seemed surprised by her admission. “What changed?”

“I’m not sure,” she admitted. “One day, I was fine with it all and then poof, I had this irrational fear of sailing, to the point of making myself sick. Now, I can’t step foot on a boat without being sick. My father chalked it up to just having motion sickness, but the psychiatrist I saw after my mother passed saw the link between her death and me getting sick every time I stepped onto a boat.” She paused when the waitress brought their food and drinks.

“Go on,” Nico prompted, once they were alone again.

“You see,” she said, “my mother went sailing with the two of us every Saturday until she fell ill. After she died, I couldn’t go out anymore, it just made me too sick. I never really tried to get over it; I just accepted it. My sickness just became part of who I was, and my father left me at home when he took time away from his work schedule to go out sailing. Eventually, he sold the boat.” She shrugged.

“Why was it named True North?” Nico questioned.

“He said it was for my mother, that she was his true north, his guiding star. She was the person who always led him home,” she sighed. “They were truly in love and my dad wasn’t the same man you knew. She made him a better person,” Toni said, feeling the sadness of her mother’s loss wash over her again as if it were still fresh and hadn’t happened almost fifteen years ago.

“I’m sorry, baby,” Nico whispered.

“It was a long time ago,” she said. “Let’s eat and get back on the road.” Toni was anxious to get to her package and see what her father had left for her to find.

Toni sat in the little hotel room Nico found for them to spend the night in. They had visited his old college roommate, Josh, for a few hours, and by the time they left, it was too late to drive back to town. Nico had planned on a few nights away from Boston anyway, wanting to make sure they covered their tracks, just in case anyone followed the package. She loved the way Nico wanted to keep her safe and took care of her, but a part of her felt guilty he was involved in her mess. If it weren’t for her, he’d be at home working on his research with his team, not scouring the Northeast for a hotel.

She held the thick envelope with Josh’s name on it, not yet finding the nerve to rip it open. The guys had given her some privacy earlier, but she didn’t want to open the letter without Nico. He had gone out to the car to grab their bags after he checked them in. She assumed Nico was once again giving her some space to read the letter from her father, but she couldn’t bring herself to open it. Toni turned the envelope over in her hand and put it on the bed, next to where she sat.

A shower seemed less daunting, and she stood to turn on the warm water. Toni stripped and stepped into the spray and groaned at just how good it felt. “I see you didn’t get the chance to open your letter,” Nico said, standing in the bathroom’s entrance. She yelped and jumped, startled by his sudden appearance. “Sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“No, you just gave me a start,” she covered. She couldn’t explain why she had been so jumpy lately. She felt off the entire day, ever since seeing that sign for True North at the restaurant where they ate lunch. It was almost as if her father were sending her signs, even trying to tell her something, but she had no idea what it could be.

“Do you think my father is trying to tell me something?” she asked out loud. Toni really didn’t mean to ask Nico, but he nodded.

“I think you might find your answer in the package sitting on our bed, honey.” Nico smiled at her and stripped out of his clothes. She just about forgot what they were talking about, watching his muscles bunch and flex with his efforts. He opened the glass shower door and stepped into the hot spray, groaning as Toni did moments earlier. Nico pulled her back against his body, and she willingly let him wrap her in his arms.

“What’s wrong, baby?” he questioned. Toni should have known Nico would be able to tell something was off with her. He seemed to know her inside and out and it made her a little sad she didn’t have the same knowledge as him. She wondered if she ever had.

“Did I know your moods, Nico? Was I able to tell when you were upset or just off?” Nico kissed the column of her neck and gently bit down on her shoulder, teasing her.

“Yes,” he sighed against her skin. “You know me better than anyone else in my life,” he admitted. She didn’t miss the sad undertones in his statement. She knew her amnesia was probably harder on him than it was on her. Nico was the one dealing with a loss more than she was.

“You mean, I used to know you better than anyone else?” she asked.

“No, baby, I mean just what I said. You still know me better than anyone else in my life. That hasn’t changed. We proved that yesterday when you said yes to my marriage proposal. And again, when you could tell I was holding back with you, not wanting to push you too hard during sex. You still know me, it’s just different than before. We’ll get back to that place one way or another.” Nico soaped up his hands with her shampoo and worked it into her long blonde hair. She leaned back into his body, loving the way his talented fingers massaged her scalp.

“Did you used to wash my hair for me?” she whispered.

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