Page 13 of Lost in Yonkers

“She’ll get over it. Maybe the two of you can do some online shopping,” Yonkers offered.

“I’d like that,” Wren said.

“Listen guys, if you need me, I can run up there to help out for a bit. I know that Trixie would love a trip to New York,” Blade said.

“I’ll keep that in mind, but I’ve got Wren,” Yonkers insisted, “but thanks for the offer, man.”

“We’ll be okay,” Wren promised. She wasn’t sure if she even believed what she had just promised her brother, but she hoped that it was going to be true. She just wanted her daughter to be okay, the rest would work itself out.

Yonkers

Wren had been on bedrest for two and a half months, and she looked about ready to burst. The only time she was allowed to leave the house was to attend Lamaze classes with him and go to her weekly doctor checks. She was tired of laying around, and her nesting instincts had kicked in full force. She had ordered a bunch of things for the house and the baby online, and his mother didn’t help matters much, saying that she needed things for when the baby got there.

Yonkers was just tired and grumpy from having to put things together, wash everything, and put it all away. Between taking care of his mom, and Wren, and getting the nursery ready, he was ready to drop. And to top it all off, his mom wasn’t doing well in her current cancer treatment and her doctors were worried.

“If you keep working late hours, you’re going to burn yourself out,” Wren said, sitting up in bed. “You’re barely sleeping.” He knew just how many hours he was getting each night—about three, and he was exhausted, not that he’d tell Wren that.

“I’m just trying to keep up with everything,” he said. Works being great about me missing a few meetings every week, while I run you and mom to your appointments, but I try to use the nighttime to catch up. He was still working forty hours a week, but his hours were usually when his co-workers were sleeping.

“Well, I appreciate you doing everything for me and the baby, and I know that your mom does too,” Wren said. “You’re such a good man, Chris.” He hated it when she fussed over him that way. He was never good with emotions and all that junk. And praise just made him want to break out in hives.

“Do we really have to get all mushy and talk about feelings and all that stuff?” he grumbled. Wren propped a pillow behind her back, and he knew from the look on her face that she was about to get a little bit more serious than he bargained for. “Shit,” he mumbled to himself.

“What do you have against feelings and all that stuff?” she asked. “We don’t ever discuss our feelings, Chris. I’ve lived here for months, and we’ve never said anything about our feelings. I have no idea how you feel about me, Chris.” Wren stared him down and he knew that she wasn’t going to let him off the hook this time.

“Say something, Chris,” she demanded. “Say anything.”

“What do you want me to say, Wren?” he asked. He knew exactly what she wanted him to say, but he just couldn’t.

“I want you to tell me that you love me,” she shouted. “I love you—it’s not so hard to say, Chris.” She waited him out and when he shook his head at her, she let out a sigh. He knew that he was letting her down, but he just couldn’t give her the words that she wanted to hear from him.

“I can’t tell you that, Wren. I can’t give you the words that might one day break your heart. I know that I’m not any good for you, even after all these months, but I’m trying to be. I can’t say those words to you unless I’m sure that I deserve to hear them back.”

“But I just said them to you. Doesn’t that show you that I think you are worthy of receiving them from me? I love you, Chris. You are worthy of me saying that to you. I just wish that you felt the same way about me.” Wren swiped at her tears, and it nearly tore his heart out.

“I’ve got to take Ma in for her treatment and then, we’re meeting with her team of doctors. Can we finish this later?” he asked. He had kept the fact that his mother had taken a turn for the worse from Wren, not wanting her to worry. The doctor wanted her to have zero stress and finding out that his mother wasn’t doing well would stress her out. He was dealing with enough stress on his own and worrying about his mother was tearing him apart. Not being able to share it with Wren was the hardest part.

“It’s finished, Chris,” she said. He wanted to ask her what she meant by that, but he was afraid that she would tell him that things between them were finished, and he didn’t want to hear those words from her right now.

“We can talk later if you’re up when I get back. It won’t be until late though,” he said. He could feel her eyes on him as he walked out of their bedroom, and he worried that he had just made the biggest mistake of his life.

He got home later that night and found a very dark, empty house. His fears were confirmed when he found most of Wren’s things missing from their shared closet and a note that said that she needed some time to think. She didn’t even sign the note and left no indication as to where she was going.

“Shit,” he grumbled. She was eight and a half months pregnant and the last thing she needed was to move out of their place, carrying suitcases, and driving God only knew where. What if she was hurt somewhere and no one was around to help her? Or worse, what if she was in labor and he was missing the birth of his daughter?

Yonkers pulled his cell phone out and called Blade. If Wren confided in anyone, it would be her brother. His call went straight to voicemail and Blade’s voice telling him that he should leave a message.

“I need you to fucking call me about your sister,” Yonkers shouted into the phone. “She’s left me, and I need to know where she is, Blade. She’s supposed to be on bedrest.” If he could have slammed the phone down to end the call, he would have. Instead, he hit the end button and shoved the phone into his pocket.

“I can’t sit here,” he grumbled. He could only think of one place to go—his new club. With any luck, some of his new brothers would be hanging around still and he’d be able to get their opinions about what he should do because he had no clue.

Yonkers rode his bike downtown to the Royal Bastards clubhouse and took a deep breath, letting it back out. This place was a bit different from the Royal Bastard’s clubhouse down in Huntsville. It wasn’t a working bar—only members were allowed inside to drink unless they had invited guests and women in to party. Tonight, the place was pretty quiet, and he worried that he had missed the guys. There were a few bikes still parked out front, so he parked and decided to take a chance.

He walked into the clubhouse and found his new Prez, Hurricane, sitting in the corner with a guy named Reacher and another one that he didn’t know yet. “Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” Hurricane asked.

“We haven’t seen you around for weeks, man,” Reacher said. “How’s your mom?” Reacher had helped him out a few times, driving his mom to her appointments when Wren had a doctor's visit at the same time. The guy was a real lifesaver.

“She’s not doing well, but I have another problem and I was wondering if you guys might be able to help me out,” Yonkers said.

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