Page 15 of Lost in Yonkers

“Tell me where she is, Blade,” he begged again. “Let me be there for her. It’s what I want. I need to be there when my daughter is born, and I need to convince Wren that I’m an idiot.”

“I’m pretty sure that she already knows that you’re an idiot, Yonkers.” Blade sighed. “If I tell you where Wren is, I need you to promise that you’re not going to hurt her again. She’s in a fragile state right now.”

“I swear to you that I won’t hurt her again. I’m in love with her, man. I just need to find her to tell her that. I won’t fuck things up again, I promise,” Yonkers said. He promised himself that he wasn’t going to screw things up again with her. His mother wouldn’t want him to give up his one chance at happiness. Becoming a grandmother was the only thing keeping her from relapsing again. She had something to look forward to and that wasn’t something that he could take away from her.

“Why did you do it?” Blade asked. “Why not just tell her how you felt about her from the start? Didn’t my sister deserve at least that from you?”

“I had just found out that my mother was back in the ICU, and it didn’t look good. I was out of my mind with worry, and I took out my pain on Wren. I never imagined that such horrible things would end up coming out of my mouth. I should have taken some time before talking to Wren. Hell, I should have slept on the news that my mother might not make it instead of having a conversation about our future with your sister. I didn’t believe that I deserved a future with her or my kid,” he admitted.

“How is your mom now?” Blade asked.

“She’s not in the clear, but she’s out of the ICU for now. They aren’t making any promises, but I’m hoping she’ll be okay to come home soon.”

“And you’re going to be there if they send her home, to take care of her, right?” Blade asked.

“Yes,” Yonkers whispered, “she’s my mother. I want Wren with me when I go back to New York. I need her to be with me. I’m going to ask your sister to marry me,” he said.

“Marry you?” Blade questioned. “Do you think that’s the next step?”

“Well, she’s already having my kid, so yeah. In fact, I’d say that I’ve done things a bit backward. I love her,” he said again. “I don’t want to let her go again—I can’t. I want her and my kid in my life.”

“And you want them to move to New York with you,” Blade breathed.

“I know that you feel like I want to take your sister away from you, but I want her to be my family,” Yonkers said.

“She’s my family too,” Blade insisted. “But I understand you want her with you. I think that you need to tell Wren everything that you just told me. Let her decide what she wants. If she wants to move to New York with you, I won’t stand in your way. In fact, I’ll give you my blessing.”

“Thanks, Blade,” he said. Yonkers was finally going to get to talk to Wren after over two weeks of searching for her and worrying about her—and this time, he wasn’t going to fuck things up by saying the wrong thing.

Yonkers had flown into Huntsville airport and drove his rental to the address that Blade had given him and cut the engine. He looked over the tiny house that she had supposedly been staying at since she got back to Huntsville. It was Trixie’s home that she rented since moving in with Blade. He said that the place didn’t have any renters currently, so Trixie offered the house to Wren since she didn’t want to stay at her apartment. It looked no bigger than a shoebox and he knew that there wouldn’t be much room once the baby came.

He grabbed the flowers that he had purchased, and walked to the front door, hoping that Wren would answer it. He knocked three times before she finally shouted for him to, “Hold his horses”. Yonkers couldn’t hide his smile. She was always so bossy and he kind of liked that about her.

She pulled the door open and glared out at him. “You,” she spat. Yonkers shoved his boot-clad foot in the doorway so that she couldn’t slam the door in his face.

“Just hear me out, honey,” he begged.

“Don’t call me honey,” she said. “You lost the right to call me that when you told me that you didn’t want me—you don’t want us,” she said, rubbing her enormous belly.

“I didn’t mean a word of what I told you,” he said. “I’m so sorry that I said any of those things to you, honey.” He could see her anger deflate just a bit in front of his eyes and all he could think to do was keep talking in hopes that she’d eventually forgive him.

“Then, why did you say those things, Chris?” she asked.

“I’m not going to make excuses for my behavior. My mother was in the ICU, and she took a turn for the worse, but that doesn’t pardon what I said. I lied to you because I was afraid to let you in. I was afraid to love you because I couldn’t stand the pain of losing you too.”

“Oh, Chris,” Wren breathed. “Why didn’t you tell me about what was going on with your mom? Why did you keep that from me?”

“I didn’t want to upset you, and I don’t want your pity either,” he almost shouted at her.

“Well, that’s too bad,” Wren insisted. “I think the world of your mother and you should have told me what was happening. I would want to know. How is she now?” He could tell that she almost didn’t want to ask the question, not wanting any more bad news from him.

“She’s out of the ICU, but they still don’t know if she’ll pull through this,” he said, trying to hide the tears that threatened to come.

“Even more reason for me to be with you,” she said. “I know that I only met your mom four months ago, but she’s important to me too. She’s going to be our daughter’s grandmother.”

“That’s why I came down here—to ask you to marry me and move back to New York. I need to be close to my mother, and I know that your family is here, but I was hoping we could go between Alabama and New York since I can work anywhere,” he said.

“You came here to ask me to marry you?” she squeaked.

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